A Letter to My Boyfriend That Will Make Him Cry

I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine years ago. Like many men, he had grown up smart, idealistic, a bit shy, and not that successful with women. I tried to give him some advice, though of course he knew exactly what I was going to tell him.

Don’t be ashamed of your intelligence. If you want to marry an equally smart woman, then don’t dumb yourself down or pretend to be someone you’re not. You’re going to be glad you waited for someone compatible.

It’s okay to have high standards but don’t be idealistic to the point where you’re not flexible. And of course, try to be more outgoing because shyness is counterintuitive to meeting new people – and the woman of your dreams.

Eventually he listened and one day he stopped being so anti-social and made a serious effort to get out more. Not only did meet a woman he really liked, he met about three different women. So later on he comes to me for completely different advice. How can I choose between three women that I really like?

I said, well what are the best qualities of each person? At first he said that all of them were similar. Smart, attractive, good conversationalists. But then I helped him pinpoint what he was really looking for.

He said that only one of the three friends he was thinking of dating “spoke to his heart.” I asked him what that meant. He said that whereas the two other women were sexy, intelligent and funny, they seemed to be distant emotionally. He was very open with his feelings and they weren’t so much. He said that quality of having heart was important.

I said well maybe the two other women were afraid to be open, because they think guys don’t want to see that.

He said, “No that’s not true. Men love emotion, we respond to it. It’s what makes us feel love. But emotion is so powerful…a woman, like a man, has to know how to control it.”

And there you have it. Showing emotion is not a bad thing. A woman being overly emotional and volatile is what he’s afraid of! But men are drawn to positive displays of emotion like stray animals to a warm house on a cold wintry night. So as long as you have control over yourself and your life, showing genuine emotion will always be a positive thing.

So my advice is that if you want a man to notice you and feel something strong for you, like true love, be open emotionally. One of the best ways you can do this is to write a letter (or an email if you prefer). Here is a sample letter that tugs at the heart strings as well as some analyses to help you craft your own letter.

How can you ask me if I love you? (NAME), you are the very first thought that comes to mind in the morning. Every time I wake up I feel you with me, I think about you, and I wish you were here. Whenever I am sad, I think about you and your humor and your amazing mind and I cheer up instantly. When I am finally with you, I’m going to be the happiest person alive because I will have you. All I want after that is to spend the rest of my life making you feel loved.

Appeal to his desire to be thought of, loved and appreciated. Men work hard because they want constant and intense affection. Give him what he wants and assure him that he does make you happy.

I know sometimes we argue but I hope you know that I would never say or do anything to intentionally hurt you. It hurts me in my heart to know that I cause you pain. It hurts to argue with you because I love you. Always remember that I love you, even if we both need time apart. Even if something happens. You are a part of me.

Make him feel SAFE with you, by assuring him that you would never hurt him intentionally. He should always feel secure in this relationship because you’re looking out for his needs, just as he is looking out for yours. You are in this together.

Please don’t ever doubt that I love you. I believe in you. You cannot see yourself the way other people see you. But you are an inspiration to those around you. You’re a genius and you are so noble. I am proud to be your girl. You’re precious to me and you have transformed my life in wonderful ways.

Believe in him, not just because he’s a great guy, but because you appreciate how unique he is among all other men. He wants to know why you’re inspired by him and why you’re so invested in him emotionally.

I try not to be jealous even though it comes across that way sometimes. Maybe it’s because deep down, I just know what a wonderful man you are and I hate the idea of you leaving me or finding someone else. The thing is, I love you enough to let you go and not stalk you or spend the rest of my life hating you. I have always thought it was a special gift that I met you and that we pursued this relationship so honestly and openly. I only want what you want because I love you. When you love someone this much, you are willing to let them be who they really want to be. So go and be yourself and I will always cheer for you, my beloved.

Loving someone enough to let them go is a strong gesture of true love. Whereas someone possessive and angry would work hard to pain their ex-lover, if you love him, let him go be who he wants to be. Love him enough to end the relationship if that’s what he really wants. Giving him his freedom to be happy, is what true friendship is all about. He must sense that you love him beyond just the terms of the relationship. Even if your relationship changed, you would still have feelings for each other, always, and that’s emotionally impacting.

Can you feel me next to you, cuddling against you? I always imagine you with me, when I miss you. I pretend like I’m curled up at your chest listening to your heartbeat. It reminds me of how close we’ve been and how close we’ll be again soon. Sometimes I cry because I miss you that much. But everything is temporary…and I know soon, we’ll be in each other’s arms again. And that’s what keeps me smiling, waiting, and loving you.

Finally, engage his senses by describing your feelings. Briefly mention that being away from him hurts you, but that he can easily “fix” things by coming home and hugging you tightly. Whet his appetite for romance, for love and for strong emotional bonding. He will always come home from work, ready to hug and kiss and make you happy.

Writing letters to make him cry is all a matter of making him FEEL what he wants to feel. He wants to feel valued, appreciated, safe, free, and most of all, loved deeply for who he really is inside. Show him that and he’ll cry tears of joy.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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