4 Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close

4 Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close (And How to Handle It)

So you’re a strong, independent and intelligent woman. Go you!

You meet a great guy and surprise, surprise—he has a job. He’s normal and has practically no psychosis or dark hidden secrets to confess. No catch…just a great guy and you’re glad you got his number before a Kardashian ruined him.

But wait! What’s happening? Why is Mr. Right suddenly becoming distant? You might be shocked to discover that your dream guy is suddenly distancing himself from you. Maybe he’s becoming irritable, short-tempered…

Or maybe you’ve even had “the talk” about why you two should go on a break or even break up.

Don’t panic. There’s probably a reason your man is backing away and it’s not too late to make things right.

Malfunctioning Men Maintenance

Let’s first discuss some reasons why men withdraw or in some cases leave…just after being intimate or maybe even months after the relationship’s been going swell. Then, we’re going to consider some ways to troubleshoot your malfunctioning man.

1. He’s feeling smothered by Overly Attached Girlfriend.

You remember the Overly Attached Girlfriend, right? Just think of the infamous meme as a frightening entity that can possess any otherwise cool and attractive woman at any given time. Rather than laugh at her, ask yourself if you’re resembling her behavior lately. For instance, you might ask:

· Am I becoming too possessive? Do I have to know where he is at all times?
· Am I pressuring him to marry, move in. or become exclusive before he feels comfortable with it?
· Am I threatening his freedom either aggressively (letting him know what he can’t do anymore) or subtly (making plans for him without permission)

Troubleshooting Tip: Let him feel back in control of things. If you want to make plans ask him for his input on what to do. Give him space to be alone in his mancave and go out wherever he wants, without you in the passenger’s seat. If you trust each other, and if he really is the decent, honest man you believe he is, there is no reason to assume he’s out cheating. Suspicion is the not the mark of a good relationship, by any mrans.

If you’ve been dominating his schedule and all of his conversation lately, give him space and “air time” to exert his power and freedom of expression. This will make him feel in control again, and not coincidentally, more attracted to you.

2. He’s already had his cake and er…eaten it too.

There’s a very good reason why shrewd women make men wait for sex…even really hot guys that they desire. This is because the longer you make him wait for sex, the longer period of time you give him to actually care about you and fall in love.

Too many women make the mistake of giving horny men exactly what they’re looking for: No strings attached sex as soon as possible. Then they hope, optimistically (very optimistically) that after the deed is done, the man will start to feel romantic towards them and they fall in love just like in fairy tale books.

Wrong! If a man is on the prowl for easy sex, he won’t be thinking clearly about what he wants and if he’s really compatible with you or not. He’ll want to get laid first and then ponder those tough existential questions later. Men enjoy the thrill of the “hunt” and will tell you what you want to hear in chameleon-like fashion if they feel this is a game you’re playing and you’re daring him to win.

If you sleep with him too soon, he may be second-guessing whether he really wants to commit to this relationship or if he wants to date other people or pursue his dream of rock climbing, or becoming a matador, or whatever it is he thinks is cool.

Troubleshooting Tip: Back off and give him the freedom he thinks he wants. Keep the conversation honest. Ask him if he wants to go on a break and for the both of you to see other people. It’s important to let him know that you will not be his “back burner girlfriend”—that you will move on with your life if he doesn’t see the value in you now. If he wants to go on a break, you are not going to cry over him and beg him to come back.

You are stronger than that. And he will respect your strength of character for refusing to beg for his attention.

If he has does have strong but confused feelings for you, he will not let you walk away if you suggest a break. Now is the chance for both of you to converse openly and honestly. Siscuss what’s missing in the relationship and hold nothing back. Talk out your fears, needs and disagreements and start communicating again.

3. You’re not a girlfriend…you’re a chatbot.

It’s sad but true…too many nice girls are virtual chatbots for their boyfriends, always there, always available and always just a phone call or instant message away. Sometimes it may seem to him as if you wait 24-7 by the phone, always ready to give him the love he needs. That’s great for guys who love constant fawning attention from their partner. But for many modern men, it may make for a disappointing end to what they thought was an exciting relationship.

Many men enjoy the challenge of making their girlfriend happy. They enjoy debating, enjoy flirting and enjoy the mystery and unpredictability of the relationship. Then something changes…the woman lets her guard down and starts mothering the guy, making sure he’s happy and catering to his every whim.

She’s not really “smothering”…she’s “mothering”. Kind of a subtle difference there.

For some guys, it’s a huge turn off when a woman starts “taking care of him” rather than entertaining him. Now he’s longing to meet that mysterious sexy stranger he remembers from when you first met.

