A long time ago, someone told me that “You fall in love for little reasons, just as much as grand romantic gestures.”
When I first heard that I had to think it over. At the time I was a younger man and so I thought love was all about attraction, grand gestures of romance, and you know, like the whole Meatloaf song, I’d do anything for love (except that!).
And sure it is. But as you grow older and live with someone over time, you start to understand the wisdom of that message. Love is in the little things.
Grand gestures stay in our minds but they are not enough to save a relationship. Sometimes very volatile and stressful marriages can have great individual moments. But they never really have that sense of peace, that long-term joy that keeps two people together.
Long-term partnerships are about living together in peace, having fun with each other, complementing each other’s personalities, and enjoying the hours and the minutes you have together.
Let’s discuss 8 little things that will make a man fall in love with you. These are things that you might do instinctively, or maybe you will learn to do them over time. But these are what make a man feel comfortable and helps him realize how happy he is in the relationship.
1. Being kind instead of always being right.
This doesn’t mean you should hold back your opinion or protect him from the truth. But it’s just a reminder to ask yourself, “Is this particular moment really a big deal?” Does someone have to win or lose? Or can you find a way to talk out a resolution? Just because someone is right doesn’t mean there has to be gloating or an “I told you so” chorus.
You being right doesn’t have to mean that he is wrong. You both have good intentions and that’s something that should be appreciated. Being kind and making up is more important than always being right.
2. Being on his team, rather than everyone else’s.
Some men take it personally when their partner never takes “his side” and always chooses to agree with friends, family, TV programs, Internet articles, and so on and so on. Eventually, an insecure man is going to notice a pattern – that you’re “always against him.”
But there’s something else more important than being on the winning team or even more important than being right – being loyal to your partner. This doesn’t mean you have to lie or spread misinformation. Rather, just look for ways to support him. If you don’t agree on one subject, find other things to agree on and show your support for him in public. It will mean the world to him to know you’re always looking out for this team.
This brings us to #3…
3. FIND common things to share together.
It’s common to hear couples complain about not having much in common. But is the problem really the incompatibility or is it just that the two of you don’t try to find things in common? Looking for things to share together, to try together, and to enjoy as a couple is a great way to remind him that you always have things in common – even if your hobbies change. Your desire to stay connected and bond is what matters the most.
4. Keeping an open mind.
Part of maintaining a peaceful household and a loving relationship for years or even decades on end is the ability to keep an open mind with each other. If your partner can always count on you to be fair, nonjudgmental, slow to anger, and rational to talk to, he will recognize you as his most trusted confidant. He doesn’t have to act around you or tiptoe around your sensibilities. He trusts you the most.
5. Do things for him, not just for mutual benefit.
What better way to show a man you’re on his side than to be kind to him without a good reason. Not to makeup, or to earn his favor, or to give a husband his “due” – but just the joy of giving. Being kind to him just because it feels good to make him happy. Putting a smile on his face is its own reward. A hug is all you ask.
Most couples do nice things for mutual benefit. And that’s all well and good but going that extra mile and wowing him with an act of kindness is what will make him realize how special you are.
Doing things for your man could include anything from gift-giving, to sincere compliments, to just doing little favors for him that you know he’s not going to ask for, but you also know it’s going to make his day. That sounds like a partner he wants on his team!
6. Being interested in his thoughts and perspectives.
It’s one thing to be a great listener and that’s sure to win a man’s favor beyond just a good date. That’s serious boyfriend material, sure. But…if you want to talk about winning a man’s heart and having him fall in love then let’s talk about being devoted to him and everything about him.
Are you interested in his viewpoints and do you love hearing him talk? Do you draw him out with conversation and give him the enthusiasm he wants to see? This shows a man you crave his mind, his wit, his personality, and everything else awesome about him. Most other women he meets will never do this. They might listen, but they won’t mind-meld with him like you and start that special bond – that will always be to your advantage.
7. Meshing well with his life – and the people in his life.
It might help to think of getting along with his family as a job interview…because it kind of is. While he might love you regardless of family or friend clashes, he will love you all the more so if he sees the effort you put forth to be adaptable and fit in with all of his social circles. It makes him visualize being married to you, realizing that you not only match his personality, but also understand his lifestyle.
