You know the number one sign that shows a man needs space in the relationship? When he tells you, in the middle of an awkward conversation, “I think I just need some space!”

The problem is by the time he actually tells you what he “needs” it’s usually too late. His heart is gone, his mind is elsewhere. Sadly, he may already have another woman in mind for when he gets his “space.”

I advise you to start paying attention to little signs as soon as you notice them, even if you barely notice them. Noticing a minor problem now might prevent a total breakdown of the relationship later on.

But don’t just rely on your intuition. Here are six definite signs of a guy needing space that everyone can agree on.

1. He might not be saying it…but he’s definitely giving himself some space in action.

Has your boyfriend or friend been avoiding you lately? Does he take longer to answer your calls and texts? Does he lay low rather than join you on the weekends? When you first ask him about it, he may claim he’s just having a bad day. But if he consistently pushes you away with this passive behavior, something is definitely bothering him. He’s giving himself space without asking you…meaning he’s afraid to admit the truth. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Or maybe he doesn’t think you can handle his honesty. Whatever the case, his unwillingness to spend time with you says a lot.

2. He hasn’t been very available lately, even when he’s there.

Men tend to become less communicative when they’re unhappy. True, there is such a thing as a “strong silent type”, but even so, you can always tell if he’s quiet and happy or if he seems stressed and silent. It’s usually not your imagination when you sense that he’s acting weird, or distant, or even pouting. You may not understand what the problem is, but he’s obviously bothered by something you said or something that happened.

It may not be your fault at all! But an emotionally absent man is stewing…and the longer he holds his resentment in, the more strained your relationship becomes. Ask him what’s wrong and if he tries to deny it, let him know that you can sense his frustration and that you want to talk it over.

3. He’s gone from being the pursuer to the pursued.

As a relationship progresses, what sometimes happens is that the woman becomes more assertive and enthusiastic, while the guy sits back and lets her plan everything. It works…at first. But over time, the man becomes resentful when it seems as if he’s lost all power in the relationship.

It has nothing to do with power…he simply isn’t chasing her anymore. He doesn’t feel that strong attraction and sense of romance. He never gets to initiate plans anymore. The relationship has stalled and lost some of that edge—the dynamic he started by chasing you.

If you’ve noticed your guy isn’t trying as hard lately or seems to just sit back and lit you plan everything (and seems a bit sour all the time) then this is a definite sign that he misses the chase and wants back some of his independence.

4. When he does communicate, he seems argumentative and defensive.

What was once a peaceful and fun dynamic lately seems more confrontational. You make little remarks and he takes offense. He searches for hidden meanings in your words. He seems to want to argue lately, rather than be his usual charming self.

Why do people get so defensive? It’s a sign of being wounded. Something’s hurting him inside, whether it’s his own demons, something you said, or a different matter altogether. He may be thinking something of you that isn’t true.

But until you talk about it, resentment only builds. He needs time to heal and to be alone with his own thoughts. But he also needs to know that if something is bothering him, he can always come to you. Let him know this, but then allow him as much space as he needs.

5. He seems unusually honest lately…almost bitterly honest.

The angrier men get, the more honest they become. If only they could be honest and do away with that angry tone of voice, right? So if your guy seems distant lately, look for those moments of honesty where he shares how he really feels…even if it’s just a suspicious statement or vaguely alluding to something. He usually delivers his honest statement under his breath or with a sarcastic tone of voice. Don’t fall for the trap and become defensive with him. Ask him what he means in a calm voice and see what’s really bothering him. Let him know that he can always be honest with you.

6. He’s keeping secrets and avoiding conversations.

An honorable man will make it a point never to lie…but chances are, if he’s unhappy about something he will tend to avoid conversations. He may even keep you in the dark about certain things, such as his schedule, his friendships with other women, and what he really thinks about something. If you ask him about it, he seems to come up with some strange excuses. In his mind, if he can avoid telling you the truth (but not actually lie) he will try to do so to get his way.

Which just brings us to the main point of “space”: men want space and time alone, it’s just part of their nature. That’s why it’s best not to talk them out of it. You’re fighting against forces of nature.

Rather than confront him, thereby forcing him to censor his thoughts (and silently resent you) let him go and wander. Let him feel safe and free to be independent.

Then, when he comes back—after getting some alone time and realizing he misses you—he will be ready to share.

If you notice any of these signs, then start taking the initiative now. Back away a few steps and let him find peace. If he really likes you, he will pursue you again…because that’s what men love to do!

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    29 replies to "6 Signs He Just Needs Some Space But Still Loves You"

    • Sherri Collins

      Hey sorry I’ve never experienced this so I’m a little uncertain wat to do,

      • Matthew Coast

        Why would you need to do something if you never experienced it?

