I’ve experienced it myself first-hand—one minute you’re head over heels in love with someone, and the next, things aren’t working out. When your man pulls away all of a sudden or over a certain period, you may find yourself asking questions and blaming yourself. There isn’t one single answer, but in this article, I’ll explain why men might pull away when they still have feelings.
You may not notice it right away when a guy pulls away–it may start with a shrinking number of times you communicate throughout the day or him avoiding you in small ways. In other cases, he may end up not communicating at all. You may still be meeting up, but he seems distracted during your dates or you’re the one who is always initiating conversation. All of this behavior can be draining on you.
Reasons Why a Guy Might Pull Away
If you’re learning how to further your relationship, you need to pay attention to how your partner communicates. You might notice a drastic or slow change in how he communicates, or see your partner often changing plans you made together. When this happens, I find myself wondering if it’s something I might have done wrong. It’s not uncommon to overreact, because after all, we are humans. From my own experience, I’ve found these to be some of the reasons guys tend to pull away:
1. He Is Afraid of His Feelings
I’ve confronted a few men, and some have admitted to being afraid of commitment–this is often the reason why a man might pull away and then come back. You may feel butterflies and excitement when you imagine a future together; he may be feeling the same thing, but is conflicted as it might be the first time he’s been in love. Many men like being in control, and it’s not uncommon for them to feel scared once they encounter feelings they have never experienced before.
2. Communication Is Lacking
Ladies, let’s admit it, opening up is not as easy as it sounds. On one hand, you care deeply about this guy, but on the other, telling someone exactly how you feel requires you to be completely vulnerable. This can lead people to make it seem like their partner isn’t that important to them, and when this happens, I find that most guys tend to pull away because they feel they are unessential and can be replaced. While most guys want an independent thinker, they also want to feel loved and reassured how much they matter.
3. He’s Building His Identity
Most ladies, including myself, love spending time with their partners. The more time you spend together, the stronger the relationship will be. While some guys find it appealing, others need to be given ample time to work on understanding themselves better.
As a lady, you should invest in improving yourself, which can only happen when you take some time for yourself. How you get your man back when he pulls away is through the same method as keeping a current relationship strong—investing energy in self-love and self-improvement. As you grow as a person, you also give your partner time to engage in their interests and build their identity–you’re more likely to have a stronger relationship this way.
Some men pull away because they are afraid of commitment, but don’t always assume that’s the case. Risk being vulnerable and open up a productive dialogue instead of making assumptions; both of you can then come up with ways to resolve the issue together.