Did you know that you have magical powers? Kind of like the powers seen in Encanto (it's a Disney movie if you don't know)!
But whereas super powers like flying, super strength, or speed will scare a guy away…
Your magical power is much more subtle. You have power over words.
Your power allows you to influence people, get them to like you, and maybe even get that guy you’re crushing on to fall madly in love with you.
Yes, words can be extremely powerful and when you speak, you have the ability to change a person’s perception of you, as well as how they feel when you’re interacting.
Indeed, an intelligent and charming woman has the power to spark desire in men on a primal level. And getting him to fall in love or lust with you is sometimes so easy, you might want to double-check and make sure this is the relationship you really want!
Because below here, I’m going to tell you 11 feminine phrases that spark a desire in men and that can trigger their love/lust instincts.
Be careful with this power! You don’t want a man obsessed with you who you don’t know to handle. But once you decide he is the one you want, you are going to be surprised at how quickly he will fall for you just by hearing some of these feminine phrases.
In here, we’re going to share these phrases, explain why they work, and also cover how to personalize them for your own needs. By the end, you’re going to feel empowered, naturally seductive, and ultra-confident in your flirting ability.
Let’s get started by talking about a more basic concept that precedes feminine phrases.
Imagine being a woman with almost unlimited power, dating world leaders, and having more money and resources than anyone else in the world.
It sounds good, right? But with all this fame and fortune comes a massive responsibility. You’re also going to have to learn how to talk to great and powerful men.
Play your cards right and you could end up one of the most famous women in the world: Cleopatra!
She has been called the prototype for the femme fatale, a queen, and a master of seduction. But she’s also known for her intelligence, popularity with people, and as a leader who helped her country become prosperous.
Her story is nothing but old history today. But you can’t help but wonder, what made her so charming, so intelligent and so adept at learning how to read people?
She wasn’t called a master temptress for just her looks. She was said to have a most charming voice and a “knowledge of how to make herself agreeable to everyone.”
She had power over men and knew how to get them to fall in love with her.
So are you thinking what I’m thinking? If only you could learn how to be a temptress and a queen of seduction! But not to take over the world (Hmmm…maybe someday!) but simply to get the man you love to love you back just as much.
What can you learn from her, regarding feminine confidence and conversational skills?
The best way to explain these concepts is by sharing ten phrases that are sure to work on him - and then discuss the science of what these phrases actually mean and imply.
Let’s get started with Phrase #1.
Variants: “You are the most…”, “I can tell that you really…”, “With you I feel so…”, “Could you help me with…”, “I had a question I wanted to ask you…”
Explanation: Every man wants to be a hero.
Here are a few variations on the same idea. Basically, the idea is that men are seduced not by sex alone, but by the opportunity to be a hero. Call it his inner-Marvel Comics fantasy, the idea of being NEEDED, rather than tolerated. A true hero, and not just a guy.
You could say that men have a biological urge to provide for women and protect the women that he values the most. Whether that’s his girlfriend, mother, sister, female friend, or even a work colleague, a man enjoys playing the hero.
In fact, some studies have suggested that the production of testosterone is directly related to a man’s instincts for competition AND protectiveness.
Heroes not only enjoy doing the work but also the adoration, appreciation, and RESPECT they get from being there in your time of need.
So when you use phrases like “You make me feel safe…” or “You are the most intelligent man I know…” or even “I can tell that you really care about your family and that’s so admirable…” it shows him that you see his hero instinct and that’s partly why you’re attracted to him.
Let him be a hero in the way that feels natural to him!
Variants: “You are the best guy I’ve ever dated because…”, “I’m not tempted by anyone else because you are…”, “Some people don’t get you but I see you for who you are...”
Explanation: Every man wants to be appreciated for his unique personality.
In contrast to the previous phrase, which is all about empowering his sense of masculinity, this one is about everything ELSE he is, besides being a traditionally strong male. True, men do take pride in being good providers and protectors.
But the best way to boost his desire for you is to make him feel special in a sea of billions of other worthy men. While a guy might be used to being evaluated for his skills and male characteristics, what he desires most is to be appreciated for what he does.
What are the qualities that make him special? What are his hobbies and pursuits that make him the opposite of all the other guys out there? Forget his potential…what are his ambitions and his dreams?
