You know the number one sign that shows a man needs space in the relationship? When he tells you, in the middle of an awkward conversation, “I think I just need some space!”
The problem is by the time he actually tells you what he “needs” it’s usually too late. His heart is gone, his mind is elsewhere. Sadly, he may already have another woman in mind for when he gets his “space.”
I advise you to start paying attention to little signs as soon as you notice them, even if you barely notice them. Noticing a minor problem now might prevent a total breakdown of the relationship later on.
But don’t just rely on your intuition. Here are six definite signs of a guy needing space that everyone can agree on.
1. He might not be saying it…but he’s definitely giving himself some space in action.
Has your boyfriend or friend been avoiding you lately? Does he take longer to answer your calls and texts? Does he lay low rather than join you on the weekends? When you first ask him about it, he may claim he’s just having a bad day. But if he consistently pushes you away with this passive behavior, something is definitely bothering him. He’s giving himself space without asking you…meaning he’s afraid to admit the truth. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Or maybe he doesn’t think you can handle his honesty. Whatever the case, his unwillingness to spend time with you says a lot.
2. He hasn’t been very available lately, even when he’s there.
Men tend to become less communicative when they’re unhappy. True, there is such a thing as a “strong silent type”, but even so, you can always tell if he’s quiet and happy or if he seems stressed and silent. It’s usually not your imagination when you sense that he’s acting weird, or distant, or even pouting. You may not understand what the problem is, but he’s obviously bothered by something you said or something that happened.
It may not be your fault at all! But an emotionally absent man is stewing…and the longer he holds his resentment in, the more strained your relationship becomes. Ask him what’s wrong and if he tries to deny it, let him know that you can sense his frustration and that you want to talk it over.
3. He’s gone from being the pursuer to the pursued.
As a relationship progresses, what sometimes happens is that the woman becomes more assertive and enthusiastic, while the guy sits back and lets her plan everything. It works…at first. But over time, the man becomes resentful when it seems as if he’s lost all power in the relationship.
It has nothing to do with power…he simply isn’t chasing her anymore. He doesn’t feel that strong attraction and sense of romance. He never gets to initiate plans anymore. The relationship has stalled and lost some of that edge—the dynamic he started by chasing you.
If you’ve noticed your guy isn’t trying as hard lately or seems to just sit back and lit you plan everything (and seems a bit sour all the time) then this is a definite sign that he misses the chase and wants back some of his independence.
4. When he does communicate, he seems argumentative and defensive.
What was once a peaceful and fun dynamic lately seems more confrontational. You make little remarks and he takes offense. He searches for hidden meanings in your words. He seems to want to argue lately, rather than be his usual charming self.
Why do people get so defensive? It’s a sign of being wounded. Something’s hurting him inside, whether it’s his own demons, something you said, or a different matter altogether. He may be thinking something of you that isn’t true.
But until you talk about it, resentment only builds. He needs time to heal and to be alone with his own thoughts. But he also needs to know that if something is bothering him, he can always come to you. Let him know this, but then allow him as much space as he needs.
5. He seems unusually honest lately…almost bitterly honest.
The angrier men get, the more honest they become. If only they could be honest and do away with that angry tone of voice, right? So if your guy seems distant lately, look for those moments of honesty where he shares how he really feels…even if it’s just a suspicious statement or vaguely alluding to something. He usually delivers his honest statement under his breath or with a sarcastic tone of voice. Don’t fall for the trap and become defensive with him. Ask him what he means in a calm voice and see what’s really bothering him. Let him know that he can always be honest with you.
6. He’s keeping secrets and avoiding conversations.
An honorable man will make it a point never to lie…but chances are, if he’s unhappy about something he will tend to avoid conversations. He may even keep you in the dark about certain things, such as his schedule, his friendships with other women, and what he really thinks about something. If you ask him about it, he seems to come up with some strange excuses. In his mind, if he can avoid telling you the truth (but not actually lie) he will try to do so to get his way.
Which just brings us to the main point of “space”: men want space and time alone, it’s just part of their nature. That’s why it’s best not to talk them out of it. You’re fighting against forces of nature.
Rather than confront him, thereby forcing him to censor his thoughts (and silently resent you) let him go and wander. Let him feel safe and free to be independent.
Then, when he comes back—after getting some alone time and realizing he misses you—he will be ready to share.
If you notice any of these signs, then start taking the initiative now. Back away a few steps and let him find peace. If he really likes you, he will pursue you again…because that’s what men love to do!
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