So many resources out there have a specific set of rules to follow to keep a man in your orbit. Don’t do too much or you will push him away. Don’t nag, or he will pull back. Make sure he is always chasing you, regardless of where you are at. The list goes on and on.
Sure, there are plenty of tips on how to make guys chase you through text and in person. And while keeping the chase alive can cause wonders for your relationship, it should not be the only method you use to resolve issues in your relationship.
Men often run hot and cold. One moment, they’re fully invested, and the next, you’re spiraling and wondering if guys get bored after the chase. Maybe you amplify things by spicing them up, so he chases you again, but it doesn’t last. Now, you’re confused again, asking yourself why guys chase you, then ignore you.
Do you see the problem here? It’s not a fun cycle to be in. But know this—if you want a man to do anything for you, he should do it because he willingly wants to make you happy.
A relationship cannot survive if he is only doing something because you want him to. Whether you want him to chase you or love you or do anything for you, the key is to get him to want to do it.
Your man, like anybody else, values feeling appreciated and validated. Let your man know that his efforts are noticed–show your appreciation for the things he does by expressing your gratitude.
Maybe he remembered to fill up your glass of water before bed or he called you on his drive home to hear about your day. However small the act, don’t miss the opportunity to let him know how happy it made you. The more appreciated he feels, the more he will do for you.
A relationship cannot be one-way. There must be a balance.
Be cautious that your relationship doesn’t adopt a giver-taker dynamic. Don’t keep score, but also don’t just expect your man to do everything for you. Remember that the validation and happiness you feel when he does things for you are feelings he wants to experience, as well. If you want your man to do things for you, reciprocate. If he takes you on a day trip, buy dinner. If he takes out the trash, clean the dishes.
Open the Door to Communication
As much as I know you wish it were so, men do not always speak your language, and they can’t read your mind. That is why it is so important to express your wants and your needs to him. It might be nerve-wracking, but having a transparent and open line of communication sets your relationship up for success.
Let him know what makes you happy, what your ideal relationship comprises, and what things you would love to see from him. The more you speak up, the more likely it is that you’ll notice a positive shift in your relationship.
Praise His Efforts
This goes hand-in-hand with appreciation, but it is a little deeper than that. Compliment your partner’s efforts. If he took out the trash, kiss him and verbally express your gratitude.
The key here is positive reinforcement. By celebrating and praising the things he does, you are subconsciously wiring his brain to feel good and happy, and he will continue to do these things.
Strong relationships feature good communication and reciprocation. It’s natural to want a partner that cares for you and would do anything for you, within reason. By caring for your partner, being honest about what you want, and going the extra mile to meet their desires, you can have exactly that.