By focusing on how he is wonderfully different from every other guy you’ve ever met (or will meet) you reassure him that he’s special. You don’t just see curiosity in him - you see value in him, and special qualities that other women might not see.
That’s going to make a man swoon for you! Even if your relationship is still strictly platonic, it’s still a great way to get him to notice you and build trust.
Men are just not congratulated or complimented very often in society. When a guy gets a compliment, it’s usually about some masculine quality. But what about his passions and his unique personality that he’s hardly ever praised for? That’s where he’s most vulnerable and that’s where he needs some TLC for the soul!
Variants: “I’m so glad you said that…”, “That’s a great idea…”, “I’m here for you…”, “You do so much for me…”, “You’ve been working so hard…”, “You did that all by yourself?”
Explanation: Reassurance is just as important as genuine compliments.
Men work very hard to please women, almost by pure instinct. Men will sometimes work for free just to help a woman out, and will not expect anything in return.
But the polite thing to do is to thank him for his efforts and show him how much his work is appreciated.
It’s basically the same thing that drives dogs, isn’t it? Your dog is enthusiastic to play and become your best friend and protector. But a dog thrives off positive energy and rewards for being a good boy. If a person ignores a dog or chains him up, then that poor animal loses that fun loving spirit.
Well, I always like to say that men are like dogs in the best way possible. (I love dogs and I am a man, so I see no reason to take offense!) Men give, and give, and give to the women they love.
And all they need in return is genuine appreciation.
And the more specific your thanks, the better. Men don’t want to just be appreciated for their peripheral qualities, or their personality. They also want to be recognized for their EFFORT. What did they do for you and how hard did they work?
Did you notice what he did? Then mention that, and say how impressed you are that he went above and beyond what you expected. Giving a man a sincere compliment based on his performance is like a loving pet to the belly. Keep him happy and he will continue to give you his very best.
One big issue in relationships that causes a lot of conflict is when a man gives too much of himself and feels taken for granted by his partner. Much conflict can be avoided if the woman understands her man’s “love language”, and realizes that his monumental efforts are his way of showing love.
Showing appreciation therefore, and responding in HIS preferred love language, is the best way to let him know that you do appreciate him - and to make that clear before he feels undervalued.
So far then we have discussed three desires. A man needs:
1. Respect (For his masculine qualities)
2. Appreciation (For his unique Qualities)
3. Reassurance (For the effort he puts forth)
Now let’s move onto to discuss some more mysterious desires that a man has, and
Variants: “You’re right…”, “I agree with you…”, “I believe in you…”, “I understand…”, “You have good instincts…”, “I know what you’re saying…”
A man wants to feel empowered, in control, and trusted.
This is a concept that’s oftentime misunderstood in relationships. Yes, a woman should respect and trust her husband above everyone else. But that doesn’t mean that he should be controlling, dominant, or entitled to do as he pleases.
By the same logic, a woman shouldn’t belittle, ridicule, disrespect, or question her husband’s abilities - especially in front of other people.
That doesn’t mean she has to be a pushover or a subservient wife - none of that stuff.
It simply means that if you are attracted to a guy because of his outstanding qualities and expertise on various matters, then he’s deserving of your respect. So try to let him shine whenever possible.
Sometimes you do have to trust him, especially if he’s convinced that he wants to do something in a particular way. Like, let’s say repairing a home appliance. Let him do it, and prove it to himself.
It doesn’t accomplish anything if you constantly second guess him, criticize him, or ask him to give up and let someone else handle it. Sticking with your guy, and staying on the same “team”, is what will impress him.
He’ll notice when you put trust in him, and take his side over the side of other people. You can do this in small and subtle ways, like “I know what you’re saying!” when he’s trying to explain something complicated, or even in taking his side in an argument, if you know his heart is in the right place.
It might be easy to agree with your girlfriends or family members over the opinion of your man. But are you at least seeing things from his point of view? Saying “I understand why you feel that way,” or “You’re right and I agree…” shows that you trust him and want to follow him.
It’s especially important to be empathetic in times of conflict. He may be in the wrong, and you shouldn’t lie just to gain favor with him.
But do you still show him respect and trust in everything you do? Do you still believe in him as a leader and a husband?