    • Sharon

      What do I do

    • Sonja Hoffman

      Hello, my name is Sonja & i live in Lompoc CA, been here for a little over 3 years & everything u were saying is wut has taken place wit my now called X, his nsme is Eric. I never seen this coming but all the other signs such as pulling away, not communicationg and always argue back at me when only asking a question, our showers together were not happening like they were, but he had no problem talking on his tablet or cell, then he would even gi inside to the bathroom & be in there for a least a good hour or so, things like that. And then in August he was asked if our son Eysn could go to Magic mountain And Eric said not euthout him, to far away without dad so all he could say when he told me about it is im sorry, but i know he wasnt, to me thats a place mom & dad would like to take their 3 yr old son, not dome other chick & her 5 kids, so ya i was a bit hurt & upset s I think they left now that was on the 13 of August, come the 15 of August he has on his FB that he is in a relationship wit her and then proceeds to tell me he is moving in wut her, niw they have known of eachother for sbout 11 yrs as acquaintance. I still love him very much even tho he has hurt me wut other flings & having a baby wit another but he wanted only me to help raise him so i moved from Oregon where my family & friends r
      We had the plan for me to move here after i took care if some things,ifinslly got here 3 years ago when baby Eyan was iust 2months old im his only mommy he knows & loves very much. I guess i can honestly say that this past ywar wit Eric has been worst out of 15 years together & long distance. He kept saying how can i care or love anyone if i cant care or love myself, he didnt even want to communicate or talk or anything, i kept hearing littke things ppl were saying about him moving out so i asked him and he kept telling no, then the day of the 15th he was gathering some of hid things and i asked him again r u moving out & in with her and he said at first idk i said I keep hearing u r so r u or not & thats when he finally said ya i guess then he said that im moving out. He told me wutever happenes between him & i he will never keep Eyan away from me bcuz im his only mom he knows and loves me very much and he couldn’t do tha to to us. Thing that sucks is i still love him, in fact we have even had a few get togethers just him & i & u can figure the rest. I just dont understand why he would do that to me after so many years and i was faithful to him always. Wut do i do? Input plz ty

      • BELINDA SHAW

        I HAVE SAT WHERE YOU ARE SITTING I KNOW YOUR PAIN, HOW CAN WE DEMAND RESPECT IF WE DON’T RESPECT OURSELVES, GOOGLE, DOORMAT WOMAN THAT IS WHAT WE WERE, YOU ARE A GOOD WOMAN I SEE IT AS HIS LOSS, WE ALLOWED THEM TO STEAL OUR DIGNITY I AM TRYING TO LOVE MYSELF BEFORE I DEMAND IT FROM ANYONE ELSE . JESUS LOVES YOU AND SO DO ME, YOU ARE AN EXTRAORDINARY WOMAN A MASTERPIECE NO OTHER WOMAN HAS YOUR FINGERPRINTS, GODS WAY OF SAYING YOU ARE HIS PRECIOUS RARE JEWEL, TAKE CARE OF HIS JEWEL, RESPECTFULLY YOURS

        • June

          Best answer I’ve heard yet.

    • Zainab

      Hello
      My man lately don’t call me and when i calls he don’t pick the call and it take him time to reply my text and call.
      He also told me he love and want to marry me,What should i do.

      • Sylvia

        Say goodbye to him.

    • Al

      What do we do to allow him space?

      • Sylvia

        Don’t contact

    • Anne

      Where is that video

      Anne

    • Darlene Tatman

      I’ve been in the relationship on and off for 20 years but he keeps playing the same head games. He lived with me for 5 years we have 6 kid’s between us he’s cheated every since the day i met him except for 1 year and during that time we we’re never apart then one day he went back to his old ways of women and drugs now he’s like he’s in limbo wanting a life with me but keeps chasing after this women that treats him bad… help me to understand of what or something that might help us so we can be a family

      • Matthew Coast

        You can’t force a man to stop being a cheater and a liar and a drug user. He has to make that decision for himself. My suggestion is that you spend some time healing, working on yourself, and taking care of your family.

        I also think you should join our community and get support from the women there – https://www.facebook.com/groups/goddesscommunity/

    • Tina

      I have been in relationship over 7 yrs with a man we don’t live together and does all things mentioned also when he does answer calls he cuts me short and hangs up does not want me to ask any questions or or discuss anything emotionally.when we do spend time together we sit apart and he never wants to communicate or do anything..he rejects my affection and has been over 2 yrs since we were intimate..He says he truly lives me however his actions speak much louder than his words..im the one he seems to come to in time of need for something or money and I’m honestly fed up with our relationship.So can you please give some advice how to tell him we need to part as I’ve tried many times and he gets very angry and then tries to do everything he should to rope me in again..i know I deserve and want better j7st not sure how to break away and stay away.Please help

    • Jenn

      But he also needs to know that if something is bothering him, he can always come to you. Let him know this = how to make him know this? ,
      but then allow him as much space as he needs = gave him that space alrdy w/1,5-2 yrs almost 3 yrs no com, wasted time as he kept hold the resentment, which I don’t know the cause as I don’t know when I did what he accused, is it possible he has traumas/emotional baggage from his previous relationship which hasn’t healed yet so that anger wrongly was addressed to me? yet I think he wants to punish me by silent treatment n not willing to talk abt it or initiating the conversation..? gaslighting, breadcrumbing, etc. Why a man wouldnt initiate a conversation with a woman if he really likes/loves her like what he said? Or he’s just lying that he has no courage to initiate the conversation.? bcoz he might also have dated others?

