Why Men Love Bitches

Remember that old song “Bitch”? (Yes hard to believe Meredith Brooks is an oldies favorite now) Well, in it she sings about how much of a bitch she is and how her guy wouldn’t have it any other way.

You can probably think of several of your acquaintances, or friends or family, who tend to treat men terribly and yet always seem to be with a man. The worse she treats him, the more he seems to fawn over her and wants to please her. Meanwhile, the good girl is tossed aside.

And yes, men observe the same thing. It seems all the jerks and all the assholes are the ones who get the girl, while the nice guys end up alone.

Or at least…that’s the way it seems at first glance. But this is not reality.

This may be what malicious people believe since it allows them to justify their selfish and rude behavior. And of course, there are exceptions to every rule. Serial killers have women that fall in love with them while they live in prison. There are all sorts of strange people that defy all human logic.

But statistically speaking, mean-spirited behavior, and being a “bitch” is not what works. It’s not what attracts men, or at least, that’s not what the man is actually responding to.

Men do like nice women…they just admire certain qualities about mean girls that seem almost absent in nice girls. That’s what we’re going to talk about today.

I believe you can look at a “bitch” and steal from her the GOOD and MAGNETIC stuff she puts out there, but still be the nice and decent human being that you are. And you don’t have to suffer for it.

With this strategy, I guarantee you, you will find the man of your dreams and NOT have to suffer through a chaotic breakup, divorce, child custody hearings, and estrangement. You know, like all those mean girls eventually have to deal with, once men get sick of their drama.

You can attract a man and KEEP a man by being a SEXY woman who understands men. Your maturity as a real woman will also endear you to successful men who see through the bitch act.

But Meredith Brooks is right about one thing, at least. Most men are not attracted to women who are overly nice and bring nothing else to the table. Women who are too nice are often seen as “clingy”. Some women can even fallback into controlling or dependent behavior, in essence worshiping a man so intensely that she scares him away.

So let’s list some of the bitch qualities that actually do work, and why mean women are able to recognize these dating patterns almost instinctively.

1. Mean girls know that men like to work for approval.

Men are programmed to provide for women. While it’s true that men may provide different things (money, entertainment, emotional care, etc.), their pride and their overall happiness are based on how happy they can make their partner. A nice girl who overcompensates and doesn’t give a man the chance to chase her and try a little harder, may risk boring the man to death. He doesn’t even have to try to impress her!

A mean girl, on the other hand, all she does is bitch and complain. She demands more from the man. He is chasing her constantly and trying to impress her because that’s what makes him happy for the moment. She understands the simple lesson: I don’t need him, he needs me. I don’t have to do anything but keep resisting him.

Unfortunately, the guy will not get the reward he deserves for all his hard work because she has no “nice girl” mode to counteract the mean girl. That’s why, eventually (and probably when he grows up a little), he will grow tired of all the bitchy behavior.

2. Mean girls are really good in the sack.

Not only do men think sex is worth all the effort, but the mean girl just happens to be really good at sex—and so she creates an addiction that’s hard for a good man to resist, at least for a while. Why is she so good? She takes care of herself physically. She dresses to impress other men. (Not just him) She spends a lot of time looking her best so her beauty compensates for her shallow personality.

Perhaps even more importantly, she is a selfish lover. She knows what she wants sexually and has no problem telling a man what to do. Men love this because they are born pleasers. They want sex, she gives them really good sex, and they learn to tolerate her abuse, or at least her bitchy passive-aggressive behavior.

In the end she gives guys exactly what they want. The problem is, guys will eventually meet a good woman who is both the red-hot lover he craves and the pure angel he deserves. And when he’s ready to settle down, he will marry HER, not his mean ex who always made him feel small. After all, no one wants to stay married to a…well, you get the picture.

3. Mean girls know how to stand up to a man.

When a man grows distant or tries picking a fight with a mean girl, she will give him the bitch business. She has no problem standing up for herself and punishing him. She has high self-confidence and figures, she can get sex anywhere. He is lucky to have her and she doesn’t need to put up with his crap.

Very true and it’s an attitude nice girls could learn from. There’s no need to punish a man excessively, but being able to stand up to him and walk away from his testing behavior (otherwise known as macho B.S.) is a MUST. Men will test women. They want to be independent and they will revolt if they feel too controlled.

The mean girl says, “Go ahead and go, I don’t care.” The nice girl panics and tries even harder to keep him confined and controlled when that’s the opposite of what he wants.

Ultimately a man respects a woman who is willing to let him go and be independent. He doesn’t want to be punished (and mean girls really do take it to the extreme) but even suffering punishment is better than being with a girl that has no self-confidence.

The fact is, mean girls know how to let a man chase them. They belittle him, they pick at his ego and they play mind games because they enjoy the roller coaster of emotions. Men like the roller coaster because, ultimately, they want to FEEL something.

Nice girls don’t allow them to feel passion. They feel like boys being hen-pecked and groomed by their mother, not like MEN—not like stallions. Not like providers. How can they provide for you if you’re over-providing for them?

So in closing, you can borrow these bitchy attributes and you may notice men paying closer attention to you. But if you’re serious about falling in love, know when to stop.

Men can only take bitchy behavior so long and in the end, they DO want reassurance. They do want the reward of attention. And yes, they even do want you to do nice things for them…but only when they earn it.

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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