You have recently met potential Mister Right. You played it smart. You knew how to make a guy chase you using male psychology, and after a long chase, he is finally yours.
Then, suddenly, you feel as if something has shifted. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but things just are not the same. You have been seeing each other and going on dates—maybe you’ve even met each other’s families—but you don’t know what to do to make things feel normal again.
You are hesitant to bring it up in case you are wrong. You have turned to the internet for help and have been met with resources on how to make him chase you after a fight, but you never had a fight to begin with. Now, you are left troubled, confused, and wondering how to get a man to do anything for you like he did at the start.
As much as I do not want to say this, there is a chance that the excitement of the relationship has worn off. Does this mean you are doomed? Not necessarily.
The problem with the chase is that once it ends, most couples tend to stop doing the things that made their partner interested in the first place. Some of the most successful couples I know keep the chase alive by finding new ways to spark their relationship.
Here is the good news—if you feel that your man is starting to get bored after the chase, all you need to do is have him chase you again. Just because you are together does not mean you should let the spark die!
Show Him You Are Okay Without Him
If you have noticed that your partner is pulling away, shift the focus away from him and onto you. Don’t do this intending to hurt him, make him jealous, or get his attention–do it because you deserve to be happy.
Call up your old friends, have a girl’s night out, put your phone away, and have fun. Remind yourself that you do not need him to live your best life. In the best outcome, he starts to worry he is losing you. In the worst outcome, nothing changes, but you are still looking out for yourself, and at the end of the day, your happiness matters more.
Do Not Show Desperation
It is so easy in these moments to show weakness, but it’s often best to fight those temptations. The more you pressure him, the more he will pull away.
This means not bombarding him for answers as to why he is acting the way he is. Do not spam his texts, cry, or scream at him. If you meet his actions with no reaction, he is more than likely to question what happened to the girl who was so into him.
Make yourself less available for him. Think back to when you first met—he most likely wasn’t asking to see you every day, and you most likely weren’t saying yes to every single request. You were both busy with your own personal lives.
The less accessible someone is, the more it shows they have a full life, which can be magnetic. If you are around him and are always available via phone or text 24/7, chances are, he hasn’t had the time to miss you.
Let him miss you. Take your time responding to his calls or texts. Be busy next time he asks to hang out.
And I’m not saying to fake it—actually make yourself busy. Take the time to focus on other passions and hobbies of yours. Again, it will make your life fuller, and it will give you more to talk about the next time you do see him.
It’s natural for dynamics to shift in relationships as couples move through phases. However, just because dynamics change doesn’t mean they have to stop entirely. If you want to rekindle your partner’s interest in you, focusing on yourself can help you do just that.