5 Signs He Doesn’t Want to Commit to You

Warning: This may be the toughest article you’ll ever have to read. Learning how a man really feels about you can be a punch to the heart. All the more so, if you’ve waited for him, or gradually fell in love with him over time. You want him not only to sense how you feel but also to come to love and respect you, because dammit you deserve him!

Especially compared to his ex-girlfriend! You would be so good for him. You would complete him. You would help him find the joy in life. Your shared interests and compatibility, your strong mutual attraction, all of its points to one simple fact: You were made for each other!

It sounds like a wonderful romance. But is really going to happen? It all depends on him. He may already like you. Maybe you’ve been analyzing his behavior for months now. Maybe he’s given you a number of very subtle signs that he’s into you.

You may be right! He may be into you. The real question is, “Does he seem ready to commit to you?” Or does he primarily see you as:

• Just another girl
• Just another conquest
• Just another friend
• Just another friend of a friend
• Just another work colleague

You get the point. You have to determine whether he’s serious about you, and is willing to chase you, or if he’s just not that motivated to COMMIT to the challenge.

So yes, the guy smiling at you, staring at you or being nice and touchy-feely are good signs. But THESE five signs are more telling.

1. Your instincts are telling you, “Something’s wrong.” This is because he’s no longer chasing you.

Don’t underestimate the power of your subconscious mind. You can call it “negative thinking” if you prefer. That voice that tells you, “I don’t think he’s really serious about me.” Your intuition senses that although he “likes you”, he’s not ready to make sacrifices for you. He’s not ready to change his lifestyle just to be with you. These are the things your subconscious mind notices about a guy, even if he’s sweet-talking you to his face. In other words, whereas some guys try VERY HARD to get your attention, some guys do not try at all. They give you seconds or minutes of their time, but nothing beyond that. They have no real commitment to give to you.

2. He pretty much admitted what he wants…but you’re still wrestling with the idea.

Guys are surprisingly good at making blunt, honest statements. Sure, they can get carried away with romance, sex and emotion. But they still do find the time to make cryptic comments like:

• I don’t see myself getting married.
• I don’t really want to rush into a commitment.
• I don’t want to date anyone for at least _ months.
• Sometimes I wonder if I’m ready for a long-term relationship.

In other words, a man expressing his doubt is kind of like real honesty. It’s a very clear window into his mind, what he’s thinking and feeling. Maybe he doesn’t have the guts to say it outright. Or maybe he is confused himself about what he feels. But if he takes the time to make a comment about the potential relationship and it’s negative, that’s a HUGE sign. Don’t get carried away with false hope. A man expressing doubt is still a more important sign than one very flirty conversation.

3. You still don’t know much about his private life.

A man who has no plans to commit to you won’t bother letting you into his private life. He will avoid introducing you to his parents. He won’t pressure you to meet his friends. He won’t even meet your friends. He’ll think up excuses when the conversation comes up. In other words, he’s James Bond and you’re the beautiful girl that won’t be back for the sequel!

On the other hand, a man who really likes you will be eager to see how you interact with his family, friends, and acquaintances. He wants to test you to see if you can “fit” his lifestyle well before he commits in heart to you. So if you still know practically nothing about his daily routines, weekly plans or monthly/yearly customs, not to mention any of his family members, there’s a good chance he doesn’t see a future.

4. If you pay attention…it’s always about “I”, not “WE”.

Everyone loves a free therapist and guys will definitely appreciate talking to a pretty woman about their problems. And maybe he’ll even ask you how things are going. After a while though you’ve noticed something. All the conversations are about him. He mostly speaks in terms of “I am going to…” or “I think I want to do this next year…”

That means you’re not a WE. You’re just an audience to his “I”. He is conversing with you as a friend and doesn’t really think of you as part of his future.

When a man is really into you and ready to commit, he makes it very clear that it’s about the two of you. He’s ready to provide. Eager to know what’s going on in your life and how he can help. It stops being about “I” and becomes “WE”.

5. He is “up in the air.”

A man is probably not going to commit himself to you if he knows his life is going at full train wreck speed. I’m sure there are exceptions to every rule but most men who are “up in the air” and juggling careers, relationships and lifestyle routines are not in a position to commit to anyone. Deep down they know this.

Even if a man really likes you, he will wrestle with his conscience. He will think, “I really love her!” But he will feel, “She deserves better than me.”

Don’t get mixed up with a guy who has potential. One of the best qualities to look for in a marriage mate is STABILITY. Because his life is organized. His mind is at peace. He is happy…and so can devote more time to making you happy and building a family. A man who has no idea what he wants has nothing to offer you…besides a fleeting romance.

So the next time you’re feeling confused about what a man wants, make it a point to notice what he says and the effort he puts forth to please you. It’s not just about vibes or a good conversation. His pattern of behavior in dealing with you tells the real story.

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you’ve been banging your head against the wall because you’ve fallen for a man who’s frustratingly unavailable…

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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