It could be the heat of the moment when your man whispers in your ear–or you could be in your cozy sweats, sending flirty texts to him when finally says it: “Tell me what you want.”
You freeze in your tracks. No matter how riled up you are, putting your desires and feelings into words can be intimidating. You don’t want to say anything awkward, nor do you want something that moves things too fast. Maybe, you simply don’t know what to say, at all.
Dirty talk is any kind of speech, written or spoken, that is intended to arouse someone else. Conversations quickly escalate from flirty to sexy the more comfortable you are or if you’re turned on. It’s always fun to hear our partners tell us how much they want us and the things they want to do, but when the spotlight turns back on us, it’s easy to become a deer in the headlights.
Whether you’re searching for dirty texts to send to your boyfriend or key phrases to get the ball rolling for that special moment, make it honest. Googling what to say will come across as robotic or unlike you. Your man doesn’t want an A.I. fembot—he wants you. When you feel empowered in your sexuality, you will find your voice and curate the perfect bedroom talk that represents your desires to your boyfriend.
Tips to Embracing Your Femininity in Dirty Talk
Partners want to enjoy dirty talk when there is distance between them. Physical distance and absence make the heart grow fonder. If you want to dirty text your long-distance boyfriend, here are tips that will work if you’re thousands of miles apart or just inches away.
It Doesn’t Have to Be Sexual
Take the pressure off yourself and reflect on why dirty talk is special and the purpose it serves. It’s simply a way to keep your relationship exciting, build intrigue, and communicate your desires to your partner. You are missing the point if you think, “Oh, I’m not a bad girl” or “If I’m not really kinky, he’ll get bored.”
Start small and focus on building anticipation. You don’t need to push yourself out of your comfort zone or pretend to be someone you aren’t. Start with small compliments with a flirty emoji or a coy smirk.
“I love that shirt on you. It really shows off your strong shoulders.”
“I have a little surprise for you tonight that I think you’ll like.”
These phrases are not inherently sexual, but they will make him feel wanted and intrigued. If you start every conversation like you’re reading the middle of a raunchy romance novel, dirty talk loses its element of surprise. Flirtation is not what we reveal, it’s what we imply.
Embrace Your Power
If you feel shy or embarrassed about dirty talk, investigate that. This man adores you and is turned on by you. Confidence is sexy in and of itself. When you shrink like a wallflower in the face of intimacy, you’re denying yourself that enjoyment.
Dirty talk should be unique to you and your partner. There is no wrong way to do it if you’re being true to yourself. Remember that your boyfriend wants confirmation that you crave him just as much as he craves you.
Dirty talk can open the door to deeper communication with your partner. When you’re in the early stages of a relationship, you’re both still feeling out each other’s limits and secret fantasies. If you start the conversation with “Can I tell you something? Promise not to judge me!” he will be immediately captivated.
Don’t worry about the conversation being sexy when you open up and share those kinks or fantasies you have. The intention first and foremost is communication and feeling closer to one another, and that means getting naked (metaphorically). Talk about things you would like to try together and get a sense of the other’s comfort level. Knowing what you both like can give you fuel for your next dirty-texting session.
Long Story Short
As cliche as it sounds, open communication continues to be the answer to relationship questions. When you take the pressure off yourself, feel confident in yourself, and are vulnerable with your partner, you will come up with dirty talk that is personal to you—and isn’t that the sexiest?
Commitment Connection helps women everywhere embrace their power and feel confident when navigating the dating world. If you’re ready to level up your love life, check out our other articles and reach out to one of our experts.