How can this be? How could you possibly leave someone you love? Isn’t the love you have for a person the only thing that matters? Following your heart means everything.
Or so you often think, until you experience the pain of a relationship in turmoil. It’s devastating to love someone that also drives you mad. You may feel addicted to love and to the pain. You may even feel like a nervous wreck, torn in between grief and passion.
You love him but you can’t stand him! Your conscience is divided about what to do. On one hand, you could stay and try to be patient. But you may also fantasize about getting away breaking up with your partner and being free of the conflict.
At what point is it time to break up with your partner and end the relationship that started with so much potential? There are eight signs to look for that can help you sort out how you feel.
1. You no longer trust each other.
Though you one enjoyed honesty, trust, and intimacy with each other all of that has run dry by now. You don’t trust him, his fidelity, his love for you, any of it. You know he cares about more winning than he does about your well-being. If any relationship reaches the point of a total lack of trust, there is no emotional intimacy left.
2. The relationship is completely one-sided.
Either he does everything for you or you do everything for him.
Relationships will only last if both partners give equal time and effort to making it work. Lopsided relationships usually don’t last because, at some point, the harder-working partner eventually has enough. They learn that their love is being taken for granted.
They become tired of carrying the whole relationship on their shoulders. There is always a breaking point. If your partner contributes very little while you break your back trying every day, then the situation is hopeless.
3. You break up just as often as you get back together.
Simply put, you are always fighting. Whereas most couples in love avoid fighting because they are evenly matched, mismatched couples live and breathe conflict. You’re always upset because there is perpetual combat and it really does grey your hair, as far as stress goes.
If this conflict has actually broken the two of you up before, but you somehow got back together…and then broke up again…rest assured, this is not what true love feels like.
4. You’re no longer the same people as when you first got together.
People do change over time. Sadly, not all of these changes are “micro” so to speak. Some couples “macro” change…to the point where they become different people. New goals, new aims, new desires and values that their partner never understands.
Sometimes couples can stay friends after a mutual breakup but not always. If you realize that you have literally nothing in common except conflict and shared memories, it’s time to admit you’ve grown apart.
5. He abuses you.
You’re may not be sure if it’s technically abuse but if you react in fear and grief to his outbursts then it’s all the same. If he has physically or verbally abused you (or gaslighted you, which is a form of abuse) then it’s highly unlikely he will ever change. He will continue to abuse you until you lose your sanity or he dumps you anyway – that’s the cycle.
When you understand your worth as a person and as an attractive woman worthy of love, you outgrow these mind games. You reject your bully’s treatment of you, realizing that it’s never okay to take advantage of a person.
6. You’re never happy and you no longer even like yourself.
The only way to gauge if a relationship is healthy and loving is by how happy you are. If you’re never happy and you are always doubting yourself, then your partner has not treated you well. It’s time to work on your self-esteem away from the person who’s hurting you.
7. You have needs that haven’t been met in years!
A doomed relationship will never fulfill your needs. You may have multiple “needs” that need attention (love, sex, communication, intimacy, career, friendships, etc.), and that he never bothers to address. If months or even years go by and you get nothing, that’s probably how things will stay.
8. Family and friends are outspokenly critical of the relationship.
Sometimes people we love can see things that we don’t see. If this relationship has become toxic your friends and family are usually the first to see it. They see the change that has taken place, as you’ve gone from happy and fawning to nervous and constantly stressed.
Of course, most of these fine people don’t want to tell you their negative impressions. If they see that you’re in love, they don’t want to second-guess you. But hearing that you are having doubts may push them to tell the truth.
When in doubt, ask your loved ones about your partner and the relationship and ask for honesty. Chances are they will tell you the truth – if you can handle it.
Perhaps you never truly learn to love until you’ve suffered through an intense but dysfunctional relationship. As we mature, we begin to learn that although the heart wants what it wants, happy endings are not always possible in the real world. Sometimes there are huge differences between two people that cannot be reconciled.
If it ever gets to the point where you feel that this relationship is destroying you and you don’t know if you can survive another year…
Just remember that “this” (right now, this moment) is the best it will ever be. Does that thought scare you? If it does, then it’s probably because you know it’s time to break up. It’s time to regroup and work on yourself, not to chase after a man who doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
Start building a better relationship, one where you feel valued and happy, and stop living in the past. This is the only way to heal from a broken heart.
The #1 Thing That Prevents You From Getting Over a Man And Moving On…
After working with hundreds of thousands of women in their dating and relationship lives, helping women get out of toxic situations and move on to healthy relationships where they’re loved and cherished…
I’ve determined that there’s one difference between women who feel strong, happy, and whole after a breakup and women who can’t seem to move on no matter how hard they try.
It’s something that I now called, “Stuck On Your Ex Syndrome”…
And it determines how quickly you move on from a man or whether you stay stuck on him for weeks, months, or even years.
There are 5 mistakes that you can make that prevent you from getting over a guy and give you Stuck On Your Ex Syndrome.
And if you want to get over a guy and get over him fast, you need to make sure you’re not making any of these 5 mistakes.
P.S. I helped a woman who was still stuck on her ex after 7 years of being apart from him…
She even married a new man but couldn’t get over her ex from years ago.
I helped her let go of him in just under a week and a half.
You CAN let go of a man if he isn’t right for you.