How to Please a Man in Bed Step by Step

Opinion 1: Pleasing a man sexually is an art form, a science, and frankly, it’s a MUST if you want to keep your man satisfied and happy in the relationship. It’s the woman’s obligation to make a man happy and please him in ways he’s never even thought of.

Opinion 2: Sex is not a big deal. It’s a very small percentage of your life. Love and respect should be more important.

Opinion 3: The woman is NEVER obligated to please the man. The idea of a woman bending over backwards to please a man is a patriarchal invention. The man should romance the woman so that he deserves the sex life he craves.

What do you think? Three very different and passionate opinions and you’ll find plenty of people who stand by their opinion.

Well let’s just play it safe and say that all three opinions have some truth and some myth in them. It would be unfair to say that one is right and the other opinions are wrong. Worse yet, if you go through life sticking to just one of those extreme opinions, you’re bound to be disappointed!

Let’s briefly consider what each viewpoint neglects to mention.

1. No, it’s not a woman’s obligation to please a man. But a smart woman who wants to please her man should study sex education to be an educated lover.
2. No, sex isn’t everything but like any form of intimacy and communication it IS important.
3. No, it’s not just a man’s obligation to be romantic. Sex and romance should be a 50/50 give and take process. However, women should not wait around expecting a man to satisfy them. Again, sex education will benefit the relationship.

Of course, teaching a comprehensive book on sexual foreplay and satisfaction would require a full book and not just one article. Still, consider this article an abridged version of what we would discuss in a full-length book. Like any other project being a good lover—one not only capable of pleasing a man but also enjoying sex on your own—is just a matter of following a series of steps. So let’s consider how to please a man in bed as a simple ten-step solution.

Step 1: Enjoy your body and let him enjoy it.

Bringing body issues into a sexual encounter is a big mistake. Your confidence and your desire to feel sexy and be perceived as sexy will be what empowers both of you to get down to business. If you have body issues, practice on them now. Make peace with who you are and let the man worship you. Remember that it’s not just about body shape but also about hygiene and presentation. Fix yourself up to look good by YOUR OWN standards and attract a man that appreciates what you look like. Don’t wear anything that feels fake and not in character. Be naturally attractive. Along the way, always make an effort to be clean, smell nice, have fresh breath and wear clothes that flatter your body shape and follow basic fashion laws. Men are not all about perfect body but do care about how well you present yourself.

Step 2: Prepare him for sex first…start the foreplay early.

Dating is what you might call “pre-foreplay.” When you date, tease and flirt with each other you’re very slowly easing into more intimate conversation. When the time comes for the two of you to be intimate, you should already have built anticipation for the first time in creative ways: like sending sexy pictures, or dirty texts, or watching a sexy R-rated flick. By the time you’re ready to be intimate you shouldn’t feel too nervous or too awkward. You should both feel turned on because of all the sexy banter!

Step 3: Learn how to dirty-talk. It’s not all about the swearing.

Dirty-talk has five stages: pre-foreplay, sexy chat, sexual foreplay, sexual intercourse and afterglow. You can’t really swear your way through all four stages! Instead, you have to learn to express your desires, your feelings and the experience you want to give your partner. The best way to dirty-talk is to start slow and PG-rated and then work your way into a XXX frenzy that will leave your guy breathless. Besides describing the intensity of the moment, remember also to dish out the compliments for your man so he feels sexy!

Step 4: Learn the art of kissing and touching—it’s not just foreplay!

A kiss not only starts a sexual encounter…it’s a unique experience all its own. A good kisser slows intimacy down second by second. You build passion and you focus on sensation. You practice “mindfulness” and actually increase sexual stamina and orgasmic potential. You don’t just fast-forward to penetration. You experiment with different touches and kisses.

Step 5: You learn the art of oral, giving and receiving. A man appreciates both!

It doesn’t take a scientist to figure out that men love oral sex. But it’s really all about the teasing and “oral sex foreplay” than just constant sucking. Practice is good but reading about different touching and kissing techniques so that you’re well versed in pleasure will surprise him! For that matter, men appreciate when a woman knows how to bring herself to orgasm and can even give him tips on how to give head effectively.

Step 6: Take time to learn the erogenous zones—his and yours.

Foreplay is much easier when you remember the “trigger spots” on his body and yours. Besides the breasts, butt and genitals don’t forget the lower outer lips, the neck front and back, the back, ears, elbows, tummy and feet.

Step 7: Learn to surprise your man by being MORE sexually adventurous and horny than he is.

Surprising him in bed is the best way to keep him coming back to you! Whether it’s telling what new sexual position you want, or giving him a lap dance, or having sex in a semi-public place, or tying him up or asking to be tied up, or asking him to exchange taboo fantasies with you, all these experimentation is good. Men love the idea of dealing with a woman who’s hard to control sexually and one that has an animal desire for sex. In other words, don’t hold back thinking you’re going to scare him away.

Sex is not just about the mechanical act of bumping and grinding. It’s about the attitude, the sensation and the thrill of connecting on a more intimate level. Stop looking at sex as a ritual or as a chore. View instead as a way to peer inside the mind of your man and bond even closer than you thought possible.

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

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Matthew Coast

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