How to Turn a Guy On Over Text

We’ve talked before about how to turn a guy on when you first meet him and when you go out on dates. It’s a matter of combining mystery, allure and warm body language so that sexual tension can blossom. But as the relationship progresses, one of the best opportunities for flirting and turning a guy on will come from texting each other.

This is the best time to have deep conversations, to discuss sexy topics, and to really tease and test each other in playful ways. But texting is not always the same thing as sexting. And believe it or not, if you come across as too aggressive or too direct, (or even too needy) you can actually turn a guy off and lose all that sexual tension you’ve built.

That’s why it’s important to understand the psychology of dating and texting before you jump into it without a strategy. Make sure you’re both communicating clearly and without accidentally sending red flag signals. Here are five ways to turn a guy on over text and help boost intimacy so that the relationship can grow.

1. Turn him from an acquaintance into a date.

One of the most exciting moments in a relationship is when you make that transition and turn friendly texts into flirting texts. It’s so easy to settle down in a platonic text relationship…but you want to stay clear of that by sending out the strong message: I like you and I like when we text. This can be done by slowly and occasionally working flirty banter into the conversation, whether it’s calling him “handsome” or even saying something bold like, “What’s a nice guy like you doing with a bad ass body like that?”

By teasing him and gauging his reaction, you will know where you stand in the relationship. If he’s expressive when he responds – like sending smiley faces, laughing or teasing you right back – that suggests he’s ready for more. If he seems to take a step back or react negatively, it may be time to slow down the pace and spend more time talking about him—and learning what he likes.

2. Find interesting ways to pique his brain about sexy topics.

Naturally, the first few conversations should be light and fun. But the more you talk, the more you will want to steer the conversation towards fun and sexy topics. It’s definitely what’s on both of your minds and if that’s the case, and if he’s too shy to direct the conversation that way, YOU should do it. You can broach the subject in a sneaky way by asking about his favorite experiences of the past, or with more indirect questions like, “What’s the most turned on you’ve ever been?” Just having the guts to ask him about something embarrassing, or arousing, or shocking is half the fun.

Rather than be too forward and demand you talk about sex, try to be natural. Follow the thread of the current conversation and take it to a sexier place by flirting with him and egging him on to provide more details about private matters. Be curious not dirty-minded. Curiosity always leads to more daring conversations. You know what happened to the curious cat, don’t you?

3. Challenge him by putting the thought of you two together in his head.

Following a topic into dangerous but sexy territory can be as easy as saying, “Have you ever had sex in a public place?” (Part 1) and then (Part 2). “Wow, I would love to do that. I mean, we might be arrested so I hope you have bail money.” Or maybe, “Your ex was into Tantra? So what can you teach a girl about multiple orgasms?”

In both cases, these questions are forcing him to think about you in a sexual way. If he’s interested in you at all, he will follow up on that conversation and maybe even take it farther than before. Men are usually very excited to talk frankly about sex…they just want to know you’re OK with it and won’t judge them for being honest.

4. Let him become your hero.

One of the best ways to get a shy guy to start flirting and to build sexual tension is to let him play the role of your hero. Remember that men love providing for women. So if you give them an opening, or shall we say a strong “hint” that you want a partner, or want someone to hold and be romantic with, he will volunteer to do that for you. Saying something as simple as, “I wish I had someone to go to the movies with.” Or “I’ve been so busy lately I don’t have time for dating…and well, most of the guys around here are married.”

Wait and watch as the guy jumps at the chance to share how he really feels about you! Another effective strategy is to complain about the way your previous “bad date” guy treated you, saying something like “He didn’t even compliment me on my dress” or “He didn’t seem to enjoy his date with me.” This might prompt your crush to be chivalrous and say, “Well if it were me, I would definitely take you out! I think you’re beautiful!”

Guys love to provide and love to show themselves superior to other men. It’s a huge turn on for them and you can start that fire inside by talking a little about your needs.

5. Describe how you feel…and then tell him how you want to feel with his help.

When it comes time for sexting, take it slow. Don’t use up your best words and sentences too soon. Start slow by talking about how you feel, using words like “So turned on right now…” or “I feel so comfortable with you.” Communicating how you feel motivates him to try to keep you talking and expand on those feelings.

As he butters you up and helps you “feel”, your next step is to tell him how you want to feel with his help. Saying something like, “I wish you were here. All I can think about is how your hands would feel gently stroking my shoulders.” Or, turn that visual around and focus on what HE would feel. “If you could do anything naughty to me that you really wanted to, what would you do first?”

As you can see, you’re firing up his imagination, with the thought of suggestion. Be descriptive about what you feel and what you want to feel. Then turn the attention to what he feels. The same principle is repeated later on, when you get into the sexual realm and you make the switch to sexual feelings, this time adding explicit action to the mix.

Don’t worry, we’ll devote more articles to sexual texting later on. But try to remember these steps in turning a guy on with texting conversations. You can further develop sexual tension through texting and actually feel instantly closer together the next time the two of you meet.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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