Do you remember what it was like to first fall in love?
When a man first falls in love with a woman, he feels happy. He feels like something wonderful is going to happen in his future…
He feels connected to the world, even when she’s not around. He gets triggered and surprised by powerful emotions of joy when something reminds him of you during the day.
If he continues down this road, the euphoria of love makes him start to adore everything about you…
The shape of your lips… your smell… the tone of your voice… everything about you starts to seem perfect and almost magical.
He fantasizes about kissing you right before his boss snaps him out of it in the middle of a meeting.
This is what you would expect so far, right? Well, what happens next may seem a little odd. All those positive feelings build into a desire to become your lover. And what that means to a man is very different than what it means to a woman.
In his quest to become your lover, a man’s feelings will shift toward a desire to impress you. That sounds nice, right? Well, it depends. It depends on how you respond to him.
You see, men have a soft spot underneath the hard emotional exterior. We may act tough, stubborn, angry, or macho on the outside, but all that is really serving a softer emotional need. Men can’t thrive in a deep passionate type of relationship unless they feel they have a woman’s admiration and respect.
If your man thinks you like him, but he feels you do not really admire him, the “in love” feelings will quickly fade and often extinguish completely like the wick of a candle that has been snuffed out.
Sad, I know.
And if you snuff out the fire from the wick of a candle, it’s out. You can warm up to him all you want, but he will feel cold and only respond by blowing little wisps of smoke into your face from the extinguished flame.
Many women have felt this. Some women have been through it more than once in a marriage.
Men desire admiration in a way that most women simply don’t understand. Testosterone is, as you know, the male sex hormone. When it’s active, he feels manly and alive.
He feels happy. Did you know a man’s testosterone is affected by the way people treat him? It’s true. If you put a man in a position where he is treated like the low man on the totem pole, his testosterone will drop.
After a group of men are thrown together, there is a sorting-out period when a “pecking order” is established. No one talks about it. It just happens.
If you watched a video tape of interactions among men after about five days, you would be able to tell who was more of the alpha-male at the top end, and who the people were lower on the pecking order. If you measured each person’s testosterone before and after grouping them together, those at the bottom would experience a drop in testosterone while those toward the top would experience an increase.
But why does this even matter?
Because men will lose interest in anyone that accidentally tromps on their ego. And there are all kinds of ways this happens without you meaning to do it! The feeling can come from something as simple as the tone of voice you use when giving him a compliment.
Does your man dream about you in his future? Are you the light of your man’s life? If not, something I call “the Respect Principle” may have something to do with it.
Check out this video my friend and dating coach, James Bauer put together to explain this vital relationship principle…
It could make all the difference in the relationship you share with your man.
P.S. After he teaches you about “the Respect Principle,” James shows you how to trigger this one critical emotion in your guy to draw him closer to you and make him almost addicted to you long term.
What I really love about what James says is that it’s not manipulative or “game playing.”