UNCENSORED: How does a guy know when he's in love

30 Funny Good Morning Texts for Him

Whether you’ve just met a guy you like, or are already in a serious relationship, sometimes the “morning after” texts are the most awkward.

What if you slept together? Or, what if you just went out on one date and you’re not quite sure how you feel about each other? What if you haven’t gone out at all yet, but still seem to text each other off and on? There seems to be some attraction but you don’t know what else to say!

Hey, guess what? All of these scenarios are solved in the same way: DON’T take things too seriously. Don’t get into conflict or heavy conversations. Just have a few laughs! Guys are usually the ones who like to share funny memes and crack jokes, but there’s no reason women can’t do it just the same.

That’s why I made a list of funny good morning texts to help you get started. Just think of a guy like your own studio audience and you’re the talk show host. No need to make things weird. Just keep things light. Here are 32 examples of funny texts in the morning.

1. Good morning. Please observe a moment of silence for the roaches I stepped on earlier today.
2. Morning! Today is going to be a great and positive day! Who knows, maybe your boss will be eaten by wolves! See, positive thoughts!
3. Morning, you are my angle. And you’re both obtuse and acute.
4. (After Sex) Morning. I can’t believe how drunk I got last night. I hooked up with some hot guy and made a fool of myself. Oh wait that guy was you! And I wasn’t drunk.
5. Good morning. You know, I don’t need an alarm clock. I wake up at the dawn of each day with a cat sitting on my chest meowing.
6. There are two kinds of people in the world. Happy morning people…and the people who secretly want to kill them.
7. Every morning I check the news to make sure I’m not listed in the obituaries. Then I know it’s a good day and I figure I might as well get up. Have a good morning!
8. (Boyfriend) Good morning, handsome. But you know I’m only flattering you to get your sexy ass into bed.
9. Good morning, Captain. In Vulcan there is an expression for a man like you. It goes, “Ohhh you’re so hot!”
10. I made you breakfast in bed. But I forgot we live in two different places. So now I’m eating your breakfast in bed at work!
11. Let’s have a contest to determine who sends the earliest morning text. OK go…I win! I win! I like winning stuff.
12. Garfield wrote me saying I should give you fair warning. Today is Monday.
13. I invented a new emoticon to describe how I feel about you. Oh wait, it doesn’t work yet because I just invented it.
14. Good morning (Boyfriend). I’m applying for a job as your assistant. I have a degree in cuddling, a doctorate in sex, and a certificate for making breakfast in bed.
15. Good morning. (Boyfriend) Don’t work too hard today because I’m going to wear you out when you come home, homeboy!
16. I’m feeling thirsty. Hey your body’s made of mostly water, isn’t it?
17. Good morning. (Boyfriend) I’ve heard that kissing is the language of love. On a related note, we have a lot of talking to do when I get home.
18. Good morning. I just want you to know that today is my imaginary birthday. Please send gifts and wish me a happy birthday and give me lots of attention for no apparent reason at all.
19. Morning. I named my naked rat after you. God, don’t make this weird, OK???
20. Morning. Hey want to hear a song I wrote? It’s about tortillas. Well it’s really more of a rap. (Smiley)
21. Good morning. I was thinking of becoming a nun and going celibate. Any thoughts on that?
22. If you were a library book, I’d steal you.
23. (Boyfriend) All this talk of ghosts and here I am wanting you to be my boo (Ghost smiley)
24. Here’s a list of every person that doesn’t think you’re awesome. (Empty) Oh wait maybe Vlad the Impalor. But he’s dead.
25. I just want you to know, I’m not going to objectify you for your body like all the other girls. What I really like about you is your comic book collection.
26. Good morning. (Boyfriend) I was thinking last night…You are a lot like pizza. I don’t know how exactly…I just want to order you, have you come over, and fill me up.
27. Morning, stranger. My dog misses you a lot. You should come see him sometime.
28. Morning. My friends are getting tired of hearing your name. But they just gotta deal with it because you’re awesome.
29. Morning, blue-eyes. (Or any color) You’re so cute, your adorable dimples and gorgeous eyes should be illegal.
30. Morning. Hey you kind of remind me of (MOVIE ACTOR). But you know, a better actor.
31. Good morning. I had the weirdest dream about you last night. But you were dressed in drag and had a pet monkey. Want to psycho analyze that? Just kidding…it was a fantasy, not a dream.
32. Sometimes I spend several minutes just wondering what’s wrong with you. What are you hiding? No one is as perfect and awesome as you are. Good morning…but I’m keeping my eye on you.

As you can see, being funny is the easiest way to carry on communication. You start with fun and flirty, nothing too risqué or bold. Then as you progress in the friendship, that’s when you start taking more risks and communicating on a deeper level.

The thing is, if a guy is going to like you, and eventually fall in love with you, he needs positive associations. He’ll start to expect funny messages in the morning. You’re becoming friends now, not just acquaintances. The awkwardness leaves you. Before you know it, the relationship is progressing fast. It just goes to show you how powerful an emotional response laughter is in a relationship.

The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life

There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…

It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…

But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…

It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…

And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…

Have you figured out what it is yet?

Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…

And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…

Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…

Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…

A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…

And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…

Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…

If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…

I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…

Click here to watch the video now <<

My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…

I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…

Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…

When you click the link this link right here <<

I show you what this 5 word phrase is…

I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…

And how to attract the man you want…

Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…

No matter how painful things have been in your past…

You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…

Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…

If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…

If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…

And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…

Click this link to watch my video right now <<

About The Author

Matthew Coast

What's stopping you from meeting Mr Right and having the relationship you want? Click here to take the quiz.

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