Why Am I Still Single? (Hint: It’s One of These 3 Reasons)

You could say there are two types of single people in the world. One, people who want to be single because they’ve given up looking for a partner. Two, people who are very unhappily single and can’t seem to find someone despite their best efforts.

I thoroughly believe some people do just want to stay single. I know, I’ve had many friends who remained single anywhere from their 30s, to 40s, to even 60s. From what I observed of them, they were not unhappily single. They preferred being alone to living with a partner. It’s not necessarily that they’ve given up looking for a partner in frustration—they simply don’t have the desire to be married. Maybe they tried it and it was just too much trouble for them.

You know, I used to know an auto mechanic once. Could barely speak English but I occasionally heard the guy talking in broken sentences to other people around the building where I was visiting. No matter what you said to him he would always say, “no problem!” in response. Needed a part? “No problem!” If he was looking somebody and you had no idea where that person was he would reply, “No problem!”

Everything was “no problem!” Really friendly guy!

But I do remember him saying once to one of his buddies, “Marriage, mucho problem!”

Well, that says it all. Some people just don’t want to be married at this stage in life, plain and simple.

But I also believe that there are many people out there, many women, who may convince themselves that they really don’t want to be married but may actually be very lonely. They do feel sad, right around Valentine’s Day. They do feel a little jealous when they see their friends being loved, having children, and having that loving family that they once wanted.

And to them I say, you don’t have to be single. You aren’t doomed to be single your whole life just because you can’t find the right guy at this moment. And no, you don’t have to compromise who you are just to find a good man.

All you need to do is realize why you’re unhappy and single and then make an attitude adjustment. You can still be who you want to be. Just with a slight adjustment in the way you see things. Here are a few “forever single” attitudes that cause chaos in relationships.

1. I don’t trust you. I will never trust you.

Unfortunately, this attitude is very prevalent among single women who are “looking” but who still can’t put the past behind them. They were hurt by someone they trusted, usually an abusive ex-lover, and now they see every man in the same way. Their defenses are up and even though they can “flirt”, they can’t seem to become emotionally vulnerable. And yet this is what has to happen for an emotional connection to take place!

This attitude could even develop in childhood, long before you are exposed to dysfunctional relationships. Finding a man who is patient and who has come from a similar background is usually the best way to cope with this fear of intimacy. You start to trust each other because you share how you feel, how you felt back then, and how you are learning to trust again.

2. He’s my type…I just seem to attract all the wrong guys!

Do you have a type? And are they usually the wrong type of guys? It’s not your fault…these losers just seem to find you! Well, maybe that’s not an accident. Sometimes our bodies “betray” us and actually send out those pheromones to the wrong type of person, starting an unhealthy attraction, which soon becomes a dysfunctional relationship.

It seems that when you are feeling defensive, and especially if you have low self-esteem, you respond to partners who are wrong for you. Maybe you find yourself attracted to emotionally unavailable men, or married men, or even men with abusive or aggressive personalities.

The fact is that many people actually unconsciously seek out attractions that are going to reinforce critical thoughts about themselves. These toxic thoughts come from childhood and very often persist into adulthood.

In other words, you seek out the same dating patterns that always seem to happen to you, by rewarding the wrong type of guys with attention. You also inadvertently chase guys away who may be better for you when you don’t respond to them or try to attract them in the first place. When you tell yourself you’re attracted to bad boys or players, guys who always seem to end up hurting you, you reinforce these negative dating patterns.

3. I just don’t like the clubs. I don’t like all the hassle of dating!

Sure, a lot of people don’t like clubs. But unfortunately for them, their “fear of competition” and social isolation inhibit them from going anywhere! They seem to only look for available partners within their own network of friends and acquaintances. Bad idea…because the only way to meet new people is to go where there are more people.

Whether that means group events, Internet dating sites, college classes, parties, or other social functions, is up to you to decide. But staying fixed in your routines, rather actively than meeting new people, is only guaranteeing you stay single—or that you go for the wrong type of guy who seeks you out.

This attitude only gets worse with age and singles can develop a fear of competition because they think they’re not pretty enough or that it’s too “intense” or crazy to date someone. Maybe going to a club or bar is too crazy. But that’s not the only option! You’re the one who decides to live an active life and to embrace the chance to meet new people. And the more people you meet, the more you begin to realize that no one is perfect, no one is flawless, and there really are a variety of compatible partners for you if you’re willing to give love a chance.

40 Flirty Texts That Men Absolutely Love

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to your man to bring you closer together, I’ve put together a guide of 40 fun and flirty text messages that will spark a stronger and deeper desire in whatever man you use them with.

If you don’t know what to say to your man, use these “cut and paste” text messages from my free guide and watch how much he absolutely loves it!

Click Here to Get My Free Text Message Guide Now

 

 

 

 

 

About The Author

Matthew Coast

What's stopping you from meeting Mr Right and having the relationship you want? Click here to take the quiz.

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field