Love – sometimes you just know when it’s real. You feel chemistry. You feel joy, intimacy, trust, and romance. You’ve even asked yourself, “Is this infatuation?”

Of course not, because it’s not about sex or physical beauty. It’s about his personality, his soul, and everything unique about him. You fall in love with him every time you interact. It’s a happily ever after ending for sure!

And then…well one day it all goes horribly wrong! It’s like a terrible nightmare. The man you thought you knew has a dark side and one that you never saw coming.

You’re left feeling confused, heartbroken, and almost like you’re thinking, “Is this even real? Am I dreaming?”

How can the man you love, even over months or years, turn out to be someone completely different than you thought he was?

The problem is not with you. The problem is that fake love is very difficult to spot when you’re first dating and all the more so, if you’re not used to dating narcissistic personalities. And why would you be? Nobody intentionally signs up for fake love.

But people who give fake love just happen to be very good at what they do. So in this discussion, we’re going to talk about what fake love looks like and feels like through eight specific signs.

1. He love bombs you in the beginning then grows increasingly more bitter.

You can always spot a fake love relationship based on the progression. When you first meet someone, it’s not normal to get love bombed. Relationships progress, they eventually escalate over time. Romance follows courtship, dating, and being friends. When someone jumps into an intense, sexual and romantic relationship that feels like a fairy tale romance beware.

2. He never meets you halfway. You always have to make him happy.

Men are never more in love than when they’re chasing the woman they want. They feel empowered and passionate, not just when they win her over, but through the entire courtship.

If your crush or your ex has always been reserved, never really interested in chasing you, but just responding to your attention, then that’s not a good sign.

It seems like you’re the one making him happy, bending over backwards to coddle him, and being satisfied with VERY LITTLE that he actually does for you. The sad thing is, the dynamic usually never changes. He never becomes that 51 percent guy. He stays at 40 and then goes to 30, always making you work harder for love he can’t give you.

3. He is emotionally distant… and it feels like he doesn’t care about you.

Do you ever feel neglected? Do you ever think to yourself, “He really doesn’t seem to care about me at all?”

You think these things often, right before you push the thought out of your head. You make excuses for him. Or you figure it’s all in your imagination. He might even reassure you that he loves you. But there’s a very good reason you keep having those thoughts. Because you notice the emotional distance he keeps from you.

4. You have changed your personality completely to get along with him.

It’s sad how many women will change just to please a man who is only half-heartedly interested. But what often happens is that a woman feels attraction and then falls for the fake love signals he puts out.

He doesn’t care about you – he simply wants to transform you into a type, an ideal, that is nothing like you. Maybe he wants a trophy wife, or wants to recreate his ex, or any number of disturbing scenarios. But a lot of guys will do this and will try to change you in subtle ways.

And as you age, you will find that the less you are like your “true self” the more miserable you become.

5. He doesn’t trust you and wants to control every aspect of your life.

Control freaks will tell you they love you. It’s alarming to hear it too because they sound sincere. But a codependent relationship like this is not about trust, but total domination and control.

In fact love bombing you with all these sincere moments is part of the fake lover’s MO.

6. You are never his priority.

No matter how hard you try, it seems like you’re never at the top of his list. He doesn’t do much for you. He’s content to let you slave for him, giving just the bare minimum.

He never fights for you…in fact, he’s always ready to give up the relationship, usually when he feels threatened or defensive. If a man is that resigned to a relationship, offering to end it rather than fighting for it, then that shows a complete lack of real love.

7. He has lost all respect for you.

Have you noticed he can be extremely cruel when he’s angry or doesn’t get his way? Making mean-spirited comments about you or making heartless statements (especially to or about your family) is a cruel thing to do. Whether he apologizes or not, it’s a boundary that a man should never cross.

If he says cruel things and then takes it back or apologizes (but never stops doing it) it shows that he’s lost respect for you. A man who doesn’t respect you or your most obvious boundaries will usually never change. If he knows he can get away with it, and knows you are enabling him (even when it hurts) it’s a vicious cycle that goes on and on.

8. He doesn’t understand you.

Finally, if you’ve tried so long to connect with him and yet he never understands you, or doesn’t even try, then it’s a go-nowhere relationship. It’s not hard to understand your partner, especially after months or even years of interacting.

We learn our mates. We begin to understand their perspective the more they share feelings and experiences. When a guy just never understands you and admits it, or shows it with his ongoing insensitivity, it’s a failure to connect.

It also shows an unwillingness to try. Your perspective is never important to him because the love he wants is always a priority. It’s not a mutually beneficial relationship.

In conclusion, besides these seven signs, another way to tell if the love you have is real is by analyzing how you FEEL in the relationship most of the time.

In fake love relationships, though there are a lot of good memories, most of the time you feel like a nervous wreck. You’re always anxious and high-strung, worrying about him or how he’s going to react.

In contrast, true love always makes you feel valued, cherished, and supported by your partner. He’s always interested in helping you, healing you, and protecting you, rather than getting his way all the time.

When you do find someone you’re compatible with, you immediately feel the difference and it’s a relationship that can last a lifetime.

What if “true love” could happen in four, simple steps?

Too good to be true? That’s what I thought, too.

Until I heard this story about an old woman from Prague…

When you think about lasting, life-long love… when you imagine passion that burns for decades… when you dream about a man who adores you…

… You probably don’t think about cobblestone streets in Eastern Europe. Or scientists with beakers and white lab coats.

But this weird story from Prague may be the secret to love that never ends. See for yourself:

Click here to learn more

If you’ve ever wanted your man to worship the ground you walk on, this is worth ten minutes of your time.

