It’s easy to flirt with a guy. But it’s hard to experience a real emotional connection. It’s hard to find a person who will love you for your true self, your real personality. Once you find that person it’s such a wonderful feeling. A feeling of relief, happiness, a catharsis of negative emotion and the beginning of healing!
Oh yes and when it all goes bad, it hurts like hell. It hurts so bad, sometimes people even stay in relationships they ultimately don’t want – all because they can’t the feeling of starting over again. Or of being alone.
Here’s the problem though…a lot of us tend to think when we’re down in the dumps that it’s a personal issue. They think to themselves toxic thoughts like “I’m ugly,” or “I’m unlikable,” and “No one could ever love me.”
They mistakenly think it’s a bad personality trait or that something’s wrong with their body.
But here’s the truth: it’s NOT about any of that. What matters is impressions. Attitude. The way we interact with other people. The stuff we feel is what we project to the world.
So men will respond to that energy, those vibes.
Rather than hyper-focusing on what you don’t like about yourself, it’s time to focus on more practical issues. Like what can you change if you want to get more attention? What can you do differently that works with guys?
In fact, you might be surprised at how easygoing most guys are – so as long as you follow these golden rules, or what you call, “11 turn offs that chase men away before they even give you a chance.”
Let’s talk about things you can change.
- Being mean or arrogant.
While it is true that guys like a challenge, women who come across as mean or arrogant – in other words, they make conversation difficult – are usually a turnoff. Maybe players like that kind of challenge where they play mind games. Usually, a man doesn’t want to deal with someone who’s too standoffish.
- Too demanding, too soon.
Along the same lines, if a guy senses that you want too much from him, “too soon” that’s usually a red flag. Now it’s true that guys do enjoy working hard and impressing a woman. They like a challenge and yes, they like it when a woman plays hard to get. The question is, are you demanding too much too soon? Do you shoot him down if he disappoints you, or staggers, or hesitates? Or do you encourage him along, rewarding him for his effort with more conversation? He wants you to be “demanding” for his attention, but space it out so he doesn’t feel overwhelmed.
- Too many mind games, not enough real moments.
Mind games are fun in the beginning but over time a man will start to feel tired of the same-old. He will sense that it’s always a competition, always a flirty conversation, but never any real bonding moments. That’s what he’s after, the emotional connection.
- Being too man-like in your approach.
One of the most common complaints from men about women is when they’re overly “masculine.” For example, women who act too much like men. Maybe they swear, they say crass things, or they’re too aggressive. Some men (though not all) even claim they don’t like it when a woman comes on too strong as if she’s trying to pick him up. Men respond to feminine energy, that’s what makes them comfortable.
- Coming across as insecure or needy.
Insecurity and clinginess are manifested when a woman “tries too hard” to be liked, or demands negative attention. Whether she nags him, controls him, or manipulates emotion out of him, a guy will eventually perceive something is wrong.
- Still in love with someone else.
Talking about your ex, whether in a positive or negative way, is a big mistake. Exes should be a thing of the past, something you talk about much later in the relationship as a painful life lesson. Fixating on them is a sure way to tell a guy you’re not over him.
- Caring too much about appearances.
While we all DO care about first impressions a little bit, giving too much attention to appearances can be frustrating to a man. For instance, you know how some women care too much about what people think? Maybe they talk about shallow topics of conversation or are more interested in posting selfies than engaging in a real dialog. Guys notice that. They want more depth in conversation.
- Being too much of a “good girl.”
Just like women don’t tend to respond to “nice guys”, sometimes guys might find a “good girl” kind of boring. That doesn’t mean you have to act crazy or make life difficult for him. Rather, maybe it’s time you talk about more exciting things, wild thoughts, something a little dangerous. Men want to feel an element of the unpredictable and mysterious. They love it when a woman gives them that feeling.
- Just “lying there.”
Believe what you’ve heard – men are very put off by a woman who isn’t affectionate, doesn’t enjoy sex, and doesn’t know what she wants sexually. Even if you’re not sleeping with him yet, which of course is a bad idea if it’s too soon, you want to show him that you are passionate and sensual – and have a wild side. IF and when he gets to see that side of you.
- Lacking a meaningful life.
The bottom line is if a man is successful and intelligent and mature…then he’s mostly interested in women that reflect those same qualities. If you lack ambition, or at least have no hobbies or goals in life, he might figure you’re an uneven match. So rather than think about faking success of attractiveness, BE someone you can be proud of. That’s what will get a man’s attention, seeing firsthand what an interesting life you have.
- Too much drama!
Finally, remember to keep the relationship as positive as possible. Not just because it’s the “cool thing to do”, but hey, realistically speaking, men always respond to women who give them positive experiences. Men are less drawn to women who have lots of baggage, or drama, or negative memories. That’s usually why some loving relationships end – because of a host of bad memories. Fill his mind with memories of positive experiences, exciting dates, great conversation, and favorable emotional experiences he can be happy to remember.
As you can see, it’s rarely ever about “your flaw” or what you’re lacking. It’s usually just about appearances and the way we conduct ourselves in a conversation. Men are not picky. And believe it or not, most men are NOT commitment-phobic. They just want a woman who understands them. A woman who avoids the most common mistakes. Most of all, they want a woman that understands the concept of forever, and teamwork, and making a marriage work. You can do that – and you CAN build the committed relationship you want.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
Click this link to watch my video right now <<
