Telling him those three words is a big leap, but what about if you want to do it by text? Should you? Let’s show when you should and shouldn’t!
When we find “the one,” it can be a major risk opening ourselves up to telling him how we feel. And when it comes to saying those three words, there’s so much weight under them. When it comes to messaging someone, you might feel like you want to pour your heart out via text message because this is what you are used to doing in normal conversations with friends, but let’s make sure that if you are feeling the temptation to tell them you love them by text message that it’s all grounded in the right context.
Where Are You in the Relationship?
Telling someone you love them for the first time is incredibly special. It’s similar to proposing to someone and can feel as weighty as telling them that you’ve fallen for them. So many of us feel that we want to tell him how we feel, but we’re scared of not getting the same response back, which is why some people think that sending it via message is a good idea.
Ultimately, you’ve got to feel like you can trust them to the point that you can tell them, but where are you in the relationship? Are you at a point where your dialogue by text is as comfortable as it is in person? You should feel like when you are communicating via text that you are doing it effortlessly.
It could feel like a spur-of-the-moment thing that you are both texting each other in the middle of the night saying you miss each other, and you just want to get it out of your system! But it’s important to remember that men can sometimes be too well, manly, about it all. If you are engaging in an amazing conversation via text, you might want to give them a call instead.
Sending It in the Right Context
You might be having a long-distance relationship and you are only seeing each other on weekends before taking a long bus, train, or plane journey back. These long-distance relationships can be very intense and it can feel just perfect to tell them how you feel about them via text.
In this environment, you may get caught up in the fact that you were just about to tell each other before you separated, much like those romantic airport gate scenarios! It can be ok to do in this context because it was a logical build-up of the feelings bubbling up inside of you, and sending it via message is not a cop-out in this instance as, in fact, it’s probably the right thing to do and felt right at the time.
Laying the Groundwork
It is a very special thing to do, which is why so many people prefer to do it in person. But there are many ways of telling someone that you care for them and how happy you are with them without telling them you love them, especially if you want to save this for being in person.
You can spend a lot of time communicating by message and showing them how important they are to you. You can always send a lovely message that makes them feel warm and fuzzy inside by telling them how excited you get when your phone buzzes, just in case it’s them. Telling them that life feels so amazing with them in it is another way of essentially saying “I love you,” but without actually saying it. Other approaches, such as telling them you wish you were with them right now, an incident that you both laughed at, or an inside joke are great ways to lay the foundations of telling them how you really feel about them.
When it comes to telling them, it’s also as much about the bad things as it is the good. They could be going through such a tough time that you feel like you want to tell them how you feel because this could be the one light in their darkness. Telling them about it in a certain way, for example, “I am here for you if you need me,” or “I canceled my plans tonight, so if you want me there, I will be” are little things that really show them that you are literally giving everything up for them.
Does He Love You Back?
It is a very simple question, but this can open up a lot of debate in yourself. When it comes to deciding if you are in love with someone or just infatuated, you’ve got to think about how long you’ve been dating, how perfect things feel, and if you should keep your feelings to yourself.
Telling them how you feel early on in a relationship can send them running for the hills, and doing it by text message can almost feel like you are setting it in stone because of that digital imprint. You’ve got to see if he makes you a priority, if he mentions you when talking about future plans, if you’ve met the important people in his life, and so forth, but you need to decide why you want to say it.
When it comes to saying “I love you,” it’s because you cannot keep it inside any longer. Saying “I love you” can change your relationship, and this is why you need to be ready for it. If you say “I love you,” you are making yourself vulnerable in every way, even if they say “I love you” back. They may not be ready to say it, so if you do it via text, you have to be prepared that they’re not ready yet for their own reasons or if you could not bear the rejection.
A relationship should naturally come to the point where you both want to say it because you can’t keep it in any longer. Sending “I love you” via text might seem unromantic for some, but for others, it’s the perfect way to do it. If you are wondering about the best ways to do it faster, we have plenty of resources to ensure that you do it right.