7 Signs You’re with “The One”

Is it true that familiarity breeds contempt…or to put it in more modern language, “That every relationship eventually becomes boring and unbearable”?

Actually no, that’s one misconception about love and marriage. If you’re actually in love, you don’t dread the routines. You don’t grow to hate the appearance of your partner. And you don’t have boring conversations or screaming arguments. These are all the signs of an unhappy relationship. The kind of partners that should never have been married in the first place!

In contrast, real love is comforting. It has a positive effect on both of you, even if there are routines, and moments of nothingness, and even heated arguments. When you’re in love, you’re not pressured to get married—rather you desire the security of marriage. You feel a strong emotional connection and want to commit to the love you feel.

That’s what real marriage feels like. Now, just in case you’re confused about what it looks like this early on, we’ve narrowed it down to seven sure signs that you’re with the “right one”. Let’s see what love feels like…

1. You disagree but you find ways to manage conflict.

Arguments are inevitable because they are the natural result of a disagreement. So don’t be chasing a perfect relationship where you always agree with each other. What matters is that you respect each other enough that you are willing to negotiate and find ways to manage the conflicts that do come up.

2. The potential of the relationship doesn’t matter. You’re happy now.

So many couples get together with assumptions about what they owe each other. They get together because of their partner’s potential. If only she joined a gym, if only he becomes successful, if only our careers are in-sync. These are all bad reasons to get married because they’re dependent on change. But you can’t predict change and you certainly can’t pressure your partner to be just a little more perfect.

Real love is not about settling on someone and it’s not about hoping in someone. It’s about enjoying their company in the now. It’s about respecting his personality and character right now and hopefully with many more days of growing together and growing in love.

3. What’s “boring” and mundane is actually really interesting.

Here’s the thing: when you’re really bored in a marriage, it’s not because of the familiar conversation. It’s because you’re bored of the man sitting across from you. But if you love someone, even the most mundane and “everyday” conversations are suddenly very interesting.

You’re intellectually compatible. You can talk about almost anything because you both respect each other’s opinion and you admire your partner for feeling the way he does. You love listening to the same old stories he tells, about his job, about his hobbies and passions in life. He also loves talking to you and going over all the details that you include. Honest and active communication helps build a strong relationship.

4. There may be fighting sometimes, but there’s usually no drama.

There are arguments…sometimes there may even be heated discussion or verbal sparring. But most healthy relationships end in a peaceful way: you forgive each other. You don’t harp on the same issue every fight. You don’t demean each other or make demands on how to be a better spouse. You’re both willing to admit when you’re wrong and acknowledge good points about your partner, even if you don’t always agree. In short, you end fights, you don’t keep them going for years on end.

Dysfunctional relationships, on the other hand, thrive on drama, on extreme conflict, and on vicious personal attacks.

5. Your friends and family really can’t think of anything negative to say.

You might be surprised at just how honest friends and family can be when they sense a problem. No, they usually don’t browbeat you and demand you break up. But mothers, dads and BFFs will always volunteer their opinion if you really want to know. They will quickly note any nagging flaws in a man’s character, such as dishonesty, arrogance, hostility, a lack of respect for you, or something else that really bothers them.

But when your loved ones meet someone who really loves you, they WILL root for you. They will know he’s the one, not only by the happiness they see in you, but also because they sense he is exactly what you need. You shouldn’t base your entire life on what your friends and family want…but it never hurts to ask their honest opinion. You might be surprised at what they say.

6. You know how to make each other happy.

Bad relationships are all about placating an angry partner…or fighting to the death! Calmer and more stable relationships are all about making each other happy. More to the point, you know exactly how to make him happy—what he wants, what surprises him, and what makes him smile. He also knows you very well. He supports you and is more than happy to give to you, provide for you, and make sure you feel loved in just the right way. Your love is characterized by deep respect as well as a willingness to please each other. Not because you have to, or because it’s an obligation. It’s simply because giving each other gifts of love brings both of you great joy.

7. You share the same goals in life…and yes, that makes it much easier!

It’s not just that you admire your partner’s character, even though that is important. In this case, you both have the same priorities in life. You both have shared values, shared morals and see the world in a similar way. You both want the same things in life and so it’s easy to keep respect going and build a future together. When partners discover they have nothing in common they grow apart quickly. What really keeps you together is that you’re walking down the same road in life…and you’re happy about it!

You may still be attracted to other men and have some doubts from time to time. But as long as you notice these signs, you shouldn’t worry too much. There is clearly a great love developing between you and it will only become stronger as time goes on.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

What's stopping you from meeting Mr Right and having the relationship you want? Click here to take the quiz.

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field