6 Signs He Likes You But Is Afraid Of Rejection

Here’s a little secret that’s not actually a secret the more you think about it. Most men are not naturally confident. Confidence is attractive in men, sure and men know this. But confidence is either learned, faked, or felt as a direct result of making good choices in life. It’s not surprising to learn that some men – even the ones who appear to be very confident and smooth in conversation – are still afraid of rejection.

This could be because some men suffer from low self-esteem, which is very common in families where a mother figure was emotionally unstable or absent altogether. That man might be very confident in situations where he feels in control, or when he is very good at a hobby or profession. That confidence comes from practice and knowledge. When he’s out of his element, however, especially when he’s meeting new people and attractive women, he might start to feel self-conscious.

Suddenly, he’s not entirely sure what he should say. Worse yet, he’s afraid of being rejected, because that will make him feel even more anxious. Whether you reject him because of what he says, or what he’s wearing, or just his body shape and face, or if he happens to be at the wrong place and the wrong time, it all feels the same to him!

Now from your perspective, rejection is just a part of life. You have to reject some guys because, well, a lot of men want you but are not right for you. You’re looking for a relationship where there’s true compatibility. But to a lot of men, rejection feels like the end of the world. Maybe they feel like they’re ugly and un-dateable, or have something wrong with them, or are getting older, and so on and so on.

Therefore, if you like a guy and you notice he hasn’t asked you out it’s very possible that he does like you but is too afraid of rejection to make a move. If this is the case, he might be waiting for you to give him some positive signals that encourage him to take a chance.

The best thing to do, to avoid embarrassing him or you, is to analyze his gestures, his movements, word choices, voice and other factors. You might be able to see signs that he is interested in you and that maybe a little encouragement will go a long way. Here are six sure signs to look for…

1. He stares at you or glances at you when you’re not looking.

Staring is actually common with shy guys. He might be testing you, or working up the courage to say something. Maybe he’ll just give you that deer-in-headlights look if you caught him staring unexpectedly. Then again, if he’s very shy he might have mastered the art of looking away to avoid detection. Keep an eye on him and try to catch him looking when he least expects it.

Shy men tend to gaze at women they like. He might look into your eyes, check out your figure, or stare at you while you speak to him in a funny way. It’s usually not your imagination. Men who are not into you, don’t gaze!

2. His behavior, voice and gestures change when he’s around you.

When a man loses his confidence, usually because of sexual tension he feels, he suddenly becomes very self-aware. He talks at a higher pitch, a slower pace. He might sound nervous or he might talk too much, desperately avoiding awkward silence.

This self-awareness is very evidence if you notice he only seems to do this when he’s around you, but is fine around other friends. You are the source of discomfort, and unless you insulted his mother or something, that’s usually because of sexual tension.

3. He makes funny or awkward jokes.

Men who are crushing on you tend to be giggly and so will crack a few jokes just as an excuse to share a laugh with you. If he’s a shy guy he will sound awkward and may even make weird or “creepy” remarks, admitting that he likes you. But he’ll do it in such a roundabout way, you might not be sure what he’s saying. He might also admit he thinks you’re beautiful, or something else complimentary, because that shows interest without risking much embarrassment.

Even men who are naturally confident tend to turn up to the volume when it comes to laughter. He’ll work hard to make you laugh and will make it his job to keep you entertained all night.

4. He is hot then cold then hot…

Why do men do the hot and cold thing? Easy answer, because they’re confused about what they want. If you notice your crush all over you one minute and then cold and aloof the next, it’s likely that he is trying to resist you for some reason. It might be shyness, or it could even be that he’s married, or has a girlfriend, or has other obligations that he believes might interfere with a serious relationship.

5. He is conspicuously quiet about that other guy…

Even shy guys are easily and visibly disturbed by feelings of jealousy. Talking about other guys who are interested in you, or just the idea of you dating someone else, will get him riled up. He might start criticizing your other suitors or he might become moody at the topic of conversation.

6. He is trying a little too hard to impress you.

It’s just what men do. Friends are there for you, but they seldom do special favors, or try to talk to you for minutes on end, or write long letters, or come up with fascinating topics of conversation, or new jokes…you get the idea. The harder he works to keep your attention, the more likely he’s into you but unsure of how to broach the subject.

Guys that are into you also tend to brag about their accomplishments a little more than usual. Friends don’t care much about your achievements. Shy guys who want to “wow” you will try to sell you on their skills, their funny anecdotes, or other allusions to success.

I don’t believe that “you just know” if a guy is into you. Sometimes signals can be confusing. It’s also not unusual for a woman to project her own feelings onto a guy that only likes her as a friend. The real question to ask yourself is how hard is he working to get my attention on a regular basis? The effort he puts forth, even if it’s very subtle at first, directly relates to how much he desires you.

Just as an experiment, the next time he does something subtle that seems unusual, reward him by showing him a little more interest. Try escalating the relationship by giving him positive reinforcement every time he flirts or does something to please you. You might be surprised at how quickly things heat up!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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