Losing someone you love can shake your whole world, especially if you’ve given your all to make the relationship work. In this article, I’m going to provide some tips that I have practiced in my dating life that have worked for me–I have first-hand experience of how much of an uphill task it can be to win a man back, and there are times I’ve begged and pleaded for someone to come back. I’ve realized this doesn’t work.
It’s still possible to get back with your lover, but you must be strategic. One of my philosophies is to never give up on whatever I set out to do, and I apply the same principle to my relationships. I’ve received lots of advice from couples and read many books on relationships, and I’m here to tell you how to get a man back and how to keep high value when a man pulls away.
Give Yourself Adequate Time
The relationship won’t work if you haven’t given yourself time to heal from your past hurt and recollect your emotions. Constantly putting yourself down doesn’t serve anyone; the best thing you can do is work on yourself to ensure you’re ready for the next phase of your relationship. You also need to understand why men pull away, and the root cause was of everything not working out between you.
If you want him back, you need to change your perspective and learn to think positively. Take time to go out with your friends and do things that make you happy. Finding contentment on your own is key to a happy life, but it can also make you more attractive to someone you want back.
Avoid Being Desperate
Part of living well is not relying on a man—even one you love and recently separated from—for happiness. It’s possible that your ex hasn’t yet moved on, but clinging to him out of a sense of need doesn’t benefit either of you. I have felt my share of desperation in my past relationships–there were times I felt obligated to call or text a partner, but I’ve learned that you can’t force anyone to be in a relationship with you. All you can do is give it time, be yourself, and hope for the best.
Make Some Space
When you’re not depending on someone else for your happiness, you’ll talk to them less–and that’s okay! Reframing your communication dynamics so that you find your own joy and rely less on constant back and forth can be good for both of you long term. Do men pull away when they have feelings for you? Sometimes, and if this is the case, you need to allow him time to get in touch with his feelings.
Give yourself a month or so to center yourself, discover who you are without your ex, and decide what you really want. Then, you’ll be in a better position to have a fruitful conversation. This time frame should also apply to his friends and family—avoid bombarding them immediately with requests to help you get back with your ex or for information on what he’s doing.
Work on Improving Yourself
Taking some time off from your relationship can end up being the best thing for everyone involved. One of the paths to finding your own joy is doing things you love, but also caring for yourself both physically and emotionally.
When you start feeling and looking your best, you’re more likely to get back with an ex, attract someone even better, or find your own happiness elsewhere in the meantime. We’ve all wanted to get an ex back once they’re gone, and with the above strategies, you’ll either make that a reality or realize you’re better off.
