There’s nothing worse than waiting for a guy to text you after you start a text conversation with him. You’re either watching your phone like a hawk, waiting for it to light up with a text notification, or you’re swiping through apps in hopes that the name of the guy will pop up at the top of the screen so you can start to chat away. But text conversations don’t have to be like this, why not make the first move to begin a text conversation? Classic flirty conversation starters are a great way to reel a guy in and encourage the opportunity for a fun back-and-forth text conversation.
But where do you start the text conversation? How to start a conversation with a guy on text?
How to Text Your Crush
Make sure the conversation flows naturally with logical segues into new conversations over text. Don’t force the conversation. When in doubt, say goodbye and just text the guy a couple days later with a new, fun topic in mind.
Understanding how to start a conversation with a guy over text can be the most intimidating thing! Not only are you the one making the first move (which some women really don’t like to do at all) but you also have the added pressure of trying to think of something interesting to say or ask during the conversation. That’s where the awkwardness when you start a conversation really becomes killer.
“If I text him he’s going to know I like him! What should I say or ask to let him know I like without being too weird?”
And then you finally come up with a text conversation starter and hit that send button and then the panic sets in!
“Oh no, he just read the text… and he’s not saying anything back! What do I do?!”
Well first off, blame Facebook for creating that awful “Seen Friday 8:37 PM” message on your text thread. I mean, our lives were just fine and dandy before we learned that our friends and family and guys sometimes just IGNORE us and our texts for hours on end! I mean that’s way more information than we needed to know about the guy!
But that said, let’s put your worst fears about text conversations to rest right now. Chances are, he’s not thinking anything negative about you or the conversation at all. The guy is probably just thinking, “What is she talking about?” And going about his regular routine.
People usually don’t hyperfocus on conversations, questions, or stuff we say, especially if we say something only mildly dorky or moderately weird in a text. That’s just normal. Everybody has bad days, everyone tells lame jokes, will ask dumb questions, and sometimes the humor gets lost in text translation.
So first thing’s first, please stop freaking out about the text and the conversation! Even if you said something you wish you could take back, it’s probably not going to affect the guy at all. What you do need to do right now is back away just a little bit and stop responding impulsively in the conversation and adding fuel to the text message fire. At this point, the best way to start a conversation with a guy begins with taking a break, relaxing, and refocusing on how to text your crush. Have confidence that you can start a fun conversation over text that the guy will want to engage in.
Here’s How to Start a Conversation with a Guy Over Text
Don’t worry about the mistakes made during your first attempt to text your guy Instead, remember these expert tips on how to start a conversation with a guy over text, have a fun conversation, and how to keep the conversation going with a guy
1. Approach him as a friend when texting
If the idea of you hitting on him over text is psyching you out, then stop thinking about the conversation in a dating context. Tell yourself, this text is not a date! The best way to start a conversation with a guy is by treating him as if he’s just a friend and not a dating option. Someone who knows the guy has respect for him and knows just a little bit about him. The guy should have no objection to the two of you talking as friends.
Maybe you’re wondering, “Doesn’t every guy think about having sex with all of his female friends?” (and so doesn’t this mean we’re not just talking but secretly dating?”)
The truth is no one actually knows what guys are thinking. He may be attracted to you and thinking, “Hey a pretty girl likes me! How you doin’?” or the guy may in fact be totally oblivious to the idea of dating. Believe it or not, some guys just get preoccupied with other things at times and actually don’t always associate a woman talking to them with dating and sex.
But let’s say for the sake of argument, the guy is physically attracted to you. Still, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything important, nor is it going to affect this “platonic” text conversation. Most guys just think, “Hey a pretty girl is talking to me!” but then follow up those thoughts with something more down to earth, like, “Wonder what she wants?” or “Probably just needs a favor.”
In other words, the fleeting idea of “Is this a date?” doesn’t last very long for a guy. The guy is eventually just going to chill and ask what’s up, and then you can queue up one of your flirty, fun questions to start the conversation.
2. Always have a point to the text conversation
Texting has given us the unfortunate side effect of empty conversation. “Hey” and “MoF” and “SCNR!” are not really saying anything of value in a conversation and yet many people still seem to use these phrases just to “say something” and grab the attention of the other person they are trying to have a text conversation with.
Bad idea when you are trying to start a conversation with a guy!
When you start conversations with a guy on text that you like, you should always have a point to the conversation. The text conversation should be about something, specific, fun, and limited in time span.
Simply knowing what you want to talk about, conversing intelligently, and then getting out of that strange awkward but wonderful conversation ASAP is going to help you avoid saying weird or confusing things over text.
Even if you are just sticking to “safe” conversations (like “what are you doing?”) it’s best to start with a question or a statement and not just a worthless phrase like “Hi” which puts all the pressure on the guy to think of something to say or a question to ask.
Have something specific in mind for the conversation and once you explore that topic FULLY, then it’s time to end this text.
This doesn’t mean you have to rush through the conversation or try to get it over with. But it does mean that as soon as you receive the answer you were looking for and the conversation seems to be winding down, you end the text thread. Leave the guy wanting more after the conversation.
3. Make this conversation all about him. Get him to text his thoughts and opinions and encourage him to keep texting
There is one easy way to get a guy to talk, even if he is the strong silent type (which a lot of men are). The best way to start a convo with a guy is to ask open-ended questions about his favorite subjects. So if you want this conversation to be a comfortable length, not too rushed or awkward, and to be lots of fun, then your objective is to encourage the guy to relax and start texting you answers based on your interesting questions.
Your questions get a lot more interesting to him if they’re about him and his favorite topics—what he’s doing, how he’s doing in his hobby or career, and so on. You could even include an emoji or two in the text. It’s also a smart idea to continue the conversation you were having when you last spoke in person, rather than awkwardly forcing a conversation of your own choosing that he might not have any interest in.
The best way to have a natural text dialog is to follow the flow of the conversation. Start talking about things you both already have in common and then progress forward into a new topic when he brings it up, or when you can think of a way to connect it to the previous conversation.
For example, “Speaking of movies, you said last time that you were going to see Star Wars. So what did you think?“ You see? Natural conversation, not awkward. Makes you appear confident when you text and a good conversationalist.
As we’ve discussed, you don’t really need a lot of heavy artillery just to understand how to start a conversation with your crush on text. Remember that to start texting a guy and have a conversation: be a cool friend, talk about something specific (and don’t keep chatting so long that he gets bored), and ask open-ended questions about favorite topics you both have in common.
Now the next part of the conversation is where it gets tricky. Once you know how to start a conversation with a guy you like, how do you keep him talking and get him to like you through texting? That will be the focus of our next article.
Text him this to trigger his desire to chase you
Did you know that you can trigger a man’s hormones through your text messages when you start a fun conversation?
It’s true. How you communicate with a man can actually release different hormones in his body.
One of the most important ones is testosterone because that’s what makes him CHASE you, pursue you, and invest in you so that he gets “hooked” and desires something more with you.
Want to trigger this in your guy?
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. You can actually trigger a “cocktail of emotions” inside a guy that makes him feel like he can’t get you out of his mind and even feel addicted to you, if you text him a certain way.
