7 Types of Unhealthy Crushes

Remember when your parents used to say, “You don’t know what real love is yet. It’s just a crush.”

Perhaps all you could think of at the time was, “But this feels like real love!”

Of course it did. When we’re young, we only understand love according to how it feels. We don’t have a full life of love, loss and learning to compare those feelings to. It feels intense, it feels real, it feels like love.

But over time, things change. Feelings change, situations change, and oftentimes our perceptions of people change. Sometimes people even change right in front of our eyes.

And I hate to break the news to you, but “crushes” don’t actually go away, even when we grow up. We still feel impostor forms of love. And even if we’re fifty years old, romantic feelings still feel real and intense sometimes. Even though…you know, it’s quite possible this is not real love.

So what is real love? Well in some of our past articles, we discussed how to identify real love according to some logical criteria. This time, I thought we would do the exact opposite and discuss crushes in more detail. The feelings of a crush, the desires, the thinking process, and all that good stuff. Contrary to popular belief, crushes are not based on lust and pure sexual desire.

They are oftentimes mental, even very complicated.

Let’s consider nine different types of crushes women will often get (and sometimes men too) and how these obsessions start.

1. Hollywood Star

Your very first crush is more about your coming-of-age moment than it is about connecting with an actual person. Maybe you remember the first celebrity guy you really thought was good looking. Well, even though you eventually grow up and no longer see the need to join a “fan club” or even send a handwritten letter to your crush (he’s probably on Twitter, so save the postage) you will periodically get crushes on big Hollywood stars. They also change drastically from one decade to the next, Burt Reynolds turned into Bruce Willis, turned into Tom Cruise who became Channing Tatum and The Rock. The good news is these crushes are harmless, just don’t expect a Star is Born kind of romance to happen anytime soon, since the odds of connecting with a celebrity (given their security guards) is pretty slim.

2. Puppy Love

Your first puppy love crush is similar to a Hollywood Celebrity Crush, in that it’s more about your coming-of-age moment than about true connection. These crushes will often come in your childhood, or maybe your teens, and you may or may not understand that it’s “lust.” If you’re younger it just feels like strong admiration for a friend. As you get older you realize you have passion for this person and you may even feel a little nervous at the thought of talking to him. This crush actually seems to go away after your teens. As you grow up, your crushes tend to evolve along with you. Puppy love is truly once in a lifetime.

3. The Lustful Crush

The natural evolution of puppy love is the lustful crush, the one where it’s fairly obvious you don’t connect with a guy – you just respond to him sexually. You’re attracted to him physically and don’t really care much about his personality. It’s not about connection, it’s all physical. You may notice his handsome face, his chiseled body, strong arms, or maybe just appreciate his unique form more than any other man. It’s not always easy to pinpoint why we lust after a particular person…but it’s easy to see that it’s a passing crush.

4. The Obsession Crush

The obsession crush can FEEL very much like love, because it is intense and you do start to think that he makes you happy. You rationalize that this is love, even though the EFFECT it has on you is usually a destructive one. These crushes can spiral out of control and become stalker-type, one-sided relationships, or they can even become friends-with-benefits situations…until you realize the guy doesn’t actually love you. In these relationships, whether consummated or not, the fantasy of the relationship (what you think will happen) is never the same as the reality.

5. The Online Crush

This crush, while seeming like a real connection, is nonetheless stuck in the fantasy realm. You’ve chatted for a long time and so you think you know each other. But you’re constantly filling in the blanks of what you don’t know, with a deluded fantasy of “wouldn’t it be nice if…?” Not surprisingly, when swooning couples who first met online finally do meet in the real world, they are often left disappointed in the flesh and blood reality of the other person. We’re not our avatars. We’re not storybook ideas. We’re people. This is why I encourage my readers to not spend the entire relationship online…go out and meet each other in person and start learning the “real” person offline.

6. The Buddy Crush

The buddy crush can actually be developing feelings for your lifelong platonic guy friend, or someone you admire at work, or even a teacher or another authority figure. These crushes all have one thing in common: you only develop feelings for them because they’re “there”, they become staples in your life, acting in your mind as a surrogate partner. The reality, however, is that you only know each other platonically and have never really connected romantically. While these relationships are not impossible, they remain very difficult to make work outside of fantasy (or casual sex). Most of these romances fail within a few months and oftentimes involve bitter breakups.

7. The Mister Wrong Crush

Finally, we come to the Mister Wrong, the guy who’s totally not right for you, the guy who you might even hate half of the time…

But the sex is good, or the romance feels so real. When it’s going good, it’s going great, right? But when it’s going bad, it’s miserable. The problem is, this dysfunctional relationship never actually improves. You resent him but feel like you need him. You don’t like him but are so invested in him, it’s hard to walk away. The problem is these relationships always seem to “happen to you”, rather than you actually going out and finding your ideal partner.

True success in finding love is about knowing who you are and figuring out what you want to be happy. Crushes can be fleeting and silly…or they can wreck your life if you don’t recognize them for what they are, and confuse them with real love. Keep reading our blog and let’s talk more about what differentiates love from crushes and infatuation.

The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life

There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…

It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…

But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…

It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…

And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…

Have you figured out what it is yet?

Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…

And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…

Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…

Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…

A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…

And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…

Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…

If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…

I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…

Click here to watch the video now <<

My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…

I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…

Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…

When you click the link this link right here <<

I show you what this 5 word phrase is…

I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…

And how to attract the man you want…

Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…

No matter how painful things have been in your past…

You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…

Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…

If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…

If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…

And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…

Click this link to watch my video right now <<