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How to Start a Conversation with a Guy On Text (3 Ways He’ll Love)

There’s nothing worse than waiting for your crush to text you. You’re either watching your phone like a hawk, waiting for it to light up, or you’re swiping through apps in hopes that his name will pop up at the top of the screen so you can chat away. But it doesn’t have to be like this, why not make the first move? Classic flirty conversation starters are a great way to reel him in and encourage the opportunity for a fun back-and-forth session.

But where do you begin? How to start a conversation with a guy on text?

How to Text Your Crush

Make sure the conversation flows naturally with logical segues into new conversations. Don’t force it. When in doubt, say goodbye and just text him a couple days later with a new topic in mind.

Understanding how to start a conversation over text can be the most intimidating thing! Not only are you the one making the first move (which some women really don’t like to do at all) but you also have the added pressure of trying to think of something interesting to say. That’s where the awkwardness really becomes killer.

If I text him he’s going to know I like him! What should I say to let him know I like without being too weird?

And then you finally come up with something and hit that send button and then the panic sets in!

Oh no, he just read it… and he’s not saying anything back! What do I do?!

Well first off, blame Facebook for creating that awful “Seen Friday 8:37 PM” message. I mean, our lives were just fine and dandy before we learned that our friends and family and crushes sometimes just IGNORE us for hours on end! I mean that’s way more information than we needed to know!

But that said, let’s put your worst fears to rest right now. Chances are, he’s not thinking anything negative about you at all. He’s probably just thinking, “What is she talking about?” And going about his regular routine.

People usually don’t hyperfocus on stuff we say, especially if we say something only mildly dorky or moderately weird. That’s just normal. Everybody has bad days, everyone tells lame jokes, and sometimes the humor gets lost in translation.

So first thing’s first, stop freaking out about it! Even if you said something you wish you could take back, it’s probably not going to affect your crush at all. What you do need to do right now is back away just a little bit and stop responding impulsively and adding fuel to the fire. At this point, the best way to start a convo with a guy begins with taking a break, relaxing and refocusing on how to text your crush.

Here’s How to Start a Conversation with a Guy on Text

Don’t worry about the mistakes made during your first attempt. Instead, remember these tips on how to start a conversation with a guy over text

1. Approach him as a friend

If the idea of you hitting on him is psyching you out, then stop thinking of it in a dating context. Tell yourself, this is not a date! The best way to start a convo with a guy is by treating him as if he’s just a friend. Someone who knows him has respect for him and knows just a little bit about him. He should have no objection to the two of you talking as friends.

Maybe you’re wondering, “Doesn’t every guy think about having sex with all of his female friends?” (and so doesn’t this mean we’re not just talking but secretly dating?”)

The truth is no one actually knows what a man is thinking. He may be attracted to you and thinking, “Hey a pretty girl likes me! How you doin’?” or he may in fact be totally oblivious. Believe it or not, some guys just get preoccupied with other things at times and actually don’t always associate a woman talking to them with sex.

But let’s say for the sake of argument, he is physically attracted to you. Still, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything important, nor is it going to affect this “platonic” conversation. Most guys just think, “Hey a pretty girl is talking to me!” but then follow up those thoughts with something more down to earth, like, “Wonder what she wants?” or “Probably just needs a favor.”

In other words, the fleeting idea of “Is this a date?” doesn’t last very long. The guy is eventually just going to chill and ask what’s up, and then you can queue up one of your flirty conversation starters.

2. Always have a point to the conversation

Texting has given us the unfortunate side effect of empty conversation. “Hey” and “MoF” and “SCNR!” are not really saying anything of value and yet many people still seem to use these phrases just to “say something” and grab the attention of the other person.

Bad idea!

How to start a conversation with a guy on text that you like should always have a point. It should be about something, specific and limited in time span.

Simply knowing what you want to talk about, conversing intelligently, and then getting out of that strange awkward but wonderful conversation ASAP is going to help you avoid saying weird or confusing things.

Even if you are just sticking to “safe” conversations (like “what are you doing?”) it’s best to start with a question or a statement and not just a worthless phrase like “Hi” which puts all the pressure on the guy to think of something to say.

Have something specific in mind and once you explore that topic FULLY, then it’s time to end this text.

This doesn’t mean you have to rush through the conversation. But it does mean that as soon as you receive the answer you were looking for and the conversation seems to be winding down, you end it. Leave him wanting more.

3. Make this conversation all about him. Get him to text his thoughts and opinions and encourage him to keep texting

There is one easy way to get a man to talk, even if he is the strong silent type (which a lot of men are). The best way to start a convo with a guy is to ask open-ended questions about subjects he’s interested in. So if you want this conversation to be a comfortable length, not too rushed or awkward, and to be lots of fun, then your objective is to encourage him to relax and start texting you answers based on your interesting questions.

Your questions get a lot more interesting to him if they’re about him—what he’s doing, how he’s doing in his hobby or career, and so on. It’s also a smart idea to continue the conversation you were having when you last spoke in person, rather than awkwardly forcing a conversation of your own choosing that he might not have any interest in.

The best way to have a natural dialog is to follow the flow of the conversation. Start talking about things you both already have in common and then progress forward into a new topic when he brings it up, or when you can think of a way to connect it to the previous conversation.

For example, “Speaking of movies, you said last time that you were going to see Star Wars. So what did you think? You see? Natural, not awkward. Makes you appear confident and a good conversationalist.

As we’ve discussed, you don’t really need a lot of heavy artillery just to understand how to start a conversation with your crush on text. Remember: be a cool friend, talk about something specific (and don’t keep chatting so long that he gets bored) and ask open-ended questions about topics you both have in common.

Now the next part is where it gets tricky. Once you know how to start a conversation with a guy you like, how do you keep him talking and get him to like you through texting? That will be the focus of our next article.

Text him this to trigger his desire to chase you

Did you know that you can trigger a man’s hormones through your text messages?

It’s true. How you communicate with a man can actually release different hormones in his body.

One of the most important ones is testosterone because that’s what makes him CHASE you, pursue you, and invest in you so that he gets “hooked” and desires something more with you.

Want to trigger this in your man?

Click here to learn more

Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. You can actually trigger a “cocktail of emotions” inside a man that makes him feel like he can’t get you out of his mind and even feel addicted to you, if you text him a certain way.

Click here to learn more







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