One of the reasons rebound relationships are discouraged in dating is that they always seem to end badly. What seems harmless or promising at first may end with hurt feelings, emotional baggage, and painful regret.
The fact that you DO really like that rebound guy is one of the reasons the breakup hurts so much. Because under different circumstances, you may have been a good match. Or at least, you admire something about that man and it FEELS like real love, at least it does at first.
Over time, however, most rebound relationships fizzle out, just when it seems like it might be the real thing. What goes wrong?
It’s usually a case of looking for the wrong type of guy or finding a good match but at the worst possible time. In either scenario, the problem is that you’re not ready for a relationship yet. You may miss the romance, the intimacy, the love – sure, that’s understandable.
But if you’re not over your ex, if you haven’t processed the pain, and if you have other unresolved issues in your life, then you bring all those problems into the relationship.
Sometimes “normal” and good people are surprised to find that after staying in a toxic relationship for so long, they become more like their old toxic partner when rebounding with someone new. It’s a strange phenomenon but it happens a lot.
And the reason is almost always that person jumped into a new relationship too soon. They weren’t quite ready for another romance because they didn’t work on themselves. They didn’t focus on adjusting their lifestyle to be happier and find a more compatible match. They just decided to try again without doing any of the homework.
Guess what happens? Almost the exact same pattern and that brings even more unhappiness.
What we’re going to do for this discussion is to consider 10 signs that show you can’t handle a relationship at this stage in your life. Whether it’s because of trauma, ex baggage, rebounding, or just not enough life experience to make it work, the end result will be the same – heartbreak!
1. You still talk to and or obsess over your ex.
It’s practically the first rule about getting back into dating. Don’t bring up your ex. Don’t compare the new guy to your ex. Don’t hold onto feelings for an ex if you’re trying to move forward and find love.
2. You don’t really see a future with the guy you’re dating.
You may be emotionally attracted to a guy – and maybe it even feels like love. But if the future is so vague that you can’t even imagine being together that’s a bad sign. It either means you know, deep down, you’re not compatible, or that you simply don’t want to get married anytime soon.
3. You are still suffering because of grief from the past.
Even if you don’t still love an ex, if you are suffering because of trauma or grief, then jumping into a relationship could be a disastrous choice. The last thing you want to do is take your grief or anger out on your innocent new partner. Yet, when a person dates too soon after trauma or a dysfunctional ex-relationship, this is a common scenario.
4. You can’t trust him or open up emotionally.
You are too guarded. You don’t want to show him the real you because you’re afraid of being judged, or afraid he’ll lose interest, or maybe you just don’t think he’s worthy of knowing the real you. In any event, it’s not good news. He probably senses that you have a wall up.
5. Lifestyle changes and the opinions of others are still too important to you.
If you have doubts about the relationship because of major lifestyle differences, or the opinions of family and friends, there’s a good reason. You may not be ready to settle down or deal with family conflict.
6. You’re motivated primarily by time and impatience.
More than anything else, time is always a factor. Maybe you’ve made a promise to yourself that you have to be married within five years. Any kind of thinking that pushes you into a serious commitment, rather than passion, love, or true compatibility, is a bad idea. The fact that you’re not willing to wait and that love has to be a “now or never thing” shows there are serious problems with trust and self-confidence with both partners.
7. You don’t love or trust yourself.
Speaking of self-confidence, if you still suffer from low self-esteem, then it may be too early to forge a relationship. When a person feels low in spirit or has a poor body image, then they try too hard to please their partner. You may find yourself making the same mistake, especially if you notice you like to micromanage your boyfriend’s life. Controlling or clingy behavior comes from a lack of self-confidence and will push him away.
8. You don’t take any me-time. It’s all about pleasing him.
Not only is self-confidence important, but spending time alone is just as important. Don’t make him the center of your life. Keep busy. Grow in your own career, hobbies, and personal mission. Be happy with the life you’ve built for yourself.
9. You hate living alone.
It’s natural to want to have companionship and to feel lonely after a breakup. It only gets harder as the months go by. Your instinct may be to settle on someone who’s less than perfect just so you don’t have to come home to silence. Unfortunately, relationships built solely on a fear of loneliness rarely work out. Conflict is just as unpleasant as being alone!
10. You still see yourself as the victim.
In conclusion, remember that just because you’re not ready for a relationship right now doesn’t mean you will never be ready. If you can use this downtime to soul-search, reevaluate your life, and consider what you want in a successful relationship, you will start walking down a path to success. All happiness is realizing what you want, finding that, and walking away from the negative patterns that prevent you from achieving all that you want in life.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5-word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
