There are a lot of ways you can guess when a man will propose to you, but there’s a more important reason you need to see the signs: You don’t want to get it wrong.
Because that can be a soul-crushing disappointment when you DON’T get a proposal when you got yourself all excited about it finally happening.
Look, I get it. I was the guy who was “supposed” to propose to my girlfriend on a long trip to Italy. She was SO sure I was going to do it the whole trip. I was just confused about her weird behavior, but looking back I see why.
“Hey, did you want to go on a gondola ride through the Grand Canal?” she asked me hopefully.
“Yeah, that’d be great,” I said, and we went. And then she acted strangely disappointed afterwards. “Didn’t you like the boat ride?” I asked.
“Meh. It was fine.”
I wound up thinking that Italy was underwhelming to her, but it turns out it was ME. And I realized this when we came back to the U.S. Our relationship ended not long after that as I realized that I was wasting her time.
But when the time came to really propose to my now-wife Jen, it was a much less awkward situation. And I want to spare you some of the awkwardness by helping you see what’s coming down the road.
So would you like to know when a guy will propose to you?
I’ve hand-picked 3 signs that he’s getting ready to pop the question, so you don’t get fooled.
WILL HE PROPOSE TO YOU? Sign #1: He’s talking about marriage in practical, no nonsense ways…
Look, we guys are going to get serious when it comes time to contemplate marriage. Even though guys typically are the more romantic in a relationship (yes, it’s true), we often want to take care of the logistics before we let ourselves get caught up in the wild emotional roller coaster of “it’s finally happening!”
You’ll notice that his questions and conversation start turning more serious. He’ll ask more questions to pry out your political beliefs. He’s going to start testing for alignment in goals and vision of the future. And yes, even how you would raise your kids.
He’ll start to have conversations outside your relationship, too. He’ll have more serious conversations with YOUR family, his own, and his friends.
And another sign is that he will be looking to hear from YOU whether or not this is something you want. A guy would never ask you to marry him if he didn’t think you were going to say – I mean, scream YES!
IS HE GOING TO POP THE QUESTION? Sign #2: He’s checking out your jewelry…
He’s going to ask a lot of what-if questions about your taste in jewelry to find out what you like. He might even throw out theoretical questions about rings and diamonds in magazines he sees, trying to get your opinion and figuring out your tastes.
And he may even sneak a ring from you that he knows fits your ring finger so that he can get the sizing right.
He might just be so bold as to ask what your ring size is, but that pretty much gives up the surprise right then and there.
As a side note, I realize that a lot of women these days want to have a say in the cut, size, style and all of that stuff dealing with the engagement ring. But ultimately, he gets to choose it for you, and it doesn’t always come down to his & hers ring shopping. Just telling you from a man’s perspective that when a woman is unhappy or displeased with her ring and verbalizes that feeling, it can really wound a man deeply.
Now, some people do the proposal with a “stand in” ring, knowing full well that they will go ring shopping at a later date. I think that’s an acceptable alternative, especially considering most women would just be happy to get the proposal and work out the fiddly parts of picking out a ring later.
IS HE GETTING READY TO BEND A KNEE? Sign #3: He’s talking about the future with you more…
Yeah, we’re talking practicality again here, but he’s going to be much more focused on the what-nots of your next X number of years together when he’s thinking marriage. It might come up in conversation or in what-if questions.
When a guy does this, he’s doing two things. One is that he’s seeking some affirmation from you that you are also thinking in terms of this long distance journey together. The other is that he’s checking to see that you are aligned with him in values and direction.
He’s also going to be more focused on saving money as a result of this new focus. He’ll be more intentional with money, and he’s not going to be spending as frivolously. He will even carry a more serious tone of responsibility about him as he gets aligned with this new direction in his life.
In the end, you’ll know he’s going to propose to you when it happens.
In a perfect world, you wouldn’t pick up on the signs and he’ll catch you completely by surprise. After all, that makes the best story to tell later, right?
That’s why you should check in with yourself first on your own expectations.
Is this something you feel you want?
That you need?
That you’re entitled to in some way?
Whatever the source, be sure to keep yourself aligned with the most important part of your relationship – the here and now. If you don’t have that in place, then any marriage would be built on a shaky foundation at best.
Keep your head in the game of the actual relationship than the formality of a ring and a legally binding document. Check in on your romantic designs, and talk with him about them in a non-threatening way.
You’d be surprised how much more satisfying that can be to your love than waiting for one moment to change your life.
If you’re looking for more great tips, check out Carlos here: https://www.datingadviceguru.com.