I hear this a lot and sometimes I wonder how many times dating coaches repeat the lesson as well…
“It’s too late. You messed that relationship up…it’s best you just move on with your life and find somebody else.”
That’s something you hear a lot, read a lot, and probably get from even your closest friends. And I can say from experience, it hurts a lot to hear something like that when you’re still in love with your ex, or your crush.
Usually what happens is that the guy you like starts chasing you, then you fall for him, and then you start chasing him, in a sense. Over time, he loses interest and wants his independence back. You’re not sure what went wrong, but his entire attitude changed!
So is it true? Is there such a thing as wearing out your welcome and destroying the intimacy of a relationship beyond all repair?
Well, of course there is. I mean, let’s be honest. If a relationship consists of fighting, screaming, physical abuse, gaslighting, and plotting to kill each other, that one’s a goner!
But, at the same time, I do think the expression “Just forget him and move on” is used way too much. Worst of all, it’s used for relationships that are not necessarily unhealthy, nor are they unsalvageable.
Sometimes people are too quick to say, “Forget him, you deserve better…” without remembering the simple fact that your heart loves who it loves. You know what you want. You still love HIM. The relationship was not toxic. You both just made some mistakes. And ideally, you want him back, you want that relationship to be saved.
And as for the whole “Just move on” thing, it’s actually a pretty bad idea to date a guy that you don’t love, don’t want to try to love, and are just using to forget your ex.
If you really want your ex back (or even your crush that lost interest in you) then YES, I do believe there is a way to win him back – even if you did the chasing, and he backed away. You can make him chase you again and here’s how to do it.
1. Give him the gift of confusion!
Maybe you’ve heard of the “gift of missing you” before. But let’s take it a step further and say, in this specific case, the gift of confusion is something that’s really going to make him crazy – and in a good way. If you’ve chased a guy and then he backed away (whether a relationship started or not) then don’t give him the gift of forgiveness or comfort or safety.
Give him the gift of confusion by backing away just the same – and NOT explaining it. Not acknowledging it. Just matching his energy and then seeing what he does about it.
Usually, what happens is that he gets confused, concerned, and then chases you again, making sure there’s still a mutual attraction. That brings us to the next point…
2. Project more mystery, less motherly care.
It’s no coincidence he seems more intrigued when you’re mysterious, not so transparent, and giving off that vibe like “What is going on in her mind?” It’s the kind of thing that’s so simple and yet it can drive a man crazy. He will start to analyze the signs that you like him, but continue to be perplexed at why you always hide information, choose not to share stories, and frankly, keep him guessing.
It’s not really playing mind games – it’s just making him work harder for that level of intimacy and honesty. A lot of guys will get bored of a relationship when a woman confides everything within a few weeks (including sex). That’s why long-term relationships require long-term courting! (Hey, they should make a meme out of that)
3. Be less available and have the “stock price” of your life soar.
One way to naturally project more mystery is to simply be less available all the time. If you started chasing him and then killed his interest in the relationship, it’s time to STOP doing what you were doing and go in reverse. Namely, stop being there for him and get busy doing other things that you always wanted to do.
Think of it this way. Pretend like you broke up with him but are still friends. That’s the distance you need to show him that the dynamic has changed. You’re not bitter, you’re not overly sensitive. You have feelings for him as a friend but the romance has passed by now.
Something funny will start to happen. He will sense you’re too busy to chase him anymore and this will pique his interest. You might say, your “stock will rise” again in his mind. Your social value increases and he now regrets that he doesn’t have ALL of you, the way he did before.
That means he’s back to square one and he will miss the romance that he took for granted. He will want it back and that’s part of the attraction. But that’s not all…
4. Create a life worth chasing – and sing about it.
To further pull him back at an almost magnetic level, it’s time to make your LIFE more attractive, in addition to the idea of a romance. It’s true and sometimes sad…but men DO fall in love with a woman’s personality and the LIFE she has created for herself.
That’s why men are always going to go after women who do good things, help people in need, are kind to family and friends, have an exciting career, have amazing hobbies and artistic skills, and that sort of thing.
Your personality is partly shaped by the things you do and the stuff you find interesting. He gets a sense of your entire life by the things you talk about, the thoughts that go through your mind, and yes, the ACTIONS you take to create the life you’re happy with. Improving your life is the best way to get a man to chase you, as he realizes you are not just compatible – but someone truly out of the ordinary.
5. You don’t want his lust…you want him to realize he needs you in his life.
Finally, don’t underestimate what actually gets men chasing women – beyond beauty and the superficial things in life.
People very much exaggerate how important lust is to a man. Sure, men look and fantasize and so on. But men are actually far more likely to chase something they are MISSING IN LIFE, that’s beyond sex.
Men don’t value sex a great deal because they know they can get it if they want it. But what makes a man chase a woman and actually want to get married is to fulfill a need that he has, that no one else can give him.
