For many couples, the threat of not seeing each other for months, or even a year or more, is too much to endure. One or both partners may worry they can’t keep their love strong while apart for so long. But did you know that roleplaying can actually keep your long-term and long-distance relationship intimate and exciting?
As long as you’re communicating and providing for each other’s needs, you don’t have to worry about temptation or love growing cold! In this article, we’re going to walk about how to roleplay online in a sensual and affectionate way with your partner, and also share some ideas on what to try.
How Do I Keep Him Hooked Long-Distance?
The main reason why long-distance relationships fail is that some couples put the relationship on hold, expecting fidelity, without actually investing in the work. They don’t do things as a couple. They don’t grow or even share much of their lives. They don’t connect emotionally or sexually.
So in a long-distance relationship, the most important thing to do is to satisfy his emotional and sexual needs. Emotionally speaking, phone calls, texts, and video conferencing are great tools for helping him open up. Staying in contact and sharing his feelings will improve intimacy.
But what about passion? What about sex and kink? Does it have to wait until the next time you can afford to meet in person? Of course not! Let’s talk about “How can I be kinky in a long-distance relationship” even if you’re separated by states.
Learn How to Start a Roleplay
One of the best ways to keep sexual tension and passion alive is to experiment with roleplaying. While it’s easy to imagine role playing in person, since roleplaying is similar to acting or improv class, it can also be done online through text, a virtual telephone call, or video conferencing.
In fact, you might discover that roleplaying is actually easier online than it is in person, since we experience the whole depersonalization factor by default. Check out this Psychology Today piece on why it’s so much easier to “become someone else” when you’re online.
Use this to your advantage by presenting a more imaginative version of yourself – or more to the point, an alternate sexual identity. The kind of woman you fantasize about being, or the woman he would fantasize about having – that’s the kind of dynamic that will make a long-term relationship exciting and not just an exercise in patience.
When you start out roleplaying, you can do one of two things:
- Decide to talk to him in advance about the “scenario” you want to explore
- OR just start roleplaying through text
Usually, I advise couples to talk about fantasies and new kink activities first, since you don’t want to scare your partner away with “too extreme and too soon.”
But you can use your discretion here. As long as the guy is feeling lusty and is very attracted to you, you can assume any “light” roleplaying text fantasies would tickle his imagination.
If you keep the fantasy simple in the beginning, you can get away with a lot more. Rather than explaining the nuances of the scene (a must in person, but not necessarily over text) just start introducing the fantasy. Inhabit the role and give him the cues to respond to your roleplaying character.
If you keep it simple and light, he is going to be very turned on!
How to Role Play Over Text
Let’s give some examples, not on individual fantasies, but on roleplay texting styles.
1. Start Chatting IRL About RP Scenarios
The easiest way to start roleplay texting is to just approach it objectively and ask your partner for more details about a fantasy – yours or his. Research the kink you’ve both been talking about and then discuss the homework you both did. What did you learn? Does it turn you on to think of your partner in a kinky sexual fantasy that’s not just based on romantic love? Discuss it in detail.
2. Make Your First RP a Comedy
If you and your man are the giggly type, don’t fret. Laughter doesn’t ruin the fantasy. If it helps to be funny or make jokes or share funny memes or GIFs, then go ahead and do it.
3. Start with a Prompt
This is a more creative exercise, but if he’s the creative or poetic type, he can follow along. Decide on a “prompt” together and start texting more details from there. The prompt may be a quote (from a movie or book), or just a very abstract fantasy that you both think is sexy.
4. Mimic Fictional Characters from Books, TV or Movies
If you’re too shy to imagine yourself being kinky or saying kinky things, roleplay as your favorite romantic hero/villain. Imagine what they would say and then let your imagination run wild.
5. Imagine Yourselves in a Strange Setting
What if you were both from a different world? Imagine these alternative versions of yourselves. Take time to describe your alternate universe life and even what clothes you wear.
6. Catch Him Off Guard
Start the RP by pretending it’s just an IRL text chat. Then, suddenly jump into the roleplay scenario. Pretend as if something dramatic (and over the top) has happened and start telling the story. He will figure out soon enough you’re just pretending and will play along.
7. Describe a Fantasy in “The Future”
Present your fantasy scenario as if it’s a reality – which it will be soon, when you’re able to meet in person again! Describe a hot and unpredictable fantasy and pretend as if it’s really going to happen when you meet in person.
8. How to Roleplay Over the Phone
Text should come first. That way you can get used to the idea of roleplaying and fantasy exchange without getting too shy. Once you cross that bridge and start getting really hot through texting, the next step is to talk on the phone (not video yet), and giggle your way through a sexy phone chat of the same fantasy you talked about on text.
It’s OK to laugh or get nervous initially. But the more you practice (texting the scene first, experimenting via text) the more easy phone chat and eventually phone sex will get.
9. How to Roleplay with Photos and Video
Finally, when you’re both very hungry for each other, tease each other even more by sending sexy photos – preferably with details of your initial text fantasy. Did you describe an outfit over text and chat about it on the phone? Send a photo of it next time. Even better, wear it to the next video date. He will be amazed at how you remembered all these sexy details.
20 More Sexy Roleplay Scenarios
Now that we discussed the basics of sexy roleplay strategy, let’s list some sample scenarios to try.
- The evil boss and the submissive employee
- The seductive teacher and the naive student
- The greedy landlord and desperate tenant
- Best friends turned lovers
- Drunk roommates and accidental sex
- Strangers having anonymous sex
- Threesomes or swingers (
- Blackmailer and innocent
- Photographer and sexy underwear model
- Master and slave
- Step parent and bad son/daughter
- Executive and paid sex worker
- Bad Boy and the good girl who can’t resist him (or vice versa)
- Two actors filming an explicit sex scene
- Billionaire playboy and the college girl he loves
- Detective investigating a sexy suspected murderer
- A sexy stalker who won’t take no for an answer
- A notorious gangster seducing a good girl (or vice versa)
- Sexy celebrity and their admirer
- Victorian-age “secret” relationship with a lover
Sample Role Play Scripts for Couples
As you can see, these roleplays can go in any direction you want. You can play with anonymity, dubious consent, fantasy fulfillment, and even using multimedia “in character.”
Just chat naturally, as if the scenario was real. Show him through example how to do the same and how to “stay in character.” He will catch on in no time and follow your lead. Then he will run with it and start adding his own sexy details.
Roleplay With Him Over Long Distance to Build Intimacy
If you’re wondering how can I make him feel special in a long-distance relationship, the answer is in using your imagination and communicating your desire. Don’t let time pass without letting him know how special he is, and how you love exploring these boundaries together.
If you’re the hottest and most imaginative lover he has, even if it’s via text, you’ll be the only woman he’s seriously interested in dating – even if you’re separated by miles!
For more on how to keep a guy interested in LTRs, read my program and learn how to turn a guy on over text!