Are you worried about your new long distance relationship lasting another year?
Sure, it’s intimidating when you realize you may have to wait year or even years to finally be together. You might have to finish school, or finish a job, or move entirely to be with the person you love.
You may even have to move to another country, or at least help your future boyfriend come into your country and state of residence. Or you may simply be relocating to a different city.
Maybe you have to wait because of religious differences, like converting to a different faith, or have to wait until various financial situations pan out.
Or maybe you’re even in lockdown because of a pandemic, and have to wait until one or both of you can travel again to be reunited.
Whatever the case, we all experience the same frustration.
You miss him. You wish you could be together now. The idea of waiting another year is daunting. How can your love survive another testing period?
Sure, it’s challenging. But it doesn’t have to be the painful ordeal that it seems like. It WILL get better.
What I’m going to do is share some relationship-saving tips right now. If you can remember these and apply these tips at the right time, you are going to make it. And it won’t feel as lonely as you might think. It’s going to get better!
1. Let your trust in each other be stronger than jealousy.
Too many long distance relationships are eroded by distrust and jealousy. We all get a little jealous, I know. But ask yourself is your jealousy motivated by something positive – the attention of your parent, which is healthy? Or are you simply feeling possessive, as if your partner owes you loyalty?
Do you assume the worst of him? Do you imagine the worst-case scenario, and anticipate his infidelity? How can that possibly be a healthy relationship? Part of maintaining a love bond together is thinking the BEST of your partner and trusting them – that they have self-control and they appreciate the value in this relationship.
2. Be clear about your goals and the level of commitment you want.
Many LDR partners make the mistake of assuming something good is coming along…without ever discussing those future plans in detail. What do you want out of this relationship? What does he wants? Where does it end, where is the happily ever after?
If you’re commitment phobic, or sense that he is, it might feel right to postpone talk of commitment – even indefinitely.
But if that’s the case, you’re not really seeing the value in him OR yourself – or this promising relationship! How can you not drift apart, if one or both of you sense this is going nowhere?
Saying “I want you” or “I need you” sounds good in the moment. But that’s nothing concrete, that’s nothing a partner can take with them, as a promise of love. That’s why it’s very important to talk about your future together – when the time is right and you’re in love.
3. Try to check in every day or something close to it.
Don’t be embarrassed to touch base every day, even if it’s little “love taps” of instant messages. Some days are going to be busy. Some days are going to be better and will merit a long phone conversation. Some days will even get a video conference!
But are you staying in contact? Touching base every day shouldn’t feel like a chore – and it won’t, if your goal is to help your partner feel better. Be positive and supportive of him and his daily life. He will look forward to your messages. They will inspire him and give him that extra oomph he needs to finish the day’s work.
4. Be adaptable when it comes to various social media and devices.
Try not to be too demanding when it comes to doing things a certain way – even if that’s your routine. Technology is changing. Instant messaging works for some, but others prefer a phone call. Others want video chat with voice, and it’s available on a number of platforms – from Zoom, to Skype, Google Meetings, dating apps, and the like.
You do have to be a little flexible, especially when it comes to downloading new apps that your partner might find comfortable. What matters is that you are connecting in person, in whatever way you both find convenient. You are doing things you enjoy together, whether on webcam or by telephone. You’re sharing these moments and that’s what counts.
5. Don’t hide how you feel. Be honest with each other but try to stay positive.
As you grow closer together, you may conflicted as to how much you want to share. Do you really want to confide in him and share everything – even the doubts, the negative thoughts, and the anxiety? Or do you want to always be “on”, giving him a great show, or a “great date”?
The answer is actually somewhere in the middle. No, you don’t want to be acting or always putting your best foot forward. That’s not what a relationship should be. You should always feel free to tell the truth, be honest, and speak from the heart.
But at the same time, if every thought you have is toxic, negative, or anxious? Well, it’s not necessarily that you should censor yourself for his sake. More like, you need to help yourself – you need to recondition yourself to be positive and see the value in life. See the value in this wonderful relationship!
Find things to be grateful for, find sources of positivity and share those things with him too. Then, he will think of you not as a source of constant negativity – but someone who sees the truth in life. The good times, the bad times, the ugly times…sure, sometimes. But most of all, you see the joy in living. That’s one of the reasons he will always love you.
6. Make full opportunity to nurture the relationship in person, not just online.
Finally, never forget the one thing that a long distance relationship needs – in person bonding! Don’t be afraid to meet in person as often as you can. Don’t shy away from taking the “fantasy” of online dating into the reality of flesh and blood – touching, hugging, and kissing!
Yeah, things are hard at the moment because of social distancing and the like. But at some point the obstacles that divide you are going to float away, and you’ll have the opportunity you do desperately need. Don’t lose track of what you want: an IRL physical relationship!
Keep these tips in mind. If you put forth the effort, and always see the value in your partner and in the loving relationship you’ve built together, you can make this work. Whether it’s for another year or even five years, your love will only grow stronger.
Make His Heart Crave You Even If You’re Far Away
Let’s face it, most long distance relationships are hard… and most of them don’t even last 5 months.
What if the distance could actually make you feel closer together?
What if you could make him miss and crave you, even when you’re far apart?
Most women actually push a man further away in a long distance relationship when they want to make him come closer.
There’s one thing you need to do to be different… to make your relationship last… to make this situation bring you closer together… to make him value and crave you, even if he’s far apart from you.
Want to know what it is?
P.S. If you want to make his heart crave you, no matter how far away you are from him… do this…