Someone that can understand him, someone he can confide in, and someone that brings balance and clarity to the things he wants in life. That’s fulfilling a complicated need, a family dynamic that’s beyond lust. Give him a relationship – a FEELING – to chase and he will chase you until the very end!
This makes him see you as the One Special Woman in his life…
If you’re struggling with a man who plays “hot and cold,” is slipping away, or taking you for granted…
And you want him to see you as “the one special woman” in his life…
Then you’re probably missing this one strange secret…
Click here to discover the secret <<
This one thing makes a man feel an irresistible desire to pursue you…
…invest in you…
…fight for you…
…and move mountains to please you and be with you.
If you’re ready to finally be seen and cherished by the man you choose, you may just need to just do or say one thing differently.
Click here to be cherished by the man you want <<
P.S. Even if a man is pulling away, ignoring you, or taking you for granted…
You can completely change the way he sees you and make him yours with this one little secret…
Click here to discover the secret that will make his heart yours <<
16 thoughts on “5 Ways to Get Him Chasing You (Even If You Chased Him)”
Hi Matthew. I appreciate your insights especially from a male perspective. Would like to clarify that you mean men chasing WOMEN in the beginning of tip five?
You have really solid advice that had helped me to get the man of my dreams.
Thank you from my deepest heart
Thank you so much Matthew. This is exactly what I need right now. You are awesome!
I’m now having nightmares about my x husband and in it I’ve lost the him. He makes it clear he’s over me.
I left him and hurt him maybe 7 years ago. On at least 3 occasions we have tried again but his hurt he feels always brings out the worst in him, so we failed.
I love him and will never move on. We were married for 35 year with 3 children. He lives abroad now. My last stab was to absolutely open up in March and that had absolutely the opposite effect that I’d hoped.
He now has become very distance plus has implied he’s move on!!
I’m Heart broken and I can’t let go. I’ve tried very hard to not chase recently but it’s a daily battle . He’s alway on my mind n it’s torchere. I’m hoping to see him at our sons wedding and that’s my desperate hope.
He’s seems settle living abroad and has I believe found a sanctuary
March 7th, 2022
Hi Matthew, my name is Carolena.
My question is; is it possible after years of chasing the man that I love, and will always love & have Dated/seen off & on & now we are actually Dating ( A Couple) again, is it possible for him to fall madly in love with me this time & stay even though he now has bought a house with his Mother ?
He’s a very busy guy ( Military / Plumber) but he says he wants to be in a relationship with me & he’s ready to go the long distance / all the way.
But he’s still not sure if he wants to get married someday ( I just found out).
I need your help Matthew but I just don’t have the funds right now to give you; can you still help me?
How to apply the suggestions while living together?
I have the same question….how do you apply these suggestions while living together?
Living with a man you’re not married to a is plain stupid..u should set ur deal breakers before hand itsvwomen like you that ruin the whole thing for everyone else pickmeshia
I got my stuff out of my ex’s yesterday and he actually wanted to get back together after a year. I just had him sign the divorce papers yesterday as well. My husband was diagnosed as a narcissistic.. it’s been a year and my husband has really never tried to get back together. Now he wants too? He’s lied to me and he’s a manipulating. He’s cheated emotionally on me and has to talk to women. I must loose all contact from him so he doesn’t think he has a chance that’s what I’ve read RUN?? What is your opinion?
Don’t go back and be a grade A supply and continue to suffer from Narcissistial Abuse. Love yourself, heal from the abuse and conditioning, and meet someone who will make you shine.
Can u give me some dating tips help get the man want everything he wants that would find in me .
Ive been in minimal contact with my ex. we split a little over a month ago. I’m currently trying to take this time to work on myself as I know regardless of what relationship I’m in, I need to be able to take care of myself. Now I would like to give it a second chance if he is willing later on. He has been messaging me about little things like some of his stuff, and his kids (not mine). Is this still a salvageable situation? I’m trying to keep minimal contact but there have been some unavoidable instances
thank you so so much, i need this in my life right now. i’ve been with this guy for almost 4 years, he still hasn’t opened up to me yet. i am taking your advice, acting upon it, and will go from there because by the new year if nothing changes, then i am moving on, i must for my sake, i must move on. thank you for this reading, all of what you do and put out there is wonderful, very very helpful and it gives direction and self-esteem and motivation. you are the best at what you do, never stop. God bless you.
I can’t un love my Ex. After our first big blowout last February I trashed talked about him to key people in our community and every time he and I start talking he angrily brings that up. We met on the tail end of his divorce being finalized which he never told me about and he also never told me he had kids. That certainly explained why he never had money, and probably has addiction in his life. Anyway am I better without him??
Yes, you should move on. You can detach with love.
I don’t understand this generation of women with low self esteem a man with addiction..Good luck