8. Laugh a lot!
Finally, never underestimate the importance of fun! Having a warm and joyful attitude goes a long way. Find humor whenever possible. Laugh with each other. Help him to look on the bright side. Find positives even in a difficult situation. He will be amazed that you are such a fun person to be around, even while most of the world revels in misery. That’s the kind of love he will never want to part from. Being in love with someone FUN always beats staying married because of obligation. Make it fun of the both of you and you’ll always feel like newly weds.
A Trick To Make A Man Obsessed With You That Works Every. Single. Time!
Sometimes, real life is even better than a fairy tale…
I learned that while walking the empty streets of Prague.
(For the rest of this story, you can simply read this page: Click here to read )
Here’s how I remember it:
“Imagine you walk the streets of Prague, on a snowy December night. The cobble-stone streets click below your shoes… every corner looks like a painting from a museum back home…
You can feel the history in the air, and the romance wraps around you like an old coat.
Now, imagine you bump into a charming older couple. And you chat with them.
Their love is so clear, you ask how long they’ve been married.
“Sixty years,” says the husband, with a warm smile. He puts his hand on his wife’s back, and looks at her with love in his eyes.
“Sixty blissful years with the love of my life.”
You finish talking, but before you say goodbye, the woman takes you aside. And she slips an antique bottle into your hand.
“Take this,” she says. “This is my ‘true love’ secret to keeping my husband obsessed with me, for all these years.” “
Can you guess what her secret was?
I think you’d be wrong.
That’s why I continue the story on the following page:
See for yourself.
Matthew Coast
All true!
Hopefully if a woman loves a man she will know these instinctually!
Thanks for the information it really helps
Hopefully she is receiving the same to give it.
It’s the little things that mean a lot. They will be remembered and it shows how thoughtful you are and that you truly care. Doing something that puts a smile on her face
It was nice to realize that I always did the right things. My husband passed away last May and I couldn’t be with him. Covid-19 closed the borders. He was Canadian, so we moved there for his medical care. I was in the US for mine every 6 months for a couple weeks.
We talked every day and messaged even more. Thank God for Facebook Messenger. We were close. Friends and lovers.
When it is time to move on, I will remember your advice matches my atitude.
I’m sooo soo sorry for your loss
Same thing happened to me I was in England and my husband passed away so sad
Doing all of these things for my husband and still did not make my husband love me more or be faithful to me, our family, and marriage. When he found God and truely started living his life for God, that’s when he realized how much he had messed up and how much he loved me and our family.
All of us! We always need our, God!
He is always on time! No matter how long he takes.. he is always on perfect timing. When he shows up though.. He shows out! For sure!
Count your blessings now! Your man should love you more now that you stuck around through all the BS. Luckily for you it got better. Some women aren’t as fortunate hon
You are such a strong woman for stick it out through thick and thin times!
You have no idea how beautiful and strong and inspirational you truly are! Keep glowing himeu! Stay blessed!
Yeah same as my ex. It wasn’t until we divorced and 18 months later he was terminally ill, that he realised what he had done. Couldn’t actually pass away until I was with him and with our 2 girls, a family for the last time..
Hi Robin…not to bash on what u said, but we can love with all our hearts, be on his side on things, have things in common & so on, but if a man is not committed, he will find a reason to move on ( after 30 yrs ) & leave his better half DEVASTATED.
I would have to agree. I have been with my 3 years. But it is different than any other relationship I’ve had I’ve never had a friend turn into a lover I’ve known him since third grade and I can remember him always standing up for me the only time I lost contact with him is I went off to college and he went to the service he chased me for several years we finally got together I did everything right and he still cheats everybody asked me what’s wrong with him why is he doing it I told him when they find out please let me know he’s even losing friends over it he’ll leave and come back and leave and come back and I’m dumb enough to take him back however this time is different I found a note where he told her she was his world and that he loved her it crushed me it’s crushing me right now I don’t have any children I don’t have any brothers or sisters I buried almost my entire family within a three-year period my grandma was the only one that reached 60 years of age so to you out there it can always be worse
You are correct. Commitment is the key!