Do you still let him lead his own life and do his own thing when he feels passionately about something?
If a major conflict arises, you may need to show respect to him and his principles, while still disagreeing with his argument. In this case, it’s very important to use the right words and feminine phrases to de-escalate the conflict. Don’t try to control him, but remain true to your own values. As long as you let him know you’re always on his side, and are on the same team, he will feel loved.
Variants: “You are free to…”, “Go be with your friends…”, “If you want to…”, “If you feel like…”, “That sounds fun…”,
Explanation: A man wants to feel “Free” even though he also wants commitment.
By the same logic, it’s important that a man feel in control of his own life AND free to come and go as he pleases.
The idea of your partner leaving and doing things independently of you may worry you. But then it all relates back to trust. Do you trust him to stay faithful and to always act in your best interest?
Or is the relationship only good when you can control him, limit his movements, and keep him on a tight schedule? That’s the kind of dynamic that pushes a man away.
Deep down, every man wants to feel free. He wants to feel like he can up and go whenever he wants and go exploring. He may want you to tag along or he may want to go alone.
It takes strength on your part to let him go and be his independent self. But remember, this is the man you respect and trust. If he’s going to do something stupid as soon as he gets a moment away from you, the relationship was built on nothing.
But if you trust his judgment, his motivations, and his character, you should have no problem letting him be free. His free-loving and independent personality was one of the things that first attracted you to him!
So use language like, “You can go…(do whatever it is you’re thinking of asking me)” or “If you want to…(take a trip to see your family, I can tag along or you can go alone.”
This is the type of confident spirit that men love about empowered women. She doesn’t “need a man” 24-7, nor does she want to limit his life in any way. She is happier when he is happier and the gift of independence really is necessary to have a balanced relationship.
Variants: “I always get along with guys who…”, “It takes a special guy to get my attention…”, “I saw that you were a [career] and was intrigued…”, “You’re probably going to get annoyed at me because…”
Explanation: Qualify a guy to remind him that you are high value and you’re worth the chase.
Consider this step “qualifying” the guy you’re interested in by showing how high-value you are, and how many guys you have to “filter out” because they’re just all wrong for you.
Not only does this get his attention, but it reminds him that you have high standards. You don’t settle for just anybody. But he has already passed the first test and you’ve prequalified him as someone interesting and worthy of your time.
The guy feels special. He instantly knows what your standards are. And the more you talk about your life and exude all this positivity, he instantly realizes just how high value woman you are - especially compared to the “average girl.”
You’re extremely selective in general, and yet you see something very special in him. What an ego boost! And he will be intrigued to know why he’s made it to the top of the list.
You can even reverse the process by DIS-qualifying him and saying something like, “You’re probably going to get annoyed at me because I like to chat on the phone for hours…” which is actually previewing something you want from him.
Most guys will rise to the “bait” and say, “Hey I like that!” And in essence saying, “I am qualified to be with you!”
It’s a quick way to establish your value, pique his curiosity, and talk about your relationship “deal breaker” right up front. Brilliant line!
In summary we’ve learned some new desires that men have…
1. I need a supportive partner
2. I need freedom and independence
3. I need a woman of HIGH value
Now let’s move on to discuss some more mysterious desires that a man has, and
Variants: “I’ve never been so turned on…”, “I love how you…”, “How are you so good at this…”, “It’s so hot the way you…”, “My fantasy is for you to…”, “Guess what I’m wearing?”
Explanation: Sex is a physical form of bonding. He must see that you both want it just as much.
Understanding that, to a man, sex is bonding, is an important part of learning his ego. Making him wait for sex will only build his desire for real intimacy, both physical and eventually emotional. He learns that you’re not an easy woman just looking for sex. You want love and you want real communication. He has to work to earn your trust.
So when you actually reach that point where he falls for you, and you’re ready to take the next step into physical intimacy, it’s important to maintain a positive state of mind and not give off neutral or negative vibes.
A sex-positive relationship means that you match his level of enthusiasm. Sex is bonding and you both desire to bond and to get even closer than you are now.
That means that when you’re ready, you’re not only willing and able…
You’re excited about it. You want to get off just like he does. You initiate and you’re just as interested in your pleasure as you are in his.