    • Jenn

      I guess I want to change my question…If a guy said really love u, can’t sleep, miss u so much etc asked u to text/contact him first, not ever willing to initiate to contact, n tried before to text him first but he didn’t reply, weirdly keep saying love u, miss u, can’t sleep,etc but no action/effort to contact me, like I describe before, what should I do? Is he just playing to hurt me?

    • Melissa

      Omg #6. I am not even sure secrets is the right word, but keeping you in the dark. and for truthful, honorable men it wont be huge big time things. Little silly things that make you go, huh?

      There was/is some horrible tragedy that happened in the family of guy i was dating and cause had to take unpaid leave for funerals and other family matters, work became a mess too. It all became too much. Everything you mentioned slowly started to happened even though tried to give space too but some contact. But in Jan had to tell him i was not upset or had any hard feelings but wanted to hinor what he needed. And when he was ready, wanted to listen to him.

      Before all this, i knew he was a withdrawer to deal with things, but not not sure *really* big things can take lonng time.

      I can say, keeping these things in my can also put your mind at ease some. You still will feel things. But if for some reason he never came back, i will miss my best friend, but will not have animosity or think poorly on him. I think that would be a first.

    • Cami

      I starting seeing this guy, and the beginning was very nice sweet and all good, and after we were intimate one time, all of a sudden he is avoiding me.

    • Tonya Couch

      Very helpful insight

    • Kerri

      I have been seeing a guy for 2 years it’s a long distance thing and he does going distant every now and then but he always comes back he he is a police officer So he work is busy especially now but this time it’s seems different, normally when he goes distant we still send the odd txt ect but this time I’ve heard from him twice in 4 weeks and one of those txts was to tell me he has a lot going on at the moment and he doesn’t mean to be rude, but iv asked him to be straight and honest with me and tell me if he wants to stop or continue and iv heard nothing back I really don’t know what to do it’s like he has cut me off with no explanation can you help please xx

    • Roseann Loasby

      My grandson has just gone through this almost exactly. His girlfriend wanted him around her all of the time even if only on the phone. When they ran out of things to say she would insist he stay on the phone. Boring and controlling. He played Fortnight and wanted to talk with his teammates. She became extremely jealous and he became resentful of her control and insecurities. She made statements on Facebook etc… He still loved her but couldn’t live like that. He broke it off. Months later she is still trying to get him back to the point of stalking. She still calls and massages many many times a day and night, even parking her car outside his window at night. Everyday she massages family members and friends asking about him to there point of spying. Been over 4 months and she won’t stop. He still loves her and if she changed could see a future with her. *

      • Rose Brown

        she needs to read these suggestions from Matthew, I have had insecurities and jealousy too. Next time she contacts a family member have them send her a link to this and or other suggestions from Matthew. It has helped me tremendously.

    • 808islandgirl

      I met him on line we were seeing each other for 7 months for 5months he was really into me. Then he started just cold and distant. So I completely stop communication for 3 months. Then I finally text few him weeks ago and told him why. And he pretends that idk what I was talking about. Anyways I’m confused coz if I text him he’ll respond but that’s it. I just don’t feel like calling him and making a conversation over the phone with him. I have a lot more to say but I wanna tell him in person. Would that be ok?

    • ELLAH GRACE

      Helpful, so if he needs can I leave him and give him space?

    • Carol

      I don’t know exactly how to “give him space” but at the same time letting him know it’s safe to come back.
      So apart from the above 6 signs, I can feel that he has been pulling away and has been cold and distant, so I suggested that we take a break and he agreed. Is it a good way to give him the space?
      And while having this break, I suppose we don’t contact each other, right? Then how shall I let him know that I would be here if he needs to talk?
      If he is really giving this relationship a second thought before he decided to cut things off, isn’t it necessary to have an honest mature talk and let each other know what’s exactly the problem? Maybe there were some misunderstanding in between, that we can talk it out and solve the problem? Or even if we both decide to move on, I need to know how I can do better in the next relationship.
      And, space or break or whatever that he needs, how long shall I give him before I move on? Do you suggest that we can actually go on dates in the mean time?

    • Jaa

      My Husband has recently admitted to me that he is cheating and I tried giving him space because his answer to me was that he didn’t know what he wanted and he just needed to get his head on straight. I didn’t bother him and he didn’t want to talk about it, but he keeps telling me he loves me and he lft for two days with the other woman and came back. I still have not had proof of that, but I know that is what and where he was. He still doesn’t want to talk about it, but says we are going to stay together, but he still excepts her calls and he calls her almost everyday. What am I missing and how can I handle this?

    • Nana

      I have given him space but now I can see he want me to reach him but I don’t want to do it.what should I do? Thanks

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