How to Flirt With Men

Have you ever heard the expression “I am going to seduce you with my awkwardness?”

It’s funny! But come on, unless you look like Scarlet Johansson, that’s probably not going to work. Flirting is as much a conversational challenge as it is a physical one. When we communicate, we project thoughts, attitudes and feelings out to the person we’re talking to.

Having just good looks, a perfect body and a great sense of fashion is not enough to land the man of your dreams. Contrary to stereotypes, successful men don’t want just a pretty woman who worships them all day and night.

Men want an amazing personality as well as good looks. It’s up to you, as an intelligent and discerning woman, to convey these thoughts, attitudes, and feelings to the man you’re interested in. This is what we mean when we say flirting, and believe it or not, it’s not just about sex.

Here are six ways to flirt with men that are both subtle (not too obvious or embarrassing) and yet powerful—so much that he will be fascinated by you!

1. Always be positive!

Smile, make eye contact and make sure that your voice is unaffected by bitterness or resentment. Men can definitely tell if you’re not into them or if your enthusiasm is lacking. Men need to know that their smiling face can make you happy and that you are a happy person in general.

2. Help make the conversation interesting.

Men are under a lot of pressure to charm women since they are usually the “chasers” in a relationship. But it’s not always easy to be a master of conversation. At some point, a man may run out of questions, out of “interesting news”, and funny observations. At that point, most women will just wait around awkwardly for him to continue.

Wrong! A woman who’s really good at flirting will help the man out and try to continue the exciting conversation. She may even make it easy on him and help him think of an introduction so that it’s not so awkward.

You can help him out when he’s running out of material by asking him questions about himself, or about something you’re both interested in, or even something as simple as “How was your weekend?” The key is to ask open-ended questions so that he can provide more details and thus keep the conversation going at a natural pace.

3. React strongly to him!

Men love BIG reactions! This is just human nature. When we meet a person we like, we want their animated reactions. We want them to be just as enthusiastic, excited and intrigued as we are. This shows us that the other person is not just being polite…they really like us!

All the more so when flirting with men.

While men will tolerate women who speak at a monotone and who have the so-called “poker face”, women who smile, listen closely, comment, and laugh (when something is genuinely funny) are always more popular.

A woman who reacts and is fun to talk to will always have the attention of men. Think of it this way: if you’re a comedian, who do you like more? The audience that’s laughing and cheering or the audience that’s listening in awkward silence?

Exactly. And that’s how men see it. They want to know that your reactions are genuine, not nervous, not polite. They want to feel confident, funny, romantic, and you’re the one who lets them know how they’re doing.

4. Touch him when the time is right.

The “physical barrier” is always in the back of a man’s mind. Few men will ever touch you first, since they don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. That’s why men will usually wait for YOU to make the first initial physical contact, usually a touch on the hand, shoulder, elbow and so on.

Asking a man to dance (or waiting to be asked) is another way of breaking the touch barrier. In general, whenever you touch a man this sends a strong signal that you’re comfortable in his presence and that you enjoy the intimacy you have with him. This will give him more confidence to try a little harder and make the attraction more romantic, and less platonic.

5. Learn the art of teasing him.

One of the best flirting techniques you will ever learn is the subtle art of teasing. I say subtle because a lot of people get this wrong, and they “try so hard” to tease they come across as just mean-spirited, nasty or aggressive. That’s not what teasing is.

Teasing is a more subtle art, because you’re NOT insulting the guy—you’re just gently mocking him. Mocking someone is alternately defined as “mimicry” or “imitating.” This shows us that teasing should be a form of communication, not hostility, as in you’re teasing him because you’re learning who he is.

You’re communicating positive feelings when you tease him. You’re not actually disrespecting him—just getting him to smile or laugh with a little gentle ribbing. If you ever spend any time with older married couples (especially your grandparents) you’ll notice they tend to flirt like this all the time. They poke each other innocently and sort of “fake argue” just for the entertainment of guests. This is what teasing is all about. It makes a person smile, not feel threatened.

6. Break out of the friend zone with an (innocent) suggestive comment.

While the above tips are great for getting a relationship started, they are more becoming of friendship than romance. This is why you might have to use #6 if you sense that your guy is too afraid to actually make a romantic gesture.

One of the best ways to do this is to make a little “innocent comment” that seems suggestive, or sexual in nature, but that’s not so obvious.

For example, texting a simple “Sorry I was in the shower” really sets him up to make a comeback that opens sexual tension. You give him the visual…he now has a golden opportunity to flirt back with you.

Or you could even say something more direct like “Just about to watch a horror flick…wish you were here to keep me safe :P”

In this case, you’re hinting at the attraction you both have, but fall short of actually telling him what to do. Again, you’re putting the idea into his head, that the two of you could be more than friends if he just made a move.

Remember, flirting with a guy is all about positivity, encouragement (so that he’ll work harder to please you), and a great reward as you give him the big reactions that he yearns to see.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

What’s stopping you from meeting Mr Right and having the relationship you want? Click here to take the quiz.

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field