A man doesn’t just want sex. He wants to feel good about himself. About his body, his sexual prowess, and his ability to please you.
Waiting for him to please you is neutral energy. Complaining, or staying too strictly vanilla, is negative energy.
Positive energy is you embracing your desire, as well as his, and initiating more sex talk, more action, and more experimentation.
Give him compliments. Talk about how much you like his body and how wild he makes you when he does “that thing.” (Whatever your mutual kink is!)
Sex can be very awkward, especially if both partners are worried about doing it right.
A man’s biggest fear is that he can’t satisfy you sexually, so make it easier on him by telling him what he needs to do to be your “best lover ever.” Guide him through the process with genuine praise for what he does right.
Don’t fake it. Find out how you both can mutually please each other, by talking things over in advance and communicating what you like.
If you want him to do something differently than he’s doing, suggest your kinky idea and then give him praise when he does it right. Teach him how to pleasure you and you will create a steaming hot sex life that he cannot walk away from.
Feel free to take a more “male energy” when it comes to initiating sex because every survey ever conducted on sexual appetite concluded that men love it when their partner makes the first move!
In essence, you’re saying “Come here…” (Initiate), “Do this…” (Show him how to please you) and “Wow! You know just how to turn me on!” (A little ego petting)
Variants: “I answered your question, didn’t I?”, “I’m a mysterious that way…”, “You never asked…”, “What do you want from me?”, “I don’t know how I feel about you but…”
Explanation: Men do want a challenge, but they want a challenge they can win!
After sex is when a man may lose interest. This happens for one of four major reasons:
● The sex was too neutral or negative
● He didn’t fall for you before sex happened
● You both stopped trying to bond deeper
● You stopped challenging him
The “fascination” stage is the most addictive part of dating, It’s also the most difficult part to master, especially if the guy is rich, or experienced in dating, or commitment-phobic in general.
You have to make sure he’s fascinated with you, beyond sex and beyond dating.
That requires a combination of bringing out his physical, intellectual, and emotional desire for you. When you’re both fascinated by each other, you don’t want things to end. There are never enough questions or answers. You’re so attracted to each other that he actually does the unthinkable.
He’s willing to focus all his attention on you, and pursuing you, in hopes of getting a commitment.
That means you don’t wait for him, you don’t encourage him to talk about a wedding date. He does it all, because he has the spark. He has the desire to put a ring on you and figure out this mystery, this conundrum, that he can’t solve.
So how do you become a challenge?
The easiest way to explain it is to say, “You don’t know me.” It’s not just a phrase, but more of a mantra. The secret to making a man obsessed with you is to be mysterious and NOT reveal your secret motivations too soon. (Or ever?)
A man may enjoy a simple game of chasing a girl who’s playing hard to get…
But I’ll tell you what he enjoys more. Trying to figure out a mysterious and exotic woman that keeps her secrets. In her case, she’s not playing. She really is a mystery because she’s complicated and it takes a lot of effort on his part to know the REAL HER.
If you suspect a guy will lose interest after he learns everything about you, then don’t volunteer that information. Don’t guide him through the dating process. Resist the idea of committing to him, because he really needs to FEEL that he wants a commitment from you first.
Reward his efforts with little tidbits like, “I don’t know how I feel about you…but I think about you all the time. I feel a strong attraction I can’t explain.” You’ve really shared nothing with that statement, but you sure got him addicted to you!
Projecting an aura of mystery and challenge is simply knowing how a man thinks and then not giving him any hints as to what you’re thinking.
It’s such a simple life lesson and a lot of women don’t get it. Don’t be too available. Don’t let him cheat his way to an easy relationship with you. Don’t give in, if you sense he REALLY ENJOYS the chase.
Ah, now it’s starting to make sense. The chase never ends…and that’s why sometimes it lasts a lifetime.
Variants: “Can you keep a secret?”, “I’ve never felt this way before…”, “Sometimes I think about you and…”, “Growing up I used to think…”, “I don’t know but…”
Explanation: Being vulnerable with each other is better than sex. This is the most important test of chemistry!
Opening up to each other is literally the make or break moment of a relationship. If one or both of you shuts down, emotional intimacy is lost. If there’s a lack of respect or a lack of interest, the chemistry disappears and it’s back to square one.