(I couldn’t put it down.)

Just click here for details:

Click here to learn more

Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

    13 replies to "8 Signs of Fake Love"

    • Colleen Keating

      I am so distraught, I am empathic but can no longer trust my spidey senses. The past two relationships I have been in have been with a narcissist. I can’t take it anymore. I lost my daughter to a murderer in 2013, both my parents within 6 months of each other this year, and along the way 2 narcissists and a narcissist’s girlfriend took the first wonderful guy away. Thank God but it took me a long time to say that. The second guy really had me going. I was falling into the same trap. I just want to be in a relationship with me but at 53 I feel like I am running out of time to find someone. I am barely holding myself together. The older you get the harder it is to pull yourself together if you know what I mean. how can I be so wrong, I can not handle any more rejection or abandonment right now. please.

      • Sue

        Colleen, sweetie, please just take a step back for awhile. You have had too much to deal with lately; you know that. And I’m sure your daughter is in your mind fairly often and it will be like that for a long time. Taking a few months for yourself, and to pamper yourself, should help a lot, and relieve some of this pressure. And you know you are the one pressuring yourself. You need to be a lot nicer to yourself, and get settled down a bit before you think of dating again — and hopefully not biting off more than you can chew, again. And you must feel strong, and confident, and whole within youraelf to consider dating. No one wants to date a perhaps neurotic looking and acting, nervous woman, who also looks kinda desperate. Slow down — you will save time in the long run, and not be so hard or mentally wearing on yourself. And just go with the flow, take your time, do not rush into anything or allow yourself to be rushed into anything (& pray to your guardian angel to help you find the perfect man for you. He is out there somewhere). Peace, babe.

    • Laura Sue Bayird

      Dear Matt,
      I’ve been subscribed to you for over a year now. This one (article) describes my ex husband and last relationship to a T… but I did it Matt. I kicked the last guy like this to the curb after only a few months, not a few years and changed my attraction patterns. You’re spot on about the difference between fake love and real. I think I’ve found real love this time. I felt uneasy at first only because it’s been easy. No anxiety about what he thinks or how he’s going to react. No games trying to earn his attention. Just connection, understanding… and peace. It’s been six sweet months with the new guy and I’m looking forward to more. Thanks to you, I can tell this guy really respects me and wants to have a healthy, lasting relationship. Thank you, friend.

    • Francesca

      Been seeing my guy 9 months…long distance relationship 200 miles away… not met his family, sometimes doesn’t return my phone call for 5 days…. not even a birthday call on my birthday this month… turned up at my house Boxing Day for 5 days and didn’t know he was coming.. no gift and I bought all food and drink… different women texting him and calling him whilst here.. him saying all just friends….went home yesterday and today text me saying his card doesn’t work and can I pay for his just eat take away and he will transfer funds to me this morning …. just asked him for it as not got it yet and he says I’ll text u when I’ve sent it ‍♀️
      He says he wants to marry me but I just feel I may be being used I just don’t know

      • Bleumoon Damaske

        Dont take this wrong Francesca, but i wouldn’t expect any money back or at least not for awhile.. and if he does, it will be about half of it. If a guy is into you he would want to do something for your birthday .. showing up unannounced could of been part of it or just an excuse to be there and crash for a few days cuz he had busy or plans a round your area, Otherwise what a poor gift indeed when it cost you money! He is a user and you are not his priority nor the only one he is using… if you never get the money back… getting him out of your life is the priced you paid and its much cheaper now than later if you allow him to continue to use you. Sorry. but you already know this is true.

      • Francisca

        Hi Francesca I have been through the same things I even married him. Getting divorce soon. He took me for granted still texting and says he love me but I’m not going back down there. Happens two time’s to me. I have learn my lessonn with guys. We have to
        be careful and see what they say is true actions get to know them first . Just look after yourself be nice to yourself. Someone will come in your life. ❤

      • Rachael

        I strongly think that you’re being used. Period. Long distance for just mine months? And he goes without answering you for five days? He’s talking marriage to give you false hope so he can continue extorting you. What exactly is happening with his card, can he make it clear? Obviously he has other options if the card doesn’t work. I think you shouldn’t spend another cent on him. How about your card also developing a ‘problem’? It’s only a matter of time before he depletes your finances and hurt you more. If you ask me, take off.

    • Courteney Walker

      I have been in a relationshup with a guy for 4 years and I have found myself relating to some of these points. I was wondering can a guy that gives fake love not know he is giving that? Sometimes he acts like it’s normal for his actions and I am left at a lost. We progressed pretty quick because in 2 years we have had 2 girls together. We live together but it’s like every time I hAve something to bring up to his attention he avoids it completely or gets mad saying I just want to start a fight.

      • Nicola GLASHEEN

        Hi I’m in the same situation as you as wen I say something to my parner he always says I just want to start on him and I think hes giving me flause hope and fake love, I have been with him for 6 half years

    • Teresa Palmer

      Dear Matt just wanted to know I feel like he has drifted away by I like him and would like him to talk to me again

    • Sherryl

      Why are there SO many men nowadays with narcissistic behaviors, personality disorders, bipolar illness and all sorts of depression, anxiety issues. Almost every man,why???

      • Matthew Coast

        A lot of men say the same about almost all women… do you think almost all women have these problems too?

    • Karen Hance

      I think people throw around the word narcissistic like it’s freakin’ confetti. Selfish, yes. I would agree that many men and women have selfish tendencies. I have been in toxic relationships that the man may have said the same of me. I could also say the same of them. When the relationship is real and right, it works. Two selfish people will struggle the entire time.

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