How to Make Him Miss You (6 Powerful Ways)

I’ve heard this story all too many times. A man and woman fool around. Eventually, they fall in love. They both needed each other, for a time. They both loved intensely…maybe too much, too soon. Eventually, he grows tired of the relationship, while she works harder and harder to save it.

Eventually, she makes a mistake (or maybe she thinks she makes a mistake) and he calls it off. The breakup is terrible…so much negative emotion, so much fallout from family members and friends.

And here’s the worst part. She’s still not over him! Everyone can sense that. Some people feel sorry for her. Others can’t believe it and ask, “Why in the world does she miss him? She deserved so much better!” And of course the man’s friends and family feel the opposite. “She needs to get over him. It’s over!”

Well, the best way to view breakups is to be realistic and to be kind to both sides – his and her perspective. Many couples break up, NOT because he was a monster or she used him or yada yada. They end because, ultimately, these two people were not compatible in the long-term.

And when one person asks me (or asks any dating coach or counselor)

“Will he ever love me again? I want him back! I made a mistake. Will we ever get back together?”

I find that the most practical answer is simple.

“That relationship is gone. It’s over. If you truly love him and if he loves you, you must approach this new relationship on NEW TERMS. New attitudes, new rules, new perspectives, and essentially, you must both become different people, better versions of yourselves, in a more adult relationship.”

That about covers it. So as we consider the question “How can I make him miss me?” let’s start from this perspective: that you will fail if you try to recreate the old relationship. But you might stand a chance if you’re brave enough to reinvent it.”

Here are a few ways to get him to miss you that are practical, long-lasting and likely to work.

1. DON’T be there for him.

Simply put, if you want to get his attention you have to STOP talking to him, stop texting him, and stop letting him feel like part of your life. This is the stage where you change. He must sense that something is happening in your life and get the proof by a strict period of no contact.

2. When he finally initiates contact, be busier.

Once some time has passed and you’re willing to respond, be careful NOT to be so easily available to him. He must sense that your time is valuable and that he must work harder to get your attention. The new you is busy, is no longer controlled by him, and has her own life to tend to. You end conversations first, you don’t wait for him to get bored. This “distant” behavior is actually what he wants. You’re giving him the message: I’ve changed. Don’t you want to know who I am now? And that will drive him crazy.

3. Be mysterious. Don’t tell, don’t show, just be.

The best part about teasing him about this New Woman you’ve become, is NOT being so eager to share. Mystery attracts men anyway. Now imagine how curious he will be once he senses the change in you…but can’t seem to get the detailed explanation that he wants. That’s a reason to keep pursuing you.

4. Demonstrate the New You – Independence, Successful, Improved

The old him wasn’t satisfied by the old you. Before, you were clingy, in love with him, needing him and building your whole life around him. But now things have changed. The new you is independent. She doesn’t “need” him. She’s successful on her own. She’s worked on old nagging personality flaws. She’s happier and healthier and living such a great life! In fact, he’s getting jealous because while you’ve moved on, he is still in the same boat. And he will soon want you back because he loves this new you.

5. Become the woman you know he wants – project his dream girl!

You know this man probably better than anyone else. So rather than explain to him why he should want you back, SHOW him. Be the woman he wants. Embody her good qualities and combine them with your own personality.

On one hand, he will sense that you’re the “perfect stranger” and have all the qualities he’s looking for. On the other hand, he also remembers you, and remembers why he fell in love with you in the first place. You’re mysterious and you’re familiar at the same time. Project these qualities. Sense what he wants you to be and then think that way, act that way, and talk that way. It will drive him crazy because all he can think now is “She’s so perfect! Why did I let her get away?”

6. Get a makeover and complement your new personality with a new sexy look.

Make sure he always sees you at your best. Dress up, throw in something “new” that you know he’s going to like and then be coy about it. Men are visual creatures so one easy way to get his attention and make him jealous, is to try a new look. Rather than bragging to him about other guys (which is a childish game) instead, simply bask in the attention of other men. Make him jealous naturally by looking good and letting other men pay attention to you.

Remember, you will always have an advantage in attracting him back to you if you appeal to his desire for both the familiar (the you he fell in love with) and the mysterious (how much you’ve changed for the better). As long as the relationship wasn’t toxic or extremely dysfunctional, you will always have an advantage over his new flame. He wants to love you again, so as long as he sees that things are going to be different this time.

Ask yourself: if I change, is HE going to change too? Your positive changes should lead to him also changing negative aspects of himself. When you both approach the new relationship from an intelligent and mature perspective, it might well succeed.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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