Am I in Love? Here’s How to Know

By the time you realize your power as a woman (and more to the point, your power as a smart woman who knows exactly what a man wants!) you might start asking deep questions like…

Is this guy really the best guy I’m ever going to find? I like him, but am I in LOVE with him? Are we going to have a great honeymoon but then grow to hate each other over time? How do I know this is the love of my life?

These thoughts are normal and no, it doesn’t indicate you’re a bad person just because you’re thinking ahead and thinking unemotionally. Of course, we enjoy a relationship where the sex is good and the conversation is interesting.

But even though you may be intellectually compatible with a guy doesn’t necessarily mean you feel the SPARK! The passion, the right chemistry that just runs wild with your imagination.

After all, isn’t it true that when you’re in love you just “know it?” That if you’re doubting, you probably haven’t met the right one? Believe it or not, it’s not that simple.

But that’s what we’re going to talk about now. Specifically, how you know you’re actually in love, or if it’s just general compatibility. Let’s break it down into four easy-to-remember lessons. Here is what real love actually feels like versus other imposter forms of love.

1. Real love lasts and grows stronger over time.

Physical and sexual attraction is what you might call gut-level. It doesn’t make much sense logically speaking, probably because it’s mostly a physical emotion. Our bodies react sexually to a person we like usually for selfish reasons. Maybe you like the idea of such a hot or successful guy, even though your lifestyles may be incompatible. Maybe you like his killer confidence even though his attributes are lacking.

Lust is only good for sex. After the novelty wears off you really don’t have much in common. During that time before sex happens, you may even notice your attraction to him is based on an almost reverential view of him. In other words, he’s perfect. He’s everything you’ve been waiting for. You’re obsessively attracted to him and can’t really explain why—certainly not from the intelligent conversations you barely seem to have with him. He may be friendly towards you but there’s no indication he’s actually that interested in you. It’s the sort of “love” that could easily be crushed within a day after a series of bad moves from either one of you.

Real love, on the other hand, only grows stronger over time. You may find your ideal partner interesting at first, but not “dangerously sexy” or uncontrollably attractive. Your attraction is balanced with a desire to get to know him. Love will only intensify in the months and years to come. You may even become friends at first, because of the mutual respect that exists between the two of you.

2. He brings out the best in you…because real love brings out the best in people.

One characteristic of lust is that it makes you nervous, anxious, and oftentimes leaves you in heartache. Almost everyone that suffers from a lusty relationship reports feeling very negative emotions.

But love is something different. Love actually makes you feel better, about life, about yourself, and about the future. Your partner loves you unselfishly and so you are not focused on fixing the relationship or babying him through another fit. He supports you and you support him. It’s a balanced relationship with both partners having a calming, beneficial effect on the other.

3. You love yourself first…and so attract a partner that you deserve

This is a life lesson that’s not too commonly shared among singles. But it’s important because learning it will actually protect you from narcissistic personalities that try to “love bomb” you into bed and then break your heart.

When you love yourself you attract a different kind of person. When you take the time you learn yourself and build yourself up with positivity and a healthy outlook on life, you attract someone who LOVES that person, that successful and happy person. Love comes easier because you both love yourselves and you both chase higher standards.

On the contrary, when you don’t love yourself you can actually attract some dangerous people. Men who prey upon vulnerable women. Men who love bomb you with attention in the beginning and for no good reason, since you hardly know the guy! Men who are codependent, not quite right in the head, and so on and so on.

This is why love usually comes to women who have reached maturity. They learned from their previous relationships to love themselves and not define their own happiness by what a lover demands of them. They know their worth, they know their value. They know they deserve an honest and gentle lover and so they don’t send out signals to men who are obviously looking for someone weak to exploit.

Work on self-improvement first and reach your full potential. You may be surprised by how quickly you see results in the dating world when you make this attitude adjustment.

4. Real love is built on a foundation of unconditional caring about the other person.

When you’re actually in love you stop thinking about what the guy can do for you and begin thinking of ways you can make him happy. You’ve come to love him over the experiences you’ve shared together. Now, it’s not so much that you “could do better than him”, but more along the lines of, “Why would I ever want to hurt him by cheating or leaving?”

You are now emotionally invested in this man. You feel at home with him and you feel safe to be yourself. In fact, you’re more “Yourself” around him than you are to anyone else. He knows the real you.

You may argue from time to time, but it’s never with the intention of hurting each other’s feelings. You are willing to compromise and let things go because you cherish the relationship more than anything else. You “win” by keeping the peace, not by getting the last word or proving a point.

As you can see, real love requires a significant time investment, learning each other, as well as learning yourself. But you will definitely know it’s real love when you realize that above all, you just love each other’s company. You can’t imagine saying goodbye because it’s just much more fun when you’re together and playing off each other. Love is internal happiness, plain and simple.

40 Flirty Texts That Men Absolutely Love

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to your man to bring you closer together, I’ve put together a guide of 40 fun and flirty text messages that will spark a stronger and deeper desire in whatever man you use them with.

If you don’t know what to say to your man, use these “cut and paste” text messages from my free guide and watch how much he absolutely loves it!

Click Here to Get My Free Text Message Guide Now

 

 

 

 

 

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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