But if you began to bond emotionally, you’re finally reaching that new threshold. You’re trusting each other. You’re empathizing with each other. You’re becoming vulnerable in his presence, (after all that flirting and mystery!) and he’s becoming vulnerable in yours.
That’s when love starts to develop. You understand each other on a deeper level. You know his story now. You know how he thinks and feels. You’re learning him and he’s learning you. To learn someone on such an intimate level is to love them.
And all it takes is just a phrase as simple as “I’ve never told anyone this but…”
Or any variation of “I am trusting you with this personal piece of information.”
You should never use it too soon. Like I said, men do enjoy a long wait and a long challenge.
But once he works his butt off trying to impress you and woo you and chase you…
That’s when you can test the chemistry and see how vulnerable he is. Share a little bit about yourself and see how he responds. Does he start sharing personal feelings and stories too?
Most guys are not emotionally open by nature. They guard their secrets and they guard their heart. So when a guy does open up to you, take that milestone seriously. This is the beginning of the real relationship, beyond sex and attraction.
Create a sense of emotional safety when the two of you chat. He needs to feel like he can tell you ANYTHING without judgment. His feelings, thoughts, even his basest desires. You don’t reject anything he says. You just listen. Even if he has something negative to tell you, you can help him feel safe. Listen and offer support.
Protect his heart and let him know he will always feel safe when he’s with you - the woman who loves him the most!
Variants: “When I’m with you, I always think…”, “When we’re together I feel like…”,
Explanation: Ultimately, you want to remind a guy just how much he makes you FEEL.
Sometimes a man has an instinct to “save you”, or to be a hero. We discussed that already. But even more importantly, a man really wants to know that he has the ability to make you FEEL.
The test of chemistry, to the male mind, is just how heavily his emotions are involved in a relationship.
Empty sex? No emotion, neutral reaction.
Relationship with grief, fighting, and drama? Negative emotion, abandon ship!
So what ELSE do you make him feel? Ask yourself that.
And in the meantime, remind him that when he’s with you, not only does he feels something deep and profound, but he also makes you feel something powerful.
That’s evidence that this relationship is working - that he DOES affect you. The chemistry is real. Emotions are involved.
And it’s not manipulative or negative or even neutral emotions. Instead, it’s positive, fun-loving, and romantic emotion - the kind of emotions that define real love.
When you use phrases like “You make me feel…” you can say anything, as long as it’s positive.
You can make it sexual (You make me so hot) or romantic (You can always know just how make me smile!)
You can appeal to his need for friendship (You make me feel safe), or his need to be a hero (You always cheer me up, you always know how to make me laugh), or even his need to find a soul mate. (You make me so happy and I am so lucky to have you!).
In essence, you’re reminding him that he has a powerful effect on you.
This is the positive, feminine version of chasing. Not begging, not desperate for attention. Rather, just passing on reminders.
He has the ability to make you feel passion and love. What is he going to do with it?
The ball is in his court now. And once he realizes that he loves you, he does the chasing.
Now do you understand how powerful the “You make me feel” phrase is?
Even something as subtle as changing your tone of voice and facial expression when you first see him is sending a strong message.
He affects you in the most positive and fun way. That’s your energy together. That’s the kind of home he wants to come home to.
In summary, we found out some more complicated desires among men:
1. I want a woman that matches my (high) sex drive
2. I want to find someone that challenges me in fun ways
3. I want to share EVERYTHING with her and feel safe
4. I want to FEEL alive in this relationship!
And just one more phrase for the road…
Variant: Hey kitty, hey schmoopy, hey money, hey manly-man, hey lover boy, hey sexy, hey Mr. Hot Pants (you get the idea)
Explanation: Using cutesy and silly pet names helps bond you together.
Terms of endearment are also great reminders that you and your man share a special and intimate connection. It’s like a private joke between the two of you and instantly separates the two of you from everyone else.
This is your special relationship. This is your privilege and your secret. It reinforces physical acts of affection, reminding him that your bond is unique and this is a once-in-a-lifetime connection you don’t take for granted.
Even if you haven’t slept together yet, giving him a funny nickname will make him smile. He’s earned your affection. You’re enjoying some boyfriend-girlfriend privileges and he’s getting a preview of what the future relationship might be like.
That’s the power of the pet name!
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