Someone asked me a challenging question the other day. She said, “I’ve been in love more times than I can count. But I’ve never been able to make a relationship last.”
She then proceeded to tell me her story. Indeed, she approached romance very openly, honestly, and passionately. But in every past relationship, it seemed that love wasn’t enough. Love came, love sustained the relationship for a while. But as months turned into years, it just seemed that emotion – even the intensity of finding love – was never enough to make the relationship last.
Did something go wrong? Or is love just finite, does it have an expiration date?
No, I believe love is real. And I told her that I agreed, from what she told me, all of her relationships were loving and were “real love.”
But we agreed, the reason why these relationships seemed to deteriorate over time was that both she and her partners always assumed that love would be enough.
But that’s not true. Making a relationship last takes effort. It takes investment. Strategy, hard work, and perhaps most importantly, it takes a thorough understanding of relationships and what two people need to stay strong in their love.
Let’s consider five tips on how to “fireproof” your relationship and make it last always and forever.
1. Be more independent!
You might find this first tip surprising. Doesn’t it make sense that couples that last forever should spend more time together? There’s certainly nothing wrong with being together…but a person NEEDS independence and alone time. Some of the most loving and committed couples you will ever meet say that it IS important for both partners to remain balanced. To have personal goals, independent hobbies, and some quality alone time. Being happy alone is actually some insurance that you can live as a couple. If you can live alone in peace then you know what you need to be happy. If your partner gives you that freedom and independence, that brings balance to your lives.
2. Empathy and listening are more important than winning the argument.
You and your husband must learn to let go of petty arguments or even major arguments and focus instead on listening and showing empathy. Making a marriage last means minimizing conflict and giving your partner only positive associations. Rather than focus on winning the argument or proving a point, focus instead on learning why your partner is feeling anxious and how you can help them feel better. This shows love and a genuine concern about how your partner feels. It’s not just about you or him, it’s about the two of you as one family unit, one team.
3. Plan to spend time together.
Couples who understand respect and empathy can keep their marriage peaceful. But sadly, this isn’t enough. One of the most common reasons for marital problems is simply not having the time to see each other or spend time together. This eases you into a lifestyle that no longer needs or values your partner since. You must maintain this relationship, this organism, so to speak, if you want it to last “forever.” You must work to maintain it, not only by loving your partner but by arranging the time to spend together. If free time is difficult to come by then plan for it and stick to your schedule. Plan date night, romantic dinners, or just an hour or two a day to converse, share, and catch up. These are the building blocks of a successful, long relationship. Taking for granted your time together, or even forgetting to make time, is a step in the opposite direction
4. Don’t expect your partner to change, or to complete you, or to save you.
These are all high expectations, and frankly, none of these should be in the job description of a good husband. A good husband, or a good man, is not going to change for you. A good man should already be that standard of excellence that you want. A good man is not there to complete you because you’re the one who must decide to be happy. Your partner cannot make you happy or single-handedly make your life fulfilling. He can only help you and support you. But the heart, the decision to be happy and content, comes from you. Finally, remember that your partner is not there to save you. If he saves you then he owns you, he makes you dependent on him. That’s not what a sane and healthy guy wants. He wants to love you because of the person you are, not because you “need him” just to survive.
5. Focus on the now, on the little things.
You must learn to de-stress your life and reduce anxiety. This happens partly by focusing on the now and the little things that make you happy each day. Find a job you enjoy. Find hobbies and activities you love. Enjoy conversations with your partner. Do what makes you happy and focus on being alive in that moment. Sure, worry and fretting about tomorrow is going to come. But do you hyper-focus on the future, on the certainty? Or do you practice being grateful, being mindful of how good things are right now?
As you can see, making a relationship last is all about taking the time to maintain and build a relationship so that it gets stronger over time. Relationships that go purely by “feeling” usually self-destruct in a few months or years. There’s no effort to build a relationship or a family unit. There is no team, there’s no investment in each other, emotionally. It’s all on a whim…and it’s a whim we think lasts forever.
But whims come and go. What you intentionally build and protect, with fireproofing, with maintenance, that’s what lasts until the end of time.
It takes effort and it takes a true desire to bond with your man every day and emotionally connect with him whenever you speak. Continue to fireproof your relationship over time, so that any challenges can be met. Don’t take your love for granted. Strengthen it from the inside and it will last forever.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
