8 Relationship Quotes

Some might say we are a cynical society in 2018. Long term commitments have decreased. Over half of all marriages end in divorce. The average young adult tries living with a partner before considering the Big Step of marriage…and she may go years bouncing from relationship to relationship, without ever getting serious about commitment.

Where are we going as a society? What is the secret to making a long-term relationship work? Here are eight relationship quotes that will make you think and help you see the best way to create a happy future.

1. Unknown: “You don’t marry the person you can live with. You marry the person you can’t live without.”

The break from tradition when marriage and the provision of children was a “family

obligation” has been liberating for many women. It has removed the stigma from the word spinster, which has been used to describe women who had not been married by age thirty. There have been fewer “teenage weddings” (as the old Chuck Berry song goes) for young couples who are unprepared for family responsibilities…the same couples who usually divorce because they fell in love too soon.

Overall, things have improved in modern society. We’ve chosen who we love and we have also chosen how long we can love them. Marriage is now built on true compatibility, not the socially-imposed need to get married and “grow up”.

2. Louis de Bernieres: When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision.

This is how many people approach relationships today but it’s not the healthy way to do it. Stumbling into a relationship built on sudden and intense attraction can be misleading. It can lead to volatile relationships built on intensity (great sexual tension but maddening drama and fighting). Indeed, love can feel like temporary madness, which is why we suggest slowing things down and exploring your partner’s mind over the long-term.

3. Friedrich Nietzsche: “It’s not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

Love is so intoxicating, we forget our significant other is first of all, a companion, a separate individual with separate thoughts, personality traits, needs and desires. The union of two people doesn’t mean there’s an automatic psychic link that compels your lover and yourself to behave as one person. So in that sense, the soulmate theory is untrue.

Ideally, two partners want to discover each other’s separateness – their independence – as well common interests. It means treating each other with the same courtesy we treat our best friends.

4. David Levithan: “It’s one thing to fall in love. It’s another to feel someone else fall in love with you, and to feel a responsibility toward that love.”

It’s so wonderful when the person you’re falling in love with is falling in love with you! It can make you feel like you’re on top of the world. But that celebration comes with a full bag of other emotions. For some, having someone fall in love with them is a game of

manipulation and conquest. It’s about stirring up jealousies and making demands.

Love isn’t a game. It isn’t about conquest. It isn’t about manipulating your lover to keep the attention on you. It’s about acknowledging emotional needs and respecting sensitivities. It is a responsibility, indeed.

5. Toni Morrison: “She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It’s good, you know, when you’ve got a woman who is a friend of your mind.”

We all have felt at a little broken from time to time. We’ve all felt the pain of drawing too close to fire and becoming consumed by it. Like moths, wingless and helpless. It’s afterward, when the flames die down, a healing begins. Love is a smooth putting of things back together when the heartache strikes. It’s understanding, kindness and patience. It’s looking into the mind of your significant other and liking the view, regardless of the past.

6. Aphra Benn: One hour of right down love is worth an age of dully living on.

Fear of failure hinders us from seeking true love. Maybe we remember our first disastrous teenage crush or are still bitter over our parents’ divorce, so we hold back, afraid of the attachment and how long it will last.

We can’t guarantee a moment of our lives. You can’t guarantee the man you are with will feel the same way about you tomorrow, or that your interests will remain the same. What can be guaranteed is that you don’t surrender yourself completely to love, if it breaks you, tears you down or robs you of the joy of life itself.

If this sounds like the relationship you’re in, this is not love. Ending it and starting over again is the only solution.

7. Mark Twain: To get the true value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with.

Love is such a roller coaster ride, with so many responsibilities, difficulties and emotional stress, it can make a person wonder if it’s all worthwhile.

We are social creatures by nature. The adventurer is happiest with people who love adventure. The sports person enjoys being around others who appreciate sports. Everything we do that gives us pleasure, whether it’s outdoor barbeques, eating popcorn

and pizza while watching television, or Sunday strolls in the park, we enjoy more if we are sharing the experience with someone we love. When you have someone to love, all those small joys add up to a lifetime of happy memories.

8. John Steinbeck: If it is right, it happens. The main thing is, not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love is patient. It knows no end or beginning. It’s just there from the moment you feel its first surge of emotion. It surrounded your birth. It gave you life. Your ability to love is the result of the love you had been given and it is only natural for you to give that love back.

Loving somebody doesn’t mean they are obligated to love you back. If you love them wholly, you are caring, receptive, joyful and patient. You ask nothing in return because what you feel is sincere. That person can rely on you. If it’s meant to be, that love will be returned.

Relationships can be painful. They can sometimes be messy and be filled with misunderstandings. Riding through the rough times is challenging. We test our love through demands and temptations when we feel insecure and withdraw when we feel hurt or angry. It’s when we remember we are individuals sharing mutual paths through life that we begin to treat each other as friends as well as lovers.

It’s when we pick up the pieces and put them back together that we grow stronger. It’s when we have compiled enough joy to share for a lifetime that we begin living a lifetime of joy. Love grows ever stronger.

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you’ve been banging your head against the wall because you’ve fallen for a man who’s frustratingly unavailable…

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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