I really think that you have to find a partner that compliments you and is somebody that pushes you and is better at some things than you are, so they can push you to improve yourself as a person.
-Ashton Kutcher
Leave it to Ashton Kutcher, a man capable of playing both Michael Kelso and Steve Jobs (the gamut of stupidity and cold intelligence?) to come up with a fairly accurate quote on what it’s like to be a man and accept a compliment.
Do men enjoy compliments? The easy answer is that everyone enjoys compliments, but with a few caveats. We enjoy hearing compliments that offer reassurance…that give us validation for who we are and what we do. It’s the same thing with women, the same thing with men. We love sincere compliments.
We don’t much appreciate flattery or compliments that are so “fake” or that suggest some ulterior motive. For example, no one really appreciates the conniving co-worker who comes up to you and says:
“Hey chief. Doing a great job on those reports. You’re really getting it done. Way to go you!”
There’s nothing real, nothing emotionally connecting about such an insincere comment.
(And then of course he badmouths you to the boss behind your back!)
Another example would be a woman being harassed by a man on the street. The guy is sleazy, sarcastic and generally uncouth. So when he sees a woman and senses she’s not interested in him, he decides manages to say, “Hey gorgeous! Want to go out?”
Hardly a compliment that’s going to be appreciated, right?
So you could say that compliments should always be taken in the right context, or else the person might be insulted at the way the compliment was given.
Which leads us to the main question of this book: do single men like it when a woman compliments them?
Sometimes it’s simply a matter of:
A: How often does he receive compliments in general?
B: What is he usually complimented on vs. what he’s actually self-conscious about?
C: If he’s defensive about something and more suspicious in general—such as having a lot of money.
The key is to find compliments that actually touch his heart rather than just butter him up. If you really like a guy then YES, a compliment can go a long way in telling him how you feel…and yet do it in such a way that you’re not throwing yourself at him, and you’re still making him chase you.
In this special report we’re going to review 11 compliments that almost immediately capture his heart and surpass all his “filters” of being defensive. These are compliments that most men DO appreciate because they’re not just the same old stuff. They actually affect him in a very subtle “emotional” way, whether he shows it or not.
By the end of this report, you’re going to have the power to make a man melt in your presence. You’re going to make him feel something because you’re going to break through his defensive shields and give him a compliment he’s going to remember for a long time.
But before we get into the compliments, let me introduce myself in case this is your first time hearing about me.
My name is Matthew Coast and I’m known as the “commitment coach.”
Maybe you’ve heard of me?
I’m the head dating coach, author, and founder at commitmentconnection.com.
I’ve taught, coached, and spoken to tens of thousands of both men and women since 2005 about dating and relationships.
My videos and articles reach millions of women, every month, all over the world.
Many of them have gone on to get married, raise families, and live happily ever after.
I’ve helped save marriages, mend broken hearts, and heal struggling relationships.
My videos, articles, and dating advice reach millions of women all over the world, every month on hundreds of different websites across the internet.
And today, I want to help you...
So let’s get started with compliment #13.
Maybe it’s instinct to say, “What are you thinking?” but this is a more complimentary way to openly appreciate his mind. In most cases, a man feels that his mind (his wit and wisdom) are his best features. Whereas there might be a man bigger, stronger and more successful than he is, his mind is something truly unique in the world. He feels validation for who he is and for the person he has worked so hard to be internally. This will make him instantly think of you as a woman who “gets him”!
Because you sense in him, a great mind, and you challenge him to keep thinking bigger. You’re his biggest “fan” to so speak, and you encourage him to speak his mind. That’s one of the best ways to get past all the superficial shields he might have up.
With good reason, a man loves this compliment because deep down men are protectors. They are providers (in a variety of ways, depending on the man) and so the idea of a woman saying she acknowledges his power, his ability and his willingness to protect her is a huge ego-pat.
Be specific when possible, letting him know you feel safe in his big strong arms or when he holds you. Let him know that you think he’s fearless, that his instincts to protect you, and attack anyone that dare cross you, are lion-like.
You give him permission to embrace his most masculine qualities. Speaking of which…
A man’s instinct may be to let you help him make decisions for a family, or as a couple. But the truth is sometimes a woman really enjoys it when a man takes charge and just says what he wants, says what he’s thinking and makes a decision on strong-minded impulse. And if you want to see more of him being confident and strong that way, give him the compliment that inspires his alpha male-ness.
