How to Keep a Guy Interested After Sleeping with Him

How to Keep a Guy Interested After Sleeping with Him

Whoops – you slept with a guy you really like! And yeah it was a pretty amazing night…

But now what?

Usually the advice is “Don’t sleep with a man until he falls for you”, right?

Well, the truth is, it’s not very easy to tell if a man has actually “fallen for you”, or just really wanted to have sex and was playing the part of Awesome Boyfriend perfectly, just long enough to live out his ultimate fantasy with you.

But it’s okay. Having sex before he falls in love is not necessarily going to ruin the relationship. What really matters is that you wait until you experienced some emotional connection together. If you’re pretty sure he felt something, and then you went to bed, then it is very possible he’s still thinking about you.

That’s good. So let’s start by discussing the After Sex Rulebook.

1. Don’t discuss commitment. Don’t influence him. Don’t act emotional. Don’t cling, don’t be romantic, just don’t!

I know this is hard to resist because sex usually makes us want to bond and want to be romantic. The release of the oxytocin chemical has a powerful effect on you…and yes, on him as well. But it’s very important that you let him experience his love rush on his own terms and NOT try to discuss commitment or anything stressful. For now, bask in the afterglow. There’s no reason to be cold and rush off prematurely.

But when it’s time to go, it’s time to go. And you leave first.

2. Reset the whole relationship. You are NOT going to be a friends-with-benefits.

After a guy sleeps with you, and after he feels some definite connection, his next thought is making you a friends with benefits. Because in his silly mind, casual sex is “serious dating”. Errr, actually it’s not. And he WILL get bored if you give him sex for free, just because he wants it.

Instead, challenge him to impress you all over again. Now that you’ve had sex, the relationship has gone back to square one. You’re friends…you made a hasty decision…now it’s over. Avoid him…or at least, be cordial and not romantic.

He will quickly figure out that you’re not being sentimental. And he will want to taste that emotional connection again. Reward him for the effort he puts forth. Make him chase you all over again.

3. Don’t focus pleasing him…focus on looking good and attractive to other men.

Jealousy is petty, isn’t it? Well, the thing is, you’re not actually toying with him when you try to boost your own confidence by looking good for others. You’re impressing him. So in the coming days and weeks, post excellent photos of yourself on social media. Return to the independent and flirty person you were before you met him. Let him know that you have no plans on slacking off…you’re still going to look like a knockout. You’re STILL his ultimate fantasy…if only he works hard enough to win you over again.

In fact, I strongly recommend being a little overconfident after sex than under-confident. Don’t insult yourself, don’t be shy about your body. Don’t talk negative about yourself. Be positive and let him sense that sex doesn’t change anything with you—you’re still the same attractive and fun person the next morning.

4. Don’t want him more than he wants you.

Continuing on, you must not tip him off that you want him more than he wants you—or else, frankly, you’ll give him a big head. This means that you should intentionally stay busy in life, and avoid texting him first, calling him or arranging for another date. This gives the impression he wants you more than you want him. You can reward him for persistently reaching out for your attention, but not a second too soon. He texts / calls first.

This makes him realize what a great date he had with you, and how he may never experience anything like it again…until he tries. By being unavailable, you let him soak in all the “oxytocin” love drug, and let him figure out that he likes you well beyond just sex.

I personally advocate the “I like you but…” scenario. You can’t let a guy know that you want him more than he wants you. But at the same time, you want to reward him for effort, right? So when he wants to talk about the relationship, start thinking in terms of “I do like you…but”. This gives him a challenge. It lets him know that you are sexually attracted to him, maybe even compatible with him, but…

There’s always a but! (And this drives him a little crazy)

BUT he needs to show that he’s committed to you and really wants to work hard to chase you and keep your attention. You reward him based only on the attention he gives you. When he slacks off, you get bored and you stop reacting.

This sends a strong message—you had a great time with him, BUT…

But now life moves on! What does he really want from you? Believe me, this attitude is what pushes a guy’s buttons and what makes them eventually “kneel” for your approval, if you get my drift.

5. When he earns another “night in heaven” with you, DO NOT do more of the same. Make it even better.

The first time was based solely on passion and curiosity, right? This time, and the next time, you’re going for fantasy fulfillment. Find out what he likes sexually, why he’s uniquely attracted to you, and what his real desires are. Give him his fantasy (within reason of course) and let him know that he will NEVER date a woman this good ever again—someone who actually enjoys pleasuring him and makes the experience about HIM, just as much as it’s about you.

I know this sounds simple, but believe me, most women just let sex “happen”. They figure it’s what the guy wants, and so they give it to him. But they don’t put effort into it, they don’t really reward him with an extra special performance.

Appealing to his fantasies, and consistently improving, is a sure way to keep him interested, even beyond the novelty of first time sex.

As you can see, you have nothing to worry about, even if you do have sex with him a little bit too soon. So as long as you keep the chase going, and become even more attractive to him after the fact, he will come back to you!

This makes him see you as the One Special Woman in his life…

If you’re struggling with a man who plays “hot and cold,” is slipping away, or taking you for granted…

And you want him to see you as “the one special woman” in his life…

Then you’re probably missing this one strange secret…

Click here to discover the secret << 

This one thing makes a man feel an irresistible desire to pursue you…

…invest in you…

…fight for you…

…and move mountains to please you and be with you.

