If there’s one thing we all agree on about online communication, it’s that it’s difficult to determine the “feeling” of a text if you’re not standing directly in front of the other person. It’s what brought us the concept of the “emoji”, the smiley face, and of course, the brackets explaining, [I was being sarcastic, BTW]
Flirting with a guy over text can be even more complicated than texting without smiley faces. Because now, you’re not just worrying about how the other person will interpret the text—now you have to wonder, is this text going to improve our chemistry and bring something more to our romance?
Can a guy really ditch a girl just because he hates her texts? Believe it or not, yes. Texting isn’t to be taken lightly. Just like drunk dialing has ruined plenty of relationships before they ever really started, so too has to text without a strategy ruined some really good chemistry between potential couples.
Remember that texting is furthering the initial conversation you had. There has to be some coherence to the discussion, as well as a sense of playfulness and with just a hint of attraction. Here are five ways to flirt with a guy via texting. Make sure all of your text conforms to these guidelines before texting without a plan.
1. Don’t be boring…but don’t be too weird!
Finding a balance between dreadfully boring (the old “how RU?” or “what’s up?”) and too weird (overly written or too extreme) is the key here. You do want to be unique and unlike anyone else he’s ever texted before. But you don’t want to confuse him or cause any awkward tension where he’s trying to figure out what you mean.
Stick to safe topics, but be as creative as possible when you have these topics in mind. The best bet is to write about the experiences you’ve already shared together, even if they were just in passing. For example, a conversation you had about music or movies, or a joke you both shared, or previously meeting at a specific place.
2. Try to make him laugh—laughter is a great icebreaker.
He probably tried to make you laugh when you first met, so logically speaking if you’re sending a text or replying to a somewhat boring text he sent you, maybe it’s time to flex your funny bone again. Say something funny, preferably about a subject you both already know, something from the first conversation.
You don’t have to be professional-level funny, just text something simple and cute. You could even steal a joke from the internet, make a joke about the daily foibles of life, ask a funny question, or even share a funny anecdote that recently happened to you.
3. Stop asking simple questions—start challenging him to write more!
Once you get into a rut of you saying something funny and him LOLing all the time, it’s time to change things up. The best way to avoid these dangerous one-sided conversations is by asking an open-ended question.
First thing’s first, don’t DEMAND he give you a long answer. Make him want to answer you by talking about a subject that you know he enjoys. He will be flattered if you want his “expert opinion” on something, and all the more so if it’s something you previously discussed that he’s eager to talk about.
Don’t worry about making him type out a long answer…if he gets tired of typing and wants to talk on the phone, that’s a bonus! The objective is to get him interested in having a longer conversation.
If you can’t think of anything you have in common right off the bat, then ask him abooout general subjects you previously discussed, such as family members or friends, events in the area, or other news. As a last resort, you can also bring up dating questions like, “What’s the weirdest text you’ve ever gotten from a girl before?” which is flirty and yet safe for a beginning conversation.
4. Use his name every once in a while.
It’s an aphrodisiac for a woman to use a man’s name. In the beginning series of texts, it’s more important because this gets him excited and into the conversation. He knows you’re thinking about him and that you want to talk and get to know each other.
It’s very effective to use his name, especially in emotionally evocative moments—like asking a deep question, asking about something important to him, or even in making a casually flirty comment that creates sexual tension. Using his name is more effective than a swear word…so by all means, avoid swearing but drop the bomb by using his name in a couple of powerful sentences.
5. Compliment him…about something he actually enjoys doing!
Compliments work with men, and it’s true that guys soak in compliments just as much as women, if not more. Men like to be appreciated for their looks, sense of humor, courageous or leadership qualities, physical fitness, and creativity. While the easy thing to do is butter them up focusing on their looks or their charm, if you really want to impress him go for the emotional pull.
Focus on something he’s actually done for you, or something difficult that he did for himself, and give him praise for that. Men love specific compliments the most, especially if it’s about something he did and was hoping to get noticed for. This helps you avoid insincere flattery, which can come across as too hokey and a turn-off.
The main goal is to START a conversation and then let him lead it. He wants to impress you, he wants to keep the conversation going once he’s into it. That’s why your objective is to make him feel comfortable, free to be himself, and a receptive “text” audience.
If he pulls away text him this
When a man becomes distant, pulls away or go cold send him a few of these text messages that he can’t resist.
Grab them here:
These powerful text messages spark an intense emotional intoxication of obsessive love and addictive desire within even the most uninterested man.