I think these are great and I’ve always said to my ex that it’s the little things that count but it needs to be done in return too. I had been doing most of these in my last relationship, which lasted over 7 years, hoping for one day to get some of it in return, when its all one sided it just won’t work, as you feel like your never listened to or appreciated.
TO CLAIR: FOR REALS & 100 % TRUE…ESPECIALLY HIM, NOT BEING ABLE TO SHOW APPRECIATION.
I did follow these 8 things but I don’t understand why sometimes he still keep distant . We will have good times but when we are not together , he won’t communicate for 5-6 days .
He’s probably with his other woman if he can go 5 -6 days without communicating smh
Awww I smell the roses probably cheating I wouldn’t trust the situation when you love someone no matter where you are you will never forget the person Awww he’s cheating I fell so deeply wake up woman
Oh my goodness Mary! I met this really great guy off a dating app and we went out on an amazing date and kicked it off with great chemistry and deep connection. He opened up to me on every level with sharing his past relationship and showed me beautiful pictures of his older daughters. We have such great conversation and laugh so much. I love being around him and things were going so well up until 3 days ago and now we don’t even talk like we used to. He only says, “I hope that your day is going well and that’s it when he message me day or night. I’m so sorry that your enduring this.
I am dating a older man . I do all these things for him . He is always telling me why are you so good to me I say because I love u .
I am dating an older man too, and do all these things and he loves that I make him smile and I do the extra mile, he has never had it before,
He always returns the favour too.
Good morning I have been in an long distance relationship for 8 months. I am trying to make plans with him to go and see him he also has two kids wife died from cancer but he seems hesitant and I don’t understand why I mean do you want me or you don’t I don’t want to be a serial texter for much longer. I went on vacation alone for a week to the Caribbean try to forget him so many different times and I can’t. Any advice or suggestions please? Thank you.
There are red flags here! His hesitancy speaks volumes. Sure, he’s always on your mind, but that’s natural. It’s hard to get over someone in your heart, but you must do better for yourself. Please don’t go visit him. Find a love that will leave no doubt.
Be patient. I know it feels for you, like forever, and if you can’t wait, do what you need to. Losing a significant other, especially if there is children involved, is very tricky territory. A long distant relationship feels safe for him. He is “just” texting or calling. He is slowly giving himself permission to move on, otherwise he feels like he is cheating, or betraying his wife and their children. She may have passed, but she still very much alive within him and their children. Death is so different than divorce, or a break-up, and people need to move at the pace that is right for them.
Like I initially said, If his pace is too slow, and you need to walk away for your self-care, then do so. Do what is best for you. But, if he means that much to you, be his friend, his confidante, let him know you are not challenged by his love for her, and celebrate her life with him. He will see that he is not betraying anyone if she is allowed in! The kids will not feel that you are trying to replace, if she is allowed to still exist. If he means that much to you, he has to know you are that special person who will not be threatened by a ghost, but rather are open enough to befriend it too.
Once he feels secure in all of the above, things will slowly progress on. They will haul, and with patience progress again! If he is worth it, you can do it!
Wow! That’s the perfect response, Heather! Are you a counselor or psychiatrist? Amazing advice!
I love the widower I am with. If I had met him first after his wife past away, he instead met an alcoholic user. So, he has a little baggage from this alcoholic woman. He bought her flowers and she gave them away. His granddaughter gave me a rose that I cherished for over week. I have hinted but it is like he was burned and this has affected him in giving me flowers. I love everything about him just want him to be a little more romantic with flowers for example.
Romance encompasses so many forms not only the giving of flowers and materialistic things. He’s giving you parts of him that are torn and tattered. The true him, bruised. Embrace him for all that he is and feel blessed that a man has opened himself up to you. Those flowers will wilt and die off but his soul and love deep within outweighs anything else he could possibly give you. Relish in the life and blessing he is offering you, it’s a huge gift. One day, you just may be surprised with material things or flowers etc.
That was a beautiful answer you gave the lady. I hope she took it to heart. Love, kindness, laughter, mutual respect outlast flowers.
My husband passed away 2 years ago. Yesterday would have been his birthday. This morning i had a dream. He was angry with me and the message was to put in order my live and to move on, to find love and purpose. I am ready to do all these things and there is one but he is emotionally unavailable. Hopefully it will be a good time ahead :).