If you’re ready to finally be seen and cherished by the man you choose, you may just need to just do or say one thing differently.

Click here to be cherished by the man you want << 

Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. Even if a man is pulling away, ignoring you, or taking you for granted…

You can completely change the way he sees you and make him yours with this one little secret…

Click here to discover the secret that will make his heart yours <<

30 thoughts on “How to Keep a Guy Interested After Sleeping with Him”

  1. What can I do with stubborn man, and self interest and greed with fianances?how can I win by allowing him to assist fianancially?

  2. Well Thanks so much, good evening, am Barbra, I would like to help me in choosing the right guy for me here. Well I have 5 men I love, one I love of his handsomeness,2 of his vision,3 of his handsomeness and happiness extremely makes me happy without anything like gifts just by being with chatting talking and understandable,4 of his humbleness and 5 of his hard work so which is the right guy for me here among the 5. Thanks.

  3. So I’ve been with this guy for sometime…we have had sex but never really established a relationship. I love him though and he knows it, he once suggested making things official but, this was when he was drunk. When he is sober he goes cold, ignoring my calls and not calling back. I don’t what to think of him except that maybe he isn’t interested and I should leave him. Please advise

    1. Find a man who doesn’t get drunk; you will never be able to have a fully reliable relationship with an alcoholic because they are emotionally unhealthy. And their emotions are controlled by chemicals.

  4. I had sex with a guy on a first date and after I discovered his married, I confronted him with it and he said they are no longer together and he truly love me. What I my to do and how do I know if he truly loves me. Thanks

    1. You run. That is manipulation. If you want a man to actually care what YOU think or feel, you need to find one who doesn’t manipulate outcomes for his benefit.

  5. I met a guy that is super attractive to me and super easy to talk to. We slept together 2 days ago and I havent said anything big because I dont want to be the one that starts the conversation each time. He is the type of guy that runs on adrenaline so he loves thrilling things. How do I impress him and get him back for another round or to just hangout by using that persoanlity trait? He is the type of guy that would love to go do anything on his days off (beach trip, bowling, mini golf, maybe hookup, etc) so I dont think it will be hard to get him interested. I am just worried because I dont want him to think I am clingy or seem like I’m interested in a relationship. I just think he is a cool guy that I would love to hangout with more. Let me know what you think I should do to keep him interested?

    1. I have had a guy on my mind for some time. Each time we are apart and I try to interest him in a drink he always tells me he is seeing someone else. I now have 2 tickets to a football game that I would love to take him to, I just don’t know how to ask.

  6. Can you please send me some of the examples of a value switch especially when man takes you for granted or slipping away

  7. I met a guy for awhile now and we kinda go well together but few days back we had sex and I seriously don’t want to loose him, I want him head over heels for me, like madly in love with me. Please I want to know what I can do, I can’t stop thinking about him.

  8. Magriet Mertz

    I went out with a lot of men before I met my husband but whan I met him I never looked at anyone else again. But I had none of the issues as described above at all. We were perfectly right for each other and I did not need to hide my feelings or play any games or anything. It just worked because we were meant for each other.

    1. This is how it should and can be. I experienced this once, and it was the greatest love of my life. Unfortunately he passed. But you are right. This is how it can be when you both are already sent to fully see and love and understand another person. And you match in every way.

  9. I have had sex with a special guy, who is in a not so good marriage. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am truly attracted to this man and has be attracted to me for a long time, he just revealed this to me. I don’t want to lose him. I want to ease him everytime we are together. I know he has feelings for me or he would not text and come over and share intimate thoughts and fantasies with me.

    1. Jennifer Bristol

      Mia, as long as he’s married, he’s off the market. Tell him you’ll see him after he gets a divorce.

    2. There’s no judgment because I do believe people can be in the wrong marriage and meet someone they match, but you need to withhold physical intimacy, at least until he is divorced. It will just get complicated and it will be likely that it will drag on and he will never be able to fully choose you unless he has to make that choice. Also, even a good hearted man with sometimes tell you his marriage is terrible but meanwhile he’s telling his wife. He loves her and wants to make it work. They can get caught in the middle and you can get pulled into that. So be very careful with your heart.

  10. He was my dream guy, I did everything wrong. I mean everything. Together for 5 months, now I just hope he calls – still want him. I want him to come back.

  11. I have been talking to a gentleman for over a year. Mostly texts. He sends me music and pictures of himself, family and friends even remodeling of his home. I usually get wake up calls with endearing short text. We have exchanged cards twice for special occasions. I sent him a small gift plaque for
    valentines day and I received a cute card. I text him that I desired more from him…meaning I expected a call just to hear his voice. After a couple of days having heard from him and thinking this was out of character for him, I called. Call went to voice mail “saying I’ll call you right back. Now I’m wondering if he thought I was seeking a gift of some sort. I was going to explain that I just wanted a verbal conversation. Its been a few days since so now I am confused. I must say I have developed an emotional attachment to him and we had planned to meet. He twice scheduled time for us to meet but it never happened. He lives in the mid west an I on the west coast. He has said please be patient and I want to be however I don’t want to be taken advantage of and have my heart broken. He will be retiring soon and I wonder if this will make a difference. I realize covid and weather conditions play a big part of my situation but I wish he would be a little more forth coming. Should I reach out again?

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *