You oftentimes hear this piece of advice: make a “list” of all your ideal traits in a man before dating anyone. Make sure the guy matches that list of traits!
Sounds like a good idea, right? But once you get started, you may find it difficult to list several traits. Sure, deal breakers are easy to figure out. No abuse, no hard drugs, no cheating, no lying, and so on.
But what about good traits? What about the traits that make up a “good man”? Someone who’s head and shoulders above the rest. You know, better than all the bad boys and momma’s boys out there!
Let’s talk about that. Let’s consider seven things that all women deserve in a man and should be looking for. Bear in mind, this is not a definitive list. You should borrow from this list and create your own list so that it’s more detailed.
But reviewing this list is a start. Consider each one and then let’s discuss why it’s important.
1. You deserve a man who chases you!
First and foremost, you deserve a man who chases you – that is, he wants to win you over. He wants to date you, “officially”, and he wants to put in the work to get to know you.
If the guy you love can’t even admit what he wants or put forth an effort to (even a little effort) to progress in the relationship, you have to ask yourself a simple question. Does he love you enough? Does he want this as much as you do? If not, there’s a serious problem.
2. You deserve a man who deeply respects you.
Respect is everything in a relationship, because if a man respects you, he will not violate your boundaries. He won’t even test those boundaries, just because he can, or just because it’s fun.
A man who respects you will never try to hurt you or see what he can get away with. A man that deeply respects you will never hit you, or emotionally abuse you, because he respects you as much or even more than he does himself.
Always make respect a top quality when looking for a partner. Without respect, there is no real love.
3. You deserve a man who makes you part of his life.
What’s the opposite of a man who keeps you at arm’s length? Of course, welcoming you into his life. Not just opening the door for you – but introducing you to his family.
Letting you see how he lives and where he lives. He wants you to experience his life, well before you get together. This is a good sign because it shows he trusts you and believes in you. He knows you’re going to be a good fit.
4. You deserve a man who listens to your needs, rather than assuming them.
Lots of men can “assume” your needs. And provide only what they think you need. In his defense, all he will say is, “I’ve done this for you and that for you. (All his ideas) What more do you want?”
That’s no way to start a happy relationship! The first step is to find someone who listens to your needs and wants to help make you happy. He should not only be a provider but also a great listener.
A man that doesn’t listen doesn’t understand you. And because he never really asks what you want, he is not trying to understand you. The only needs that matter in the relationship are his own. Misery!
5. You deserve a man who wants to commit to you.
It may be hard to accept at first. But at the end of the day, you want to find a guy that WANTS to commit himself to you. A man that not only sees your value and uniqueness but also a man who is READY to commit.
He’s at a place in his life where he desires companionship and true emotional and intellectual compatibility. He doesn’t want to give you the run around because HE doesn’t appreciate his time being wasted either.
So when we say a man ready to “commit” to you, we mean he’s not just willing but ABLE to spend the rest of his life with you. He’s not just the right guy, but the right guy at the right time.
6. You deserve a man who enjoys your company and misses you when you’re gone.
This may be the most important quality at the end of the day. Because THIS is what brings a man coming back to you, regardless of age, regardless of changing circumstances. A man who enjoys your company and misses you is seriously in love.
It doesn’t matter what you look like or what arguments you may get into. Even temptation is nothing when compared to true compatibility. This compatibility and comfort is what will create loyalty and attachment and make the marriage strong.
7. You deserve a man who brings out the BEST in you.
Finally, don’t underestimate the power of positivity. It’s not necessarily that a guy has to be a cock-eyed optimist all the time. More like, his natural personality brings out the best in you.
You know how some of your exes always seemed to bring out the worst qualities? You got along well enough, but he also brought out the worst part of your personality. Maybe you became needy, aggressive, passive, or miserable when you were with him.
On the other hand, the new guy you’re with, the one you really love, the effect is completely different.
You’re happier. You’re focused and driven to do the things you want in life, not perpetually “fixing” the relationship. He knows just what to say to perk up your spirit. He knows what you need after a bad day.
He knows how to have fun, when you’re in a good mood. When you’re on vacation, he is the best partner in the world. When you have a good day, he’s always the first to say he enjoyed his time with you.
You see the difference? You bring out the best in each other. He’s on your team, on your side. There is little conflict because you match each other so well.
In conclusion, you don’t have to hold out for perfection. Just create your own list of qualities and stick to it. As you can see, these are not fairy tale qualities. Not impossible standards. This is a realistic breakdown of what any relationship needs to progress and become a loving marriage.
You can find a man with these qualities if you set your mind to it!
10 Man-Melting Phrases That Make Him Yours
Have you heard of the secret words that unlock a man’s heart and make him addicted to loving you and only you?
They’re called “The Love Frames” and you’ll be BLOWN away by this…
Click here to discover them <<
If you’re ready to have a man…
…fall madly in love with you…
…start treating you like a gentleman should…
…obsessively thinking about you when you’re not around…
…and treating you like the #1 priority in his life…
You have to go discover The Love Frames…
Then just use them on ANY man in your life…
Maybe your boyfriend, husband or fiancée…
Maybe that cute guy you have a crush on…
And watch how he lights up when you’re around…
How he can’t wait to see you again…
How he becomes yours and yours alone…
Click here to discover The Love Frames now <<
You can thank me later!
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. You’ll be the first thing he thinks about in the morning…
And the last thing he thinks about before going to bed…
Thank you Matt! This is awesome. I am new on the dating scene.
Thank you Matt!
Thank you!
This list is spot on! Thank you for this eye opener.
Thanks my gut texts me in am and at night before he goes to bed
I’m in a long distance relationship for 9mths. He won’t sleep if I don’t sleep with him on the phone. Is that natural or what that means in a relationship please.
Very true, Matt. I met a wonderful guy just a year ago. He treats me so well and understands me. And says “I love you” every day. We have so much fun together and respect each other as well. The list of seven things I deserve from a man and our relationship he has fulfilled. He is my best friend and we work hard every day to maximize our commitment to one another.
And my husband fits… none of these. As much as I love him, as much as there’s been a bit of hopeful encouraging progress in our communication, I think it’s time to go on about my own life, without contacting or thinking about him again. Nigh impossible, though.
Hi I’ve broke up with my ex of 5 years,I’ve never met his family friends.He moved in 3 years ago.I found out all his mail goes to another womans house.No explanation and the woman denies knowing him .I’m left very confused,hurt and angry.