Twin Flame Stages

To be honest, I love metaphysical speculation! Horoscopes, twin flames, soul mates, it’s all good. No one really knows for sure but everyone has a strong opinion. What if you and your true love are destined to be together? What if you keep “finding each other” in each new life? It’s fun to think about.

Of course, one of the first things you ask as you read about twin flames is “What’s the difference between a twin flame and a soul mate? The soul mate is what you’ve heard about all your life, the romantic cliche you’ve read about in movies and books – the one that completes you.

The Twin Flame relationship actually has a more reality-based approached to love because this is a very intense relationship that isn’t perfect, has conflict, but still ends with a love that is eternal. Your “twin flame” is a divine union with a purpose and the two of you are actually “twin souls”, your other half. People only have one twin soul.

Imagine how intense it is when you meet your other half! It’s both hot and cold. You go through very intense stages in the relationship, including conflict. The reason is not necessarily that it’s a dysfunctional relationship (although that can happen) – but rather you feel SO close to him, and the love is so intense, sometimes it brings out negative energy. The difference between soul mates and twin flames is that soul mates mirror you, reflect you, and bring out the best in you. Twin flame partners ARE you in a sense and this creates conflict, negativity and eventually positivity, but usually over time. Twin flames start with a rocky beginning. Soon though, the intense closeness of the relationship creates a strong commitment. You will love him more intensely than you love anyone else but it will not always be easy to live with that relationship.

Some speculate that twin flames come into your life for a purpose. They wake you up, they prepare you, they help you grow. By comparison, the soul mate gives you more comfort. They understand you, they help you work on yourself. The twin flame is a learning experience. Very often you come together then break up then come together again later after you’ve grown and started a new life.

What might help you understand the dynamic of a twin flame relationship (and help you determine if that’s happening in your current relationship) is to consider each of the “stages”. Let’s review one at a time.

1. You desire to be united with him.
In the first stage, you desire to meet him, to know him and find this mysterious stranger that you know is out there. What’s noteworthy about this stage is that you have a feeling you ARE going to meet the one. You spend the first stage preparing yourself to meet your twin flame and it’s usually an unconscious process.

2. You will get a preview of your twin flame.
Next, you will get a glimpse of this mysterious stranger either in a dream, or a chance meeting, or something else seemingly coincidental – but that feels a little too good to be true. The feelings you get after meeting him are not curious but EXTREME! You feel bewilderment then an almost ecstatic state of mind. Then you feel anxious and frightened at the idea of messing things up. There is an almost drunken feeling about the relationship…but it’s always hot and cold.

3. You discover an intense love connection!
When you finally do meet, you fall for each other instantly. You rush into the relationship because of how intense the mutual attraction is. While most lust-based relationships fizzle out after sex, this one only grows hotter. It feels like love…in fact, it’s a small piece of heaven. Happily ever after is possible!

Or so it seems…

4. Conflict and secrets.
When your relationship is tested that’s when the fire begins! Ecstasy turns into combat. Suddenly, you’re fighting with each other vindictively and clashing in everything – not just in daily conflicts but major differences in personality, values, opinions, everything. Even worse, all of the attacks are personal. Arguments are hurtful, clashes are explosive, secrets are kept then exposed, and all to the extent that the relationship is threatened.

5. The chase ensues.
After the relationship ends or explodes in conflict, there is a “chase”. One partner seems to chase the other, while the other runs away. They play a very real “game” of cat and mouse, with one pursuing the other and the other resisting the relationship. Mind games are often very manipulative because they both want each other and yet can’t seem to work out their differences. Most twin flame relationships end, though some go through another series of on and off again romance.

6. Reconciliation follows – IF you keep an open mind.
While many couples stall in the previous stage (or just never get back together), a few will continue to keep in touch…and if they do, they may reach the “surrender” stage. This is when you both start to learn about why the relationship is so intense and open up to each other honestly and without secrets. Some even say this is a stage of ego dissolution, where we stop pretending, stop living in denial of what we are and what the true attraction is. You learn about yourself and about your other half. If you can last, this relationship will last longer, as you start to work through your differences.

7. You finally move on to “reunion”.
This final stage sees a “reunion of souls” where you find passion AND meaning in your shared lives. This brings you true fulfillment. You are now at peace with yourself and have learned over time how to work your differences out. You cultivate qualities like forgiveness, empathy, patience and so on. This is the final phase of live when you have made your peace…at least until the next lifetime!

As you can see, twin flame relationship do start off intense, angry, and will likely become unmanageable, at least in the beginning. Isn’t it interesting though, how over time, these twin personalities do seem to fall back in love? It might involve a break, perhaps even a few failed relationships in between. But they always seem to get back together.

But here’s the catch: in order to actually experience a twin flame reunion, both partners need to grow. They need to take time to find themselves, purge what they don’t like about themselves, and move forward. No wonder then that “in-between” periods in twin flame relationships can go years without contact. You both have a lot of growing to do, especially if the relationship ended with volatile emotion. This is yet another example of how the “no contact” rule always work, with no exceptions – even in the case of a deep psychic connection!