Unfortunately, not all relationships stand the test of time. It can be difficult to muster the courage to move on, especially if you’ve invested a lot emotionally or if the breakup was unexpected. Having deep-rooted feelings for your ex can make it even more difficult to figure out how to get over someone you’ve loved for years and get on with your life.
Here are some things I’ve found that really help the process of getting over someone whom you’ve loved for a long time:
Accept Things as They are
Truly accepting that things won’t work out between the two of you is the first step in the healing process. Acceptance applies regardless of who was at fault. Why do men pull away? The primary reason is fear of commitment. Once you accept things as they are, you can then focus on improving yourself and get ready for a new relationship. However, it would be best to give yourself adequate time to heal instead of rushing into a new relationship.
Seek Help
Sometimes, breakups are messy and leave you feeling angry or depressed. Don’t be shy about sharing your feelings with your loved ones or with a professional mental health provider if you are really struggling. Talking things out can help you heal more quickly and help you appreciate things that are working in your life instead of focusing only on the breakup.
Stimulate Your Mind and Body
One of the most effective ways of dealing with negative emotions, including those from a breakup, is to do something you love–especially when it comes to physical activity. Sitting idly is not a way to cope, as this gives you too much time to think about your present predicament.
Don’t be afraid to break out of your comfort zone and try out some new activities. For example, if you’ve always liked staying in shape, why not try out pilates or yoga? Being active will help you more easily release the emotional baggage of a breakup. Moreover, you may end up meeting new interesting people in an exercise class who may end up becoming friends–or more!
Don’t Blame Yourself
While it’s healthy to take ownership of your part in the failed relationship, blaming yourself doesn’t help with the situation. It’s important to speak positively about yourself and not to forget to look after your emotional, spiritual, and physical needs.
By taking deliberate steps to move on with your relationship, you’re setting yourself up for success in future relationships. In the meantime, you will learn how to handle being dumped with dignity.
Be Enthusiastic About What the Future Holds
Focus on looking forward to what’s in the future instead of being stuck in the past. Letting go of your failed relationship and looking forward will help you become a better partner in the future. Go out more and create new memories instead of reminiscing about the good times you had with your now-ex partner–and stop thinking about how to get him back after he has moved on.
Take Time off Social Media
If you follow your ex on social media, logging in and seeing his posts can do more harm than good. It can be a painful reminder of what could have been and detrimental to your healing–so either take a break or remove him completely from your socials.
Clear Out Anything That Reminds you of Him
For example, do you have pictures or items in your house that remind you of your ex? Maybe it’s time to clear them out. Having items that remind you of him will prevent you from moving on. Moreover, you should consider moving out if the home you currently reside in constantly reminds you too strongly of the past.
Final Thoughts
No matter how good of a person you are, breakups are inevitable. Healing begins with recognizing the situation and taking the necessary steps to get over the pain, anger, or resentment you feel. You should also consider reaching out to your friends, family, or a trained medical professional such as a psychologist to kickstart the healing process.