Troubleshooting Tip: Here’s where most people would tell you to play mind games with your boyfriend until he starts to appreciate you. But that’s too easy and frankly too juvenile.

The answer lies in challenging yourself. Instead of pretending to be unavailable, simply be less available by reaching out to the world.

Get involved in a hobby or a social cause true to your heart. Go more places with friends, family members and new acquaintances. Learn more, explore more and when in doubt, say yes to a new idea.

Not only will this help you become a busy and more confident woman, it will also remind him that you are no keychain girlfriend. You have your own life and your own full calendar of important things to do. The thrill of the chase will be back on, and now maybe you can squeeze time with him on Saturdays, before hitting the gym, and after going out with your BFF to see the Beauty & the Beast reboot. See? It’s all about effective time management!

4. He’s literally afraid at how much he loves you.

It sounds a little corny, but yes, sometimes men do develop strong feelings for a woman and they immediately start to fear their own vulnerability. They really like you…and who knows? Maybe they once promised themselves they would never love again. Now their intense feelings for you are scaring them into a defensive, crouching position, at least when it comes to the heart.

This fear of intimacy is sort of a good thing, since it means he is slowly coming to terms with the role you’re going to play in his life. However, in the beginning, it can manifest itself in strange ways. He may become irritable, distant or suddenly unusually busy and unavailable.

Strange as it seems, he is probably more willing to let you go and lose you altogether than jump headfirst into his fear of emotional intimacy. Men are wimps when it comes to sharing their most vulnerable feelings.

Troubleshooting Tip: This is why you have to play it cool. Don’t force the issue. Give him space and concentrate more on letting him know you feel the same way he does. That means:

· You’re a little afraid too and that’s okay. It’s okay to take it slow, for both of you.
· Be open and willing to talk about feelings but be patient when he wants time alone.
· Reassure him (without going overboard or being too melodramatic) that you do have feelings for him and that you do understand him.
· Let him know that you’re on the same page and want to explore these matters whenever he thinks it’s time to do so.
· Let him know you’re not going anywhere, or leaving him, or getting bored of him, etc.

And remember, when in doubt, give him more of what initially attracted him to you in the first place. If he always admired your intelligence, engage him in heady subjects he likes to talk about. If you shared common goals or values, spend more time discussing those things.

Sometimes all a man needs is time to sort his feelings out and realize that he’s in love with you. And when that moment of realization comes, he becomes putty in your hand!

10 Magic Love Triggers That Make Men Fall Hard For You

Have you ever been near someone who gave you a strange spine tingling sense of excitement?

Have you ever felt those infamous little butterflies in your stomach fluttering around when your secret crush walked by?

Have you ever had the hairs raise on the back of your neck as someone you were in love with unknowingly brushed past you?

You can make him feel this way. Find out more and how to get 77% off our Feminine Enchantment program at the link below…

Click here to watch the video <<

Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you’ve been banging your head against the wall because you’ve fallen for a man who’s frustratingly unavailable…

Or if you’re being treated as an option with a guy and want him to feel like you’re “the one” he’s been looking for his entire life…

Then pay close attention to this video because here’s a secret almost nobody is talking and can change everything for you if you understand how to use it (and get a great discount on our most popular Feminine Enchantment program)…

Click here to watch the video <<





About The Author

Matthew Coast

What's stopping you from meeting Mr Right and having the relationship you want? Click here to take the quiz.

1 Comment

  • Jamie

    Reply Reply February 18, 2018

    I’ve been seeing this amazing guy for the last 2 months. Just in the last week or so, he has been distancing himself from me, and he admitted to this. I’m trying to give him the space he needs, but its also hurting me in the process. On Valentine’s Day, I had plans to tell him I was in love with him. That’s never happened. We had plans Friday and Saturday…none of which happened. We met up for breakfast that Saturday for 2 hours…that was it. I miss him so much. He barley talks to me. He has told me he’s crazy about me, that the last woman he loved destroyed him. I told him do not punish me for her mistakes. He’s scared of, of what we have. Hell, I am too. I told him I want to be there for him, to help him through this. He has anxiety and said that he hasn’t been sleeping. All I want to do is be there next him, We don’t have to say a word. I’m afraid, if he distance himself too much farther, I’m going to go the opposite way. I do not want to do that. But crying almost every night and not getting no sleep is taking its toll on me. I’m not sure how much more I can do this. I want to tell him I love him…and its literally eating at me because I can’t. What should I do? I’m so lost right now.

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field