Intense Chemistry Signs (Look For These)

Remember movies like When Harry Met Sally…? Romantic comedies are well loved for mostly two reasons. (A) They all end happily and (B) the movie builds and builds and escalates the sexual tension between two characters. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s romantic. But the point is the chemistry is amazing! That’s what people pay to see.

Speaking of which, real life is a lot like that too. It might not be as funny as a Billy Crystal routine, but it’s still all about the chemistry between two unique people and the powerful effect they have on each other. Intense chemistry like this even provokes theories like “soul mates” or “twin flames” because it’s amazing to feel and even amazing to witness.

But the purpose of this blog is not to consider why such intense chemistry happens – we’ll talk about that some other time. What’s important to consider now, are the SIGNS that intense chemistry is happening to you!

Believe it or not, chemistry is not always a matter of “Oh I love him!” and “I really like her!”

It’s very subtle sometimes. You might not even realize that you have good chemistry with someone until you observe the signs, from him, or even yourself – subtle gestures that you catch yourself doing. You may even have good chemistry with someone that you don’t KNOW you even like yet, or someone that you have an antagonistic relationship with. The body language matters…so let’s talk about what chemistry looks like. Here are seven signs to look for the next time you have that interesting chat.

1. Magnetism and proximity

If you seem to be physically “pulled towards him” (or he is to you) then that indicates there is a strong attraction between you, or at least from one of you. Chemistry draws people together physically, even if it’s very subtle in the beginning. You’re not just looking at each other from across the room, but you’re in closer proximity than other people. You want to be near each other because you’re interested in learning more.

2. Eye contact

Speaking of eye contact, it’s not just the glance that matters. We all glance at each other from time to time. But when you have good chemistry, your eyes are glued! The two of you may glance at each other frequently and then get “caught” looking, when your attention is supposed to somewhere else. You are distracted in mind and that’s why your eyes are doing the same thing.

3. Touching

Touching is a good sign and honestly, we usually DON’T think to ourselves “I like him…I’m going to touch him, woowoo!”

It’s more of a subconscious reaction. When you flirt, you’re more inclined to touch, even if it’s just a shoulder or an arm. Sometimes you feel a “spark” at the same time if your hands are next to each other or if you accidentally touch. Touching suddenly becomes awkward. You can both sense that there’s something going on, even if you can’t put your finger on it.

Come to think of it…

4. Everything is weird

When two people are intensely attracted to each other there is some “weirdness”, especially if one or both of them are not single, or are shy when it comes to dating and asking each other out. You’re both suspecting each other of being attracted so you’re waiting for a slip up, or maybe a secret confession. Of course, that usually doesn’t happen. But the weird tension continues.

Some theorize that this could be because your conscious mind and unconscious mind are in disagreement. You find this person attractive subconsciously, but your “ego” (which refers to the clinical term, your sense of personal identity, the person you have decided to become) can’t quite admit that attraction.

5. You tease each other

You may have more courage and even some audacity to say things in front of them you usually wouldn’t say to another person. You’re both very slowly pushing each other out of that comfort zone, testing each other. People who feel intense chemistry will often tease each other, or even make naughty jokes, or use suggestive language without actually putting each other on the spot. Do you feel like you can talk about anything with them? Don’t take that for granted, that usually doesn’t happen when someone you don’t “match.”

6. Laughter and natural flow of communication

But don’t get your hopes up if awkwardness is the ONLY sign of attraction. You might feel awkward in the beginning, but over time your communication with this person should only be getting better. You laugh more at each other’s jokes. Your voice becomes softer while his becomes deeper.

This is perhaps the most important factor: it doesn’t feel “forced.” Good chemistry means you don’t spend all your time getting tongue tied or forgetting what to say, or making a fool of yourself. The more that happens, the worse the chemistry is.

Good chemistry means you both have similar thoughts, similar perspectives, and an easy flow of communication. Your mind isn’t racing, you’re not overanalyzing your thoughts. You’re more INTO HIM and interacting with him.

Even in body language, it’s common to notice that couples with good chemistry move in smoother patterns, as if they understand each other, or anticipate each other’s movements. They “dance” fluently in the way they move. They’re in sync and communicating subconsciously.

7. Other people notice your chemistry

Finally, don’t underestimate the perceptive views of your friends and family. They are often very aware of chemistry – and more importantly how it affects you and your crush. They have picked up on the way you bicker, the way you play, and the weird tension between you as you figure out how you really feel.

Even subtle gestures such as extra long hugs, squeezing each other’s arms or hands, usually doesn’t escape the watchful eye of friends. If by some chance you’re already in a relationship, your jealous partner will definitely let you know he observes that chemistry and attraction.

If you’re single, then your friends may tease you about this guy, since they notice the effect he has on you and how the attention seems reciprocated.

Remember though, intense chemistry works best when you are naturally confident in your own life, when you feel good about yourself, and when you have more experience in talking to other people and attractive men. If you’re concerned that you’re too awkward or shy, make it a goal to have longer conversations with people you meet, even in a friendly setting.

You will find that if you practice casual conversation more often, and you begin to feel that naturally intense chemistry with a man, the art of flirting will easy, natural and fun!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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