10 Funny Names to Call Your Boyfriend

At some point, using a loved one’s name becomes gratuitous. When you first meet him, you’re fascinating to learn his name. When you date, you use his name often for effect. When you fall in love you use it occasionally, but usually only for emphasis or on a special occasion. Then, of course, when you finally get married, using his first name can be a threat! As in, “John Adams, what did you just say to me?”

So little wonder then couples decided a long time ago that cutesy nicknames and funny pet names were appropriate to use. These nicknames can be terms of endearment, sweet or funny, and romantic. Naturally, the best names are the ones that avoid any negative feelings or memories and instead go for the positive, the kind-hearted and the sentimental.

But let’s not forget the funny! It’s perfectly okay to create a funny pet name for your boyfriend because chances are, if he’s a cool guy he has a great sense of humor. The question is, how can you create a funny nickname that’s not insulting?

Let’s analyze how to do this according to 10 funny nicknames and WHY they’re wholesomely funny without being too cruel.

1. Captain Fix-It

Sort of a play on the old superhero or pirate theme, Captain Fix-It is a great nickname for your boyfriend if he knows his way around the garage (and around the bedroom, thank god!). Build up his ego by nicknaming him something that he actually does well, but pretend it’s his superpower. He’ll be delighted.

2. Bad Boy, Bad Baby, Bad Ass, Bad Seed

In short, call him a bad boy! Whether you want to call him Mr. Bad Ass, Bad Baby or even Bad Santa, you’ve made your point. Your boyfriend is a rebel! A sexy, moody and brooding guy that plays by his own rules. It’s funny but also kind of an ego trip since he tries so hard to be bad.

3. Honey Badger

I have to admit…I love this one! Honey badgers are delightful animals, well known for their fearless and unpredictable behavior. If he loves watching honey badgers on cable, then he’s bound to love being assigned an honorable Animal Name, as a reward for his own tenacity.

4. Sugar Daddy

The fact that this term is so ridiculous is all the more reason to use it, so you can butter him up, make him laugh and make him feel like a sexy pimp. Actually, most men kind of like the image of being a rich sugar daddy because they DO love to provide, work hard, and spoil their girlfriends with great gifts.

Of course, if you’re a regular reader of this blog you know that I encourage women to work and to be more independent in their lives. That’s what makes this nickname so funny. You’re both merely “pretending” that he’s a sugar daddy because it makes him feel good.

5. Thundercat, He-Man, Optimus, or hell, any 90s or 90s cartoon reference.

Many guys have fond memories of their childhood heroes, so any reference to your man being a He-Man among men, or better yet a Thundercat, is going to be hilarious. He might even go for some wacky 90s characters too, such as your adorable little Bender, Wakko, Homer, etc.

6. Wolverine

All right I love superheroes in general, but here’s why this one’s so funny. A lot of men, especially from the 60, 70s, 80s were raised in a different culture. They’re masculine, tough, sometimes closed off emotionally. They consider it “machismo”, or strength, to be this kind of man – a solid provider, a tough guy just like their dad was. A man who would fight the world just to give you a good life.

So if this sounds like your guy, reward him with the coveted title of your “Wolverine.”

7. Hedgehog

This is what I like to call the trifecta of cutesy, funny pet names. Why? Because it really fits any “type” of guy, whether he’s a badass kind of guy, a sweet guy or a big kid at heart. Hedgehog can refer to the lovable hedgehog mammal species, a spiny cousin of moles, shrews, who can roll into an adorable little ball. For the big kid, why of course, Hedgehog can refer to Sonic, the legendary video game character who now has a 3D reboot coming out. And finally, shamefully, for your badass boyfriend with an evil sense of humor, he’ll be delighted to be called “the hedgehog”, as a tribute to his favorite thespian Ron Jeremy.

8. The Big Lebowski

Or anything “big”. Guys LOVE being called big, whether it’s in respect to their big muscles, big personality and confident swagger, or ahem, their “big” manhood. Whether it’s Big John, Mr. Big or the Big Bossman, “big” is a word synonymous with male victory. Maybe that comes from nature – you know, the animal’s desire to be bigger and look bigger, to scare off predators.

9. Gizmo (or Stripe)

Maybe I’m partial to Gizmo because of Gremlins and mogwais, but you got to admit it’s a catchy love name for a guy who loves his gadgets, toys, computers, tablets, smartphones, watches and video games. And if your boyfriend is a mischievous type, why not name him after the most wicked mogwai / gremlin of all – Stripe?

10. Professor

I’m going to just assume you like brainy guys, because (A) they’re so fun to talk to, especially in a long-term relationship, (B) they’re usually far more eager to please you, and (C) they actually teach you lots of fascinating things. So why not reward your brainiac boyfriend with the prestigious and sexy role-playing title of “Professor”. Volunteer to be his kinky college student and see how long you can keep this funny nickname going.

As you can see, finding the perfect funny name doesn’t have to be a lofty mission. You can have sweet names, romantic and sexy names, and funny names, that remind each other of just how fun it is to be in love.

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

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Matthew Coast

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