Tell him that when he’s decisive, you feel turned on in his presence. Tell him you lose control and feel animal attraction when he’s calling the shots. This will build up his ego and let him know it’s okay to be a man and to be independent again. And yes, sometimes it’s a lot of fun to “follow his lead” and let him feel like a king for a day.
Bonus points if your man is a little self-conscious about his high-tenor voice, but even if he’s deeper in tone than Sly Stallone, he still loves it when his favorite woman comments on the masculinity of his voice.
Butter him up further my describing the physical effects your voice has on him—that it gives you chills, or that your voice is soothing on a bad day. When he sings softly, she chokes up in emotion. When he says something romantic, she swoons.
A man’s voice is closely tied in with his mind, his uniqueness, and the way he interacts with the world. Men like compliments that are specific and that involve some emotional aspect about themselves.
Complimenting his voice is a great way to involve him emotionally without making him self-conscious about sharing his deepest “feelings” that might make him uncomfortable. He has power over the emotion of his voice. Yet, you find even the subtle nuances of his voice very powerful.
And hey, between Elvis, Mick Jagger and John Lennon, it’s a manly thing to have a beautiful voice!
If you’re dating or close to dating a bodybuilder or a movie star, more power to you!
But just in case you’re not, know that a lot of guys have average to above average bodies and faces. That means that deep down, even if they act like a stud, they are a little self conscious—especially when they think about how they compare to other men.
So your man is just dying to hear from you that his body turns you on. Focus on specific parts of his anatomy, and not just his most obvious man tool. (Though you always get bonus points for telling him it’s almost too long or girthy!)
Describe how his jawline is strong, how his lips are soft and sensual. Describe how you love the way he looks in jeans or a white t-shirt. Tell him you love his hair, or his butt. Tell him how soulful and haunting his eyes are—how it makes her feel to look at you and lose yourself in a moment with him.
Be as specific as you want, and the more you focus on one part at a time, the more he will dig the compliment.
It also helps to appeal to his vanity just a little bit by comparing him to a hot movie star he (sort of) looks like, to give him an example of why you think he’s attractive—some comparison to remind him, that yes, he is far above “average”.
Hey, he looks like Channing Tatum! Or he has a Vin Diesel thing going on.
More of a funny guy? He looks like Ben Stiller or Paul Rudd. Make him feel proud of his looks by giving him a mainstream comparison.
Naturally, the best way to capture his heart and perhaps even turn him red from blushing, is to tease him about other women checking him out.
For example, “Hey that girl over there was really giving you the eye. I might have to slap her around a bit.”
Even though men can be faithful, they do still enjoy the idea of “turning heads” and being able to attract other women. Gently massaging their ego, and letting them know that you’re “jealous” in a playful and positive way of all the attention he’s getting will help him feel on top of the world…and ready to charm you.
Talk about a compliment! Usually men have a real problem when it comes to listening to advice, as I’m sure you’ve noticed before. A man’s ego is closely tied with his ability to solve things on his own.
He wants to solve problems and impress you. But since you’ve been consistently challenging him lately and striving to be more independent…
Pay him a tremendous, if rare, compliment by actually asking his opinion on something and asking him to share his advice. This is a compliment of a different sort because it shows you really do value his insight.
Even though you are independent you still rely on him to provide help, because you trust him, believe in his ability to problem-solve, and value his opinion as a good friend.
Now that he knows you really do trust him and value his opinion as an expert on the subject, he will always feel welcomed to share more with you.
One reason why men enjoy sexual compliments is because they usually work really hard at it to make it above average and in case you haven’t heard, men appreciate something more so after they put forth effort to get it. So after making the guy work for it (and not going to bed with him so easily) she allows him to work his damndest for her full orgasmic potential.
When you do actually go to bed, you hold nothing back and give him a sincere performance, feeling uninhibited in his arms, giving all trust to him to make the world shake! By complimenting his lovemaking technique, you encourage and cherish his masculinity, while also filling him with afterglow pride.
It also helps if you use sex in compliments later on in the day or in the same week. “I still can’t stop thinking about last night.” As the relationship progresses you can work in sexual compliments in more emotional ways like, “I like watching you…imagining us together, like last night.”
Compliment his driving and you earn a friend for life! This is part of a man’s ego and instinctive need to “protect” and prove his most valuable skills. Men take pride in driving, not only for being safe even in dangerous situations, but also for doing specific tasks—like parallel parking perfectly, or smooth line changing, or even his mellow attitude in contrast to road rage.
