Guys talk a mile a minute during early dating. Call this the B.C. period or Before Coitus. Once they get all that angst out of their system they clam up fast! That’s when the sullen grunter extraordinaire comes out with his “I dunno” and “Hmmm” and “Whatever you want.”
Gee, what gives? What happened to all the free entertainment and five minute comedy rants? Now he’s moaning like Young Frankenstein!
Why do guys clam up after sex and romance, anyway? It’s even more confusing when your guy is still in love with you, and still likes cuddling, but simply doesn’t talk very much.
The problem could be that your guy relies on you for emotional stimulation…and so he’s waiting for more questions.
After all, you did a great job of turning them on emotionally and intellectually already. You projected a charming energy and a strong independent persona. You piqued his mind and got him involved in the conversation.
Don’t stop now! Just because the sexual tension is gone doesn’t mean the conversation has to go downhill into the “Dining Dead.”
Just put a little thought into memorizing some interesting questions. Keep them open-ended and encourage him to use his intellect and creativity to come up with some entertaining answers. Here are 13 fun examples.
1. What is your spirit animal?
Many of us have a strong connection with certain animal species. You may even feel linked with them in spirit…so why not ask your guy what animal embodies his qualities? What does his choice of animal say about him and how his mind works, how he sees himself, and so on?
2. If you could travel anywhere on earth, where would you go and why?
What kind of lifestyle and location does he dream about? What would he do once he landed in this exotic location? Why do certain historical or cultural places appeal to him?
3. What song reminds you of me?
Another quirky personality test and one that dares him to be honest and creative, at least when it comes to associating you with a song and lyrics that speak to this unique relationship. Just don’t take offense if he mentions “Witchy Woman”…
4. What would be your unique super power?
Guys love comic books and movies loosely based on those comic books, right? Why not let him use his full imagination and develop not only his own preferred superpower, but also his secret identity, his superhero name, origin story and arch nemeses? Not only is it a reflection of his own values…it’s also a Marvelous idea!
5. What’s your hottest and most forbidden sexual fantasy ever?
Make him blush a little bit, by giving him free reign to name any kinky fantasy he’s been too ashamed to mention so far. Ask him for details. Let him live this fantasy in his mind and experience the rush of confessing something taboo to the partner he loves. He will feel thrilled to let that dark fantasy off his chest and that you’re so cool about it.
6. What’s a favorite memory you have of your parents when you were younger?
At some point, he will want to talk about important things. One of the safest topics and yet the most meaningful will be getting him to talk about his upbringing. What his parent(s) taught him, how he got along with them, what they wanted for him, and other nostalgic questions. To play it safe and not get into any negativity, ask for a favorite memory that he still enjoys.
This is a wonderful moment of vulnerability—sharing his life perspective and some of his favorite memories. Be sensitive and keep things fun and positive, not depressing. This may even be the first time he’s EVER talked about things close to his heart, since, believe it or not, many women never really get this far.
7. What are some of the most annoying habits of people?
Let him rant in a funny way about various foibles in life. These complaints are not only funny, they’re a fascinating insight into what distracts him and what behaviors/habits he himself avoids. Bonus: you also learn what to avoid doing at all costs!
8. What’s the scariest moment you’ve ever had?
Don’t just settle for a sentence. Tell him to describe the encounter in vivid detail. Let him paint the details and transport you there, inside his terrified mind and feeling the terror with you.
9. What fictional character do you most sympathize with?
Great question, especially if you both watch a show together and enjoy it. Ask him to pick a character he most relates to or sympathizes with. You do the same and enjoy living vicariously through the characters of your favorite show.
10. Have you ever pretended to be a woman before? Phone and text chat counts.
You might be surprised by how many guys have to admit this with a fully red face!
11. Which actor in Hollywood should play you?
Or if he’s a real film geek, ask him who would direct it, who would play your role, and how many Oscars it would win!
12. Name something you love but have no earthly idea why.
Sometimes the unconscious mind is the most fascinating! Get your guy to admit an unflattering truth about himself—like terrible movies or TV shows he likes, or even strange people he’s attracted to. The illogic is what makes it interesting. He may even try to explain his strange fixation, but will fail, because it still makes no sense…and that’s what makes it funny.
13. What dish do you like to make the most and how did you learn to make it?
Even better if he treats you to a home-cooked meal of his own choosing! Many men have a passion for cooking, or at the very least a “signature dish” they learned to make way back when and that they still enjoy making today.
As you can see, you can make any question or topic fun. Focus on positive energy and get him to explain why…the more meaningless details, the better, because at least he’s having fun.
Men really are eager to talk and express what’s going on inside their mind. They just want their muse—you!—to inspire them to share.
What if “true love” could happen in four, simple steps?
Too good to be true? That’s what I thought, too.
Until I heard this story about an old woman from Prague…
When you think about lasting, life-long love… when you imagine passion that burns for decades… when you dream about a man who adores you…
… You probably don’t think about cobblestone streets in Eastern Europe. Or scientists with beakers and white lab coats.
But this weird story from Prague may be the secret to love that never ends. See for yourself:
If you’ve ever wanted your man to worship the ground you walk on, this is worth ten minutes of your time.
(I couldn’t put it down.)
Just click here for details:
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
Do you have any more conversation starters? I think that would help a lot Thank you. Susan Cross
I’m not too sure about some of these questions, but I have been following your tips in other e-mails I have been sent, and its worked. I have found such a lovely guy who actually cares about me and that I care about him. I have using the flirting technique and listening to him and also taking a step back to see what happens. I’ve always known this guy since I was 17 years old and kept in touch since then but only as friends, well that is until now. And I could not be happier, I will continue to read and take in you e-mails. I am excited about how it will evolve and blossom through time. Thank you so much
Great for the 2 Involved. Wish you both super exchanges and who knows but only you 2.
Happiness is true friendship.
Be true and faithful in your relationship.
Had to laugh. I actually had a guy friend ( musician) at a performance sing “ black Magic Woman” to me
I started out with Dan, knowing he wasn’t going to open up on his own any sexual likes or dislikes. After thinking about it and since we had been playing trivia (I asked the questions)for awhile . I would add a question of the own. Example: “What is your most sensual spot that is touched above the shoulders up? Well I did get an answer, not the one I expected but it worked.