I am my husband’s bestfriend and our entire relationship of 6 years has been long distance. It is only through GOD who makes this possible and the strength of your honest , authentic , loving words that you listen and communicate each others hearts, feelings and the occasional ” I wish we could , I miss you, and the tears over the line conversations” get heard not attacked. Many of us long distance wives or husbands that are steadfast Christians, and even non, could not successfully do what it takes and obey the commandments and still keep it thriving.. It is a choice and God doesn’t approve divorce , it is not even a nod to conversation. Word to the wise, that is all satans doing. If we want to take on a positive, more inspirational nod to this, look at it as the chosen bride-groom ” angel -warrior” couple there on Earth to help fulfill Gods purpose. Have faith and love like no other, or mirror your love like Jesus would. God Bless All you love wives..
Husbands love your wives and wives love your husbands in return! This is really a beautiful thing!
My guy is older too! He has never been shown affection the right way. He was always the one providing the money for her. I always get him little things whether it’s a card expressing my feelings or little trinkets of appreciation, and he absolutely loves it.
To have someone with a kind heart and good humor. Laughter is a blessing in a relationship. I love my guy.
I believe that it works both ways . A woman would fall in love with those 8 same relationship qualities. That would make an incredibly strong team. Unbeatable I guess. If you both were on the same page. I had that once or twice. But our Egos. Well messed that up. Now that we know what went wrong. We could be unstoppable
I am all that , all you mentioned and more ..I have done it with him and it was so natural and sincere ..not even trying
He still dumped me and walked away turning his back on all of this
Still completely out of balance and totally heartbroken
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us. All is the real truth and imagine how lovely it is not to have Lunch in the absence of your loved one. Your article is the dam truth of what we are missing everyday in our lives.
Though I am still single
But I feel so sad that after doing most and almost all listed above, maybe he requested for a gift and I happened to go for the ones I can afford and was how I started experiencing heartbroken.
Then I had nothing doing and he never believe me, he only thinks I have it all but not ready to give the best quality he needs.
I will cry day and night trying to explain he never listen to me.
Is my own different?
Have trust in yourself and your abilities. The right one for each of us is out there, Don’t give up and don’t settle. Trust that God know what he is doing and ask that he bring the right one for you. He has in my life.
I met this guy about a month ago. We met through a mutual friend and on that weekend he took very good care of me and paid a lot of attention to me and very detailed things I said or did or made. 2nd day we all went out with our mutual friends and later they decided to go home we both stayed back. 2 hours there he said he wanted to take me somewhere else and we left. During that time there we spoke a lot and he told me a lot about himself and his family. And he opened up about wanting to get to know me and he likes me. Fast forward I got tired and sleepy and we went home. I got home called my sister and she didn’t open up so since we are both neighbors I spent the night at his place. He offered me the bed and slept on the couch. The next morning he made breakfast and joined me in bed and we ate together. Later during the day we all had a swimming hangout with our mutuals.
The next day I was about leaving and I went to say bye I knocked and a girl opened the door saying “babe is bathing “. Mind u he told he’s single.
Disappointed I left, 3 days later he reached out to me and asked for a date the next weekend. We hanged out, the following day too which was Sunday. Monday he invited me for breakfast at his place before I left to my place. I asked him about the girl and he said there’s nothing just a situation someone he knows.
I told my sister I like him and I intend to get to know him more and date him. So my sister confronted him about it and told him if he’s being sincere then he can go ahead but if he’s just intending to play around then he shouldn’t. That week he kept on calling but he doesn’t text. Yes I know he’s busy but at least he calls.
I noticed if I don’t text him he barely texts back. I really like this guy and I want to date but my fears of my past relationships are giving me thoughts and doubts. I’ve been single for 3 years.
I don’t know if it’s fine to let him go or confront him and tell him about my feelings or what should I do? I just want to know what is next and get over with this feeling. Please advise me . I really want him . Every-time we hanged out he talks a lot and very communicating but on phone no. And since then he hasn’t invited me over for dinner, date night or hangouts, I don’t know if I should take the first step but I also don’t know how to do
This is great information, however where are the lessons for the men to have women fall in love with them? They seem to be a bigger problem at times for relationships…..
It’s on the men’s dating sites… of which there are lots!