Tell him you feel safe when he drives and that he makes the adventure of driving to new places (and not getting lost!) look so easy.
Maybe men have always sought glory in their vehicles, from the times of Viking ships to the days of cars, to even their private jets. Complimenting him on a “road” well traveled lets him feel in control and like he’s an excellent leader in multiple facets of life.
Complimenting a man’s sense of humor, however, witty, dark or goofy if it, is closely connected to complimenting his imaginative mind. Men not only use humor as a defense mechanism…they also use humor as a means to woo the woman they like and to create camaraderie among business associates and co-workers.
A man’s sense of humor is a glimpse into his “happiest soul”, a place where he truly feels at peace and giddy with life.
Simply put, a man’s sense of humor is one of the primary ways he interacts with his environment and with other people. Appreciating his sense of humor shows him that you value his effort to be entertaining; furthermore, his fun personality is really what draws you—not just appearances or profiles.
Even better: when you notice his sense of humor and make it seem like he really makes you lose control—that his funny side activates the pleasure centers in your brain, leading smoothly from belly laugh to full body passion—he will continue to try to make you laugh. And laugh. Because men, deep down, are big puppy dogs. They love to please.
Lots of women will notice the way a man looks, his successful lifestyle and the way he’s changing the world for the better. And all that’s great.
But if a woman really wants to charm a man and capture his heart, she will let him know that his imagination and humor always gets her attention. Whenever she laughs heartily she lets him know:
Our sense of smell is always a little finicky. One minute we like rose and lavender and then next it makes us sick. We’re also very judgmental when it comes to avoiding people who have the wrong smell! They repel us, almost on a biological level—related to chemistry and compatibility.
So of course, we tend to be very self-conscious around our lovers and even our friends. We want to smell good because smell is related to chemistry, to comfort and acceptance. Therefore, telling him that he smells nice out in public compliments his good taste in cologne. Telling him you like the way he smells around the house, or during / after sex, compliments his sexuality, and reminds him that you find his “pheromones”—his unique body chemistry appealing. You really are a match beyond attraction!
Sometimes amazement isn’t even required. Men are oftentimes so excited to talk about their favorite thing in life that they’ll ramble on for minutes on end.
When you listen objectively, showing support and enthusiasm for their life’s work, men take that as the ultimate compliment. Since men constantly want your attention, they’re used to distraction, to entertaining you by talking about the things you like.
But when this man discovers that he can really be himself around you, that’s when the “amazement” sets in. He’s sharing what’s near to his hearts and that’s all that’s necessary. You get him. You think it’s fascinating. You touch his heart by showing genuine interest in his favorite hobby. Not too many women will ever challenge him in this wonderful way, by encouraging him to share—not what makes her excited, but what gives him pleasure.
Along the same lines as encouraging him to talk about his passion, remind him that yes, you DO notice what excellent quality his work is. Whether he is a mechanic, engineer, carpenter, artist or tech guy, regardless, rest assured he takes pride in his work.
If he’s generally successful that means he’s probably a perfectionist too. By noticing the fine quality of work he does, you show him that you respect his abilities to provide and to be great at something. You notice what others take for granted.
Be specific to show that it’s a sincere compliment. Compare his good work to the shoddy work of others to caress his ego, but not sound hokey.
Even if he scoffs, EVEN if he pretend like he hates his job, trust me…he appreciates the vote of confidence.
This is such a powerful line it’s not to be abused by saying it too often or even too early. Every man wants to be a woman’s hero, and especially the woman he’s falling in love with. He’ll do anything to please her, protect her and become her knight in shining armor.
Being a woman’s hero means she is inspired by him, challenged to become a better person, even while she challenges him to reach higher.
Being the “inspiration” behind a man’s dreams is a big responsibility. This is why this compliment is best RESERVED for a moment where he truly and deeply falls for you. When he confides in you and when he trusts you with his unguarded heart.
He may even be looking for some reassurance that you feel the same way he does.
What a better way to reassure him than to admit that more than any other man before, he is the one that touches your heart.
Every man wants to be a hero. Every man wants to feel like the lead character in his own Great Story.
You have the ability to make him feel that way. Compliment him frequently, but only when he works for the recognition. Keep him chasing you and reward him with compliments that really capture his heart and keep him coming back to you—not just an “attraction” but a familiar feeling of home, where he yearns to be.
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…