One dating misconception out there is that a woman can say basically anything and that a guy will eat it up like candy. Aren’t men honored to have the attention of any woman? Isn’t it the guy’s job to entertain her…and so doesn’t he just love it when a woman sends texts all day long saying cutesy things?
Experience tells us no, that’s not how dating works. Men have their own “dealbreakers” when it comes to texting. Although they might be slightly different from a woman’s rule book, there are still some recurring themes here.
Let’s say you, as a woman, immediately disqualify a man if he texts things like:
• Too many sexual innuendos after you just met
• Extremely vulgar sentences
• Political or religious overtones that offend your own values
• Stupid sentences or one-word replies
• Misspellings or too many abbreviations
And so on. No one would blame you for disqualifying him because you just know, in that moment, that you’ve lost attraction to him and this is not going to work.
Men have the same filtering process, it’s just a little bit skewed in the other direction. Let’s consider some examples of dealbreakers in the form of texts women use that scare men off.
1. You remind me of my ex! Lol He was always going…
Guys really don’t want to hear about your ex. Whether you think he was awesome or evil, if you force the comparison too soon, he’ll think you’re not over him. And you’re not.
2. Why haven’t you texted me back yet???
Most women have figured this part out, but it still happens sometimes, especially when high emotions are involved. You may feel that reaching out to him and asking for reassurance is the right thing to do, but he will think you’re clingy.
3. OMG why is everyone being such an assface to me? I can’t deal with this anymore!
If your idea of reaching out to him is complaining about your life, your friends, family, and everything else you hate about life, it just screams “insecure.” Whether you’re jealous, stressed, or grieving, don’t force him to play your counselor.
5. What U doing
It’s just not that hip to abbreviate words, especially if you’re trying to convey a deep thought or an interesting idea. The same danger exists when misspelling words, or using one word sentences like “K”, “O”, “Y?” Or “R?”. If he’s worth talking to he’s worth the time it takes to write complete sentences.
6. I’ve just been busy lately and am not wasting time on the internet.
This line seems pretty bad ass, but usually women use it to disdain men, and leave them with a cold shoulder feeling. If you value your friendship with a guy, you don’t consider conversations with him as “internet stuff” and you’re never too busy to spend time with him. Giving a guy the cold shoulder through texts is a step in the wrong direction. He won’t chase you.
7. Thanks, bro. Whatever you say, buddy. Hey you, nice chatting with you, guy.
If you’re always treating him like just another one of your bro friends, and even use expressions that suggest platonic friends and nothing more, don’t be surprised if he feels friend-zoned.
8. Did I go OK? Did you like it? Was I good?
Insecurity to the point of begging for reassurance and compliments, and verbals pat on the heads is just going too far, unless you’re into that master/slave BDSM kink. If you like each other, there’s no need to pressure him like this. There’s no need to devalue yourself by appearing weak or needy for love. Be confident that he likes you and everything about you.
Honestly, the “So and So is typing message” for 5-10 minutes (or longer) is unbearable!
10. I was once (BLEEPING) this guy and…
This is not attractive. This is not confession time or Literotica. Never start a conversation about intimacy with some other guy you met thinking it somehow makes you look cool.
Guys assume you’ve had boyfriends before. If he wants to know, he’ll ask. But assume he doesn’t want to know about your sexiest escapades and will usually never ask.
11. My mom and dad want to meet you!
On the opposite end of the spectrum, hinting around at more intimacy by talking about weddings, engagements, your life together, meeting parents and family, is a bit much for someone you’re just starting to date. This will all come in time so don’t rush it!
12. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.
Really, there’s no need for such formality. Sending him a good morning message every day, and nothing else, is just a waste of a text. Good morning and good night is cool when accompanied by another message. You know, something interesting. Don’t be a spammer.
13. You don’t want to hang out?
Confronting him about the lack of intimacy and “progress” in the relationship is a disaster. This only confirms the guy’s worst fears – that you’re clingy and can’t be an independent woman in a successful relationship. Wanting to know what’s wrong just because he needs his space will creep him out. Your focus is on confidence and positive feelings in the beginning, and hopefully for as long as the relationship lasts.
14. Hey, wanna get laid?
Finally, let’s talk about my new book on how to have a one night stand. Ready? Here it goes…
Step 1: Just post an ad on Tinder and say “Who wants to get laid?”
Step 2: The End.
Yeah, this blog really isn’t about one night stands. In fact, I try to discourage women from having one night stands, thinking this somehow turns into a successful relationship. Statistically speaking, it does NOT happen. Guys will take the offer for free sex and forget about you.
So no, NEVER, EVER just offer a guy easy sex and think somehow, this random encounter is going to become more complex than it currently is. You have a FWB for life and that’s about it.
As you can see, guys do have their own filtering process. You have to know how to bypass it and keep them interested in your mind, body, and soul. That’s what brings them back!
Text him this to trigger his desire to chase you…
Did you know that you can trigger a man’s hormones through your text messages?
It’s true. How you communicate with a man can actually release different hormones in his body.
One of the most important ones is testosterone because that’s what makes him CHASE you, pursue you, and invest in you so that he gets “hooked” and desires something more with you.
Want to trigger this in your man?
P.S. You can actually trigger a “cocktail of emotions” inside a man that makes him feel like he can’t get you out of his mind and even feel addicted to you, if you text him a certain way.