Can we just take the time to say this Public Service Announcement?
Sex is awesome! Yeah, sometimes all the complication emotions can be a headache to deal with and sometimes relationships go wrong. But for the most part sex is a wonderful way to pass the time. Great way to bond. Great thing to do on weekends and even on weeknights, especially now that The Big Bang Theory ended. In fact, sex is so amazing it can even alleviate the pain of a headache. Due to the release of endorphins and a surge of oxytocin levels after orgasm, it’s one of the best natural pain relievers there is…and the scenery is nice too, right?
In fact, men love sex so much the whole dating process sort of clouds their judgment in the beginning. Men want sex. Beyond that, they consider their success with women as a reflection of their value as men. They see various challenges from women and so they try to become better men to get a girlfriend or to become more confident with women.
When a man finally does have sex with a woman, he’s often surprised that it happened! No wonder that his mind is racing and he’s thinking all sorts of thoughts, some positive, some negative, some neutral and some just plain weird.
You slept with him. Now, does he actually like you?
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What Do Guys Think After You Sleep with Them? These 7 Things…
So let’s penetrate a man’s mind (kinky!) and try to determine what he’s probably thinking after the first time you have sex – and more importantly what it means for the future of the relationship.
1. A Guy Thinks… “Wow that was great! Wow I’m sleepy!”
Here’s a cliché that’s unfortunately true. “What are you thinking?” you ask? He’s thinking he enjoyed it, it was awesome…and now he’s suddenly sleepy after getting that dose of love drugs and a pretty rigorous work out.
Of course, things get awkward since he can’t just fall asleep in your bed without permission. This explains one reason why men are eager to leave. They’re tired! It’s not the only reason, but it’s definitely a simple motivation many of us forget.
2. He Thinks… “Did she enjoy it? I think her orgasms were real…”
If he’s a good guy, he’s concerned about your pleasure. He will wonder if you enjoyed yourself. If you had intense orgasms, then yes, he’s probably wondering if they were real or fake. If you didn’t orgasm, he’s probably worried. If you made yourself come because you enjoy sex, he thinks you’re wild – and that’s a good thing.
Remember that a man’s self confidence is partly determined on how women feel about him – and all the more so after sex. Performance is important to a man’s ego, not just in penis size, tongue-power, stamina, body shape, technique, patience and everything else. If he seems a little subdued, and you did enjoy yourself, let him know you’re very happy!
What else do guys think after you sleep with them? Let’s take a look…
3. He Might Think… “Now that we’ve had sex, how do I feel about the relationship?”
This is a point of anxiety for a lot of women because they tend to approach relationships in the opposite way. Get to know a guy, evaluate the relationship potential and then have sex. Men want sex most of all and then they get around to thinking about the relationship.
Little wonder then that a lot of men “wake up” after the first sexual encounter and start to see potential problems in the relationship. He might realize that apart from sexual attraction, you don’t actually have much in common. His desire to escape is not motivated by selfishness necessarily, but by a realization that he might have made an error in judgment.
This is why I remind my clients, don’t sleep with him too soon. He must become attracted to your personality, your mystery, your ability to converse with him. This way, he’ll still feel attracted to you even after the curiosity of sex wears off.
4. Hopefully He’s Thinking… “Again?”
If the sex was good, there’s a 90% chance he’ll want to do it again. The real question is whether he wants a Friends with Benefits or a serious relationship. The more time you spend bonding together before sex, the more attached he will be.
So hopefully, what he’s thinking after you sleep with him is that he wants to do it again.
5. He’ll Probably Be Thinking… “How is this going to change things?”
Are you boyfriend or girlfriend? Is this going to doom your friendship? What about your mutual friends? Should he call you or wait until you call him? Oh boy…
It’s only natural for men to wonder what’s next in the relationship. They enjoyed what happened but now are focused on the future. They probably have no idea what sex means…and that’s why they have a little bit of anxiety over it.
The best way to handle it is to play it cool and let him know that it was not a big deal for you. It was fun. You enjoyed the experience. He earned it with his attentiveness and determination. But if he wants to see you again, that requires more effort from him. He must continue to “chase” you if he wants you. Friends with benefits is a bad idea if you want a commitment down the road.
Another thing guys thinking after sleeping with you is…
6. “Hey I’m hungry!”
Yeah, another typical male response. If he exerted himself, we’re talking upwards of 250 calories. Time for a snack or maybe even dinner.
And lastly, after sleeping together, he’ll probably be thinking…
7. “How do I compare to other guys?”
Yes, this is a fairly common thought that guys have. Coincidentally, that insecurity a man feels is why some immature guys freak out about the so-called “body count”. It’s not that they want you to be virginal or innocent. They’re just weirded out to think that you’ve probably had better.
A lot of men also have trouble understanding that the best sex comes from deeper emotional connection. The more trust you feel, the more intensely you bond and open up your minds to love, the more spiritual the sex becomes. That’s what makes sex good and memorable.
It’s safe to say that unless the first sexual encounter is bad (it makes him feel awkward or embarrassed or it hurts him in some way) then a man is probably thinking positive thoughts after sex happens. That’s good and there’s no reason to freak out, thinking he’s judging you. Men are chill after sex. The key is to keep that same “chill” attitude and let him see you as a fun-loving, sexy and confident woman.
You’re not “easy”…but you’re a woman that’s worth the time investment. You’re better at sex, dating ad bonding than any other woman he knows. Keep him thinking thoughts like that and then his happy post-sex thoughts will soon turn to love!
That’s what a guy thinks after you sleep together…
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