This seems to be a common concern for most women I talk to…
“When should I let a man kiss me?”
Here’s the short answer:
Whenever he goes for the kiss.
The response I get to this tends to be…
“But I won’t kiss him if it’s too soon. I don’t kiss on the first date.”
Okay… I don’t know where that rule comes from but I want you to think about something for a minute…
The most common, most frustrating, and most heartbreaking concern I get from women is this:
“Why do men disappear on me!?!?”
Let me rephrase what this actually means:
Most women don’t really care that MOST men disappear on them… only the ones they really like.
It’s the man she feels chemistry for… the spark of attraction… the butterflies in her stomach.
That’s what most women are concerned about when they talk about men disappearing… they want to know why the man she felt so attracted to disappeared.
Hmm… so what does this have to do with kissing a man on a first date?
Let’s imagine things from a man’s perspective for a moment…
Men are expected to make all the moves, to take all the risk, and to constantly put themselves out on the line for the women they date.
Imagine that’s you. Imagine that you have to take ALL the risk and go for the kiss whenever you think it might be the right time.
And let’s say that you went out on a date with a woman. The two of you have an absolute blast!
You have so much fun, get to know each other so well, and you feel that spark of attraction that gives you butterflies in your stomach and makes it feel like everything is just so right.
Being that you’re the one expected to just know when to kiss the other person… you feel like there couldn’t possibly be a better time.
You look into the other person’s eyes, you lean forward, close your eyes, pucker your lips…
But all you get is their cheek… or worse yet… you’re left completely hanging out in the air with nothing to show for it.
“I don’t kiss on the first date,” comes from the person you’re with.
Yet what a buzz kill?!? All you’re left with is feeling inadequate, undeserving, and rejected.
All those great feelings that you had completely went away. And now all you can do is question in your mind what you did wrong. Thinking…
“But everything felt so great. What happened?!?”
Not only does this destroy the mood, it will probably destroy the chances of a second date too.
And just to be clear… I’m not saying that you should let a guy do anything. It’s good to have boundaries and respect yourself for them.
However, for a guy, going in and not getting the kiss can be devastating.
And having some kind of arbitrary rule for when you should and shouldn’t kiss a guy is likely to be a major turn off for any man.
If you want a second date with a guy and he goes in for a kiss on the first date, I suggest you let him kiss you.
Otherwise, it’s very unlikely that you’ll be getting a second date.
If you’re not interested in him, obviously you don’t need to kiss him ever.
Just realize what’s going through a man’s mind when he puts himself out on the line like that.
A man needs to know that you’re interested in him if he’s going to pursue something with you.
There’s nothing worse for a guy than pursuing a woman who doesn’t feel the same way towards him.
That ends pretty much the same way every time… in the “friend’s zone.”
And most men have ended up in that space so many times, that if he thinks he might end up there, there’s a good chance that he won’t pursue you at all.
So if you like a guy, you need to let him at least know that you’re sexually interested in him… you don’t need to sleep with him right away or let him do anything that you aren’t comfortable with.
And don’t make this some type of a reward for good behavior.
Let it be a sincere acknowledgement of how you feel for a guy.
Just know that if he doesn’t think you’re definitely interested in him, he’s not going to pursue you much longer. And if you deny him a kiss, it could make him feel like he’s wasting his time with you.
What do you think of this blog post? When should you let a man kiss you? Let me know what you think by leaving a comment in the box below!