How to be a Good Kisser

You probably know how to kiss a guy by now. It’s just a matter of reading his signals, expressing your signals (very clearly so there’s no mistaking it!) and then easing into a mutual lip lock. But there’s a big difference between understanding a kiss and actually becoming a really good kisser that leaves him wanting more. Let’s consider 10 ways to become a GOOD kisser and literally leave your boyfriend breathless.

1. Keep your lips relaxed.

Don’t purse or pucker your lips, but keep them relaxed and slightly open. As we’ve discussed before, keep your lips soft using balm or chapstick. It’s important that you stay calm so that your whole body can relax. Don’t worry so much about the first kiss, but enjoy the moment. If this is the first kiss with a new guy, close your eyes. This helps you to relax and lets him relax, not having to deal with too much intense eye contact. You can close your eyes as he leans into you, OR you can close your eyes just as your lips meet.

2. Use your hands in soft, subtle ways.

While you might think it’s the man’s job to caress your face as the two of you kiss, you can also use your hands to heighten the emotion of the moment. Touch your partner’s face, run your hands through his hair, or put your arms around him for a tighter embrace. Move closer to him as the kiss continues. You can touch any part of him, from his waist to his shoulders or neck. As the kiss intensifies (and several kisses into it) you can move your hands from one body part to another, feeling the energy.

3. React to his movements and tilt your head accordingly.

Avoid awkward bumps and gaffs by watching the way he tilts his head. Move your head in the opposite tilt direction so you can easily connect your lips with ease. Tilt your head back just a little bit. Try to keep your lips and chin jutting outward just a little bit, since this will help to avoid accidentally bumping foreheads.

4. Start slow and gentle and linger—don’t fight.

Although sexual tension is growing fast, stay calm and controlled. Start slowly. In fact, youth mouth should only be slightly open when you make the first kiss. React to his kisses with slow gentle kisses. Linger on his lips, letting him direct the pace. You can reposition your lips when it’s comfortable, and especially in between kisses. Tilt your head slightly and let him tilt in the opposite direction.

5. Enjoy the moments in between kisses.

When you do break the first embrace, look into his eyes again. Draw back just a little bit and analyze how he looks and how he’s feeling. Does he look turned on? Does he want more? If the answer is yes, then rather than kiss him right away, make a small gesture to suggest you want a second kiss. Put your hand behind his neck or tilt and lean. Once again, let him take the lead and feel in control.

6. Learn to breathe through your nose.

A good kiss is supposed to feel a little “breathless”, so you don’t want to keep breaking the kiss to breathe through your mouth. Instead, learn to breathe through your nose. If you need air then break away as needed…but rush back into his lips to continue the heat of the moment.

7. Learn to pleasure his upper and bottom lip.

After you get used to each other with a few kisses, start to suck on his bottom lip. Then, later on suck his upper lip. You can use a gentle sucking or a gentle bite. Just be sure to study his reaction, just in case you’re sucking or biting down too hard.

8. Open your mouth slightly and welcome him into a French kiss.

Be careful about being too aggressive with your tongue too early on. Instead, open your mouth during the next kiss and give him the idea. Don’t open too wide, just enough to give him an “airy” feeling and put the idea in his head that you want his tongue. Don’t rush it. Follow his lead and spend a few minutes open-mouth kissing.

If he doesn’t French kiss first, you can start but do it gently. Move your tongue slowly into the front of his mouth. Make each tongue stroke very gentle and fluid. Wait until he feels comfortable and then lets you feel his tongue. Start by just touching his tongue with the tip of your tongue.

When you’re both comfortable, push your tongue in deeper and or let him do the same. Think of a tongue-massage, rather than penetration. Don’t try to stick it far down his throat. Just be playful and caress each other with little circles to deepen the kiss. Don’t move your tongue too fast or make it too wet, which happens from trying to insert too much tongue into your partner’s mouth. Gradually, work your way up to sucking on his tongue.

9. Adjust to your partner’s style of kissing.

Part of being a good kisser will involve the way you interact with your partner. Even if you’re a great kisser by technique alone, if you can’t read his signals and respond in the way he likes, the kiss won’t be enjoyable. Adjust to his style and pay attention to the signals he gives you. How does he respond when you French kiss? Does he have a certain rhythm that you notice that you can keep up with? You could say that a good kiss is like a dance—both partners engage in it, one leading but one following. They both work hard at making the kiss perfect!

10. Above all, be passionate!

Finally, don’t forget the most important part of the kiss: feeling passionate. The more excited you are, the better it will feel. Don’t worry about the future or about what he’s thinking. Be in the moment and focus on the pleasure. Don’t break the mood by answering a ringing cell phone or talking about the relationship. Direct all your attention to this moment, right now, and do your best to keep it alive and liberating as long as you can.

With a little experience and a lot of passion in your heart, you can become a great kisser!

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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