How to Tease a Guy Over Text (3 Ways He’ll Love)

In previous articles, we discussed ways to start a fun conversation with a guy via text messaging. Making the guy feel comfortable and getting him to talk (or text) were the suggested strategies in dating text.

However, some women have asked me about the duration of the texting relationship. A friend of mine even told me, “It just seems like eventually, we run out of things to talk about. I just want to leave him wanting more. But he still wants to text! And I’m all out of ideas.”

Maybe the problem, in this case, is that the text relationship is so good and so interesting, that there’s a lack of conflict. Conflict is what makes flirty dialog edgy, exciting, and sometimes very sexual.

That’s why learning the art of the tease is important. When you learn how to tease your guy through text, you can get those flames of passion all stirred up and throw some more firewood in his imagination—for weeks or months on end.

And the longer you tease him, the harder we’ll work to gain your approval, and the more madly in love he will fall.

Let’s then discuss three different ways to tease him and why each method works. This will certainly give you a few ideas to try just when you seem to run out of things to text.

1. Don’t cause a fight—Gently rib him instead.

Conflict is not about creating an artificial argument. It’s about gently teasing him and getting him to laugh—and more importantly, getting him to tease you back. Teasing is not the same thing as insulting him or mocking what’s important to him. It’s about LEARNING his quirks, and having some good-natured fun associating those quirks with him. You’re not actually questioning anything about his character. You’re giving him an identity in your mind, whether it’s a cute nickname or having some fun with his hobby.

For example, creating a nickname like “Big John” if his name is John and he’s always talking about his job as a store manager—that’s an easy one. Or “The Trainer” or “Bad Santa” (if he’s a sexy guy who dresses up as Santa every year) In other words, a funny nickname that seems to characterize his job, hobby or life goals.

Or, if he tells you about his hobby of bee collection—sure it’s unusual and you can gently rib him about it, calling him The Bee Keeper or that he better not send his bees over to attack you just because you’re busy one night. In these instances, you’re not belittling his hobby—you’re just associating these hobbies with who he is. He may feel poked, but he won’t feel insulted. After all, these are the things that define him and he’s proud of his hobbies.

The sooner you give him a nickname, the better actually. While you can wait a while to gently mock him, giving him a cutesy nickname actually starts a flirtatious dialog early on and lets him know that you think of him in an affectionate way. He can build on that.

Remember most sarcasm is appreciated in texting, as long as it’s funny. When in doubt, just send an emoticon that conveys a funny face so that he knows you’re teasing him and you’re not actually sitting in silence judging him with a scary statement like “You’re so rude.” Without an emoticon, it really changes the tension, doesn’t it?

2. Casually hint around that he should ask you out / or romance you.

Some guys might be nervous about making that transition from text friend to romance, so make it a little easy on him by casually mentioning something that you want to do, such as try a new restaurant, or see a concert, and test his reaction. You should mention doing the activity on your own, independent of him. This gives him the idea of asking you out without demanding that he do it—which is masculine behavior.

When it comes to escalating the relationship sexually, one great way to get him hot and bothered (and yet not come across as too crass) is to slip in a sexy visual, or challenge him with a mysterious question “Are you good with your hands? 😀 ….I meant for a shoulder massage. These innuendos are subtle enough to make him smile and make him wonder, and yet still give him the gift of chasing you. What matters is that you continue to let him “simmer” on the idea of you two getting together. You’ve given him hints…now will he make a move?

3. Once you pass the romantic threshold torture him with sexy ideas and let him soak in those thoughts for days on end.

Once he does make a move, it’s not time to sleep with him out of gratitude! Instead, tease him over and over again, as the days and weeks pass. Give him sexy visuals. Go one step further and say intimate things like you wish he were there with you. Once sex becomes inevitable (although you should never rush it) you can say steamier things like, “I can’t stop thinking about you today…you and toys” or “Guess the color of my bra and I might show it to you.”

If you want to take things slower (especially if he is moving slower and not going after sex) then you could take the opposite approach. Ask more platonic questions, but make them a little edgy, as in you’re deliberately testing his reaction. As in, “I was thinking of being celibate for the rest of my life. Any thoughts?” or even suggesting that he has a filthy mind, by turning an innocent comment into innuendo. “Was I have a hard time? John, you are so bad!”

Teasing a guy from stage to stage (playful to romantic to sexual) is what your texting needs to keep him excited and working for your approval. Learn the art of the tease and you can keep him chasing you, before or after sex. He won’t become impatient…because the tease is a big part of romance. Teasing makes everything better, even sending pictures, even your first sexual experience together.

Teasing makes him want you more and so the payoff is much better later on.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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