Here’s a question from a woman in our community…
I’ve been in a relationship for 6 months, but he seems to be moving really slow. He told me that he noticed me 4 years back (we work at the same company), and that when I started here he always looked out for me (not in a creepy way, lol). He finally took charge and said hi and officially met me, and we have been together since then.
Just to give you an idea on him, he’s been with the same firm for 20 years. He’s happy with his job, yes he did move up in the ranks and did make a name for himself, which is awesome. He told me he likes routine a lot and doesn’t like to make hasty decisions.
I once time asked him why he holds back so much and he replied that he wants to make sure… because he’s been hurt before. I’ve also been hurt before, but I am not holding back…
Your program “Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever” made me think… do I want to commit to this guy? If he’s like this in our relationship now, how long will it be before he asks me to get married?
What I would like to know… am I wasting my time with this guy or is he just really slow?
Hi, Marie —
You’re dating a quiet, slower man, and they have their own advantages and disadvantages, and depending on what YOU want out of a relationship I think they can make pretty awesome partners.
The big advantages:
A quiet, slow man is usually very stable, not just emotionally, but also (very frequently) financially. For some people, this is a huge benefit. In other words, you get to be the dynamic, whirlwind person and he provides the grounding for that. You won’t be competing with him for attention, either.
Also, a man with a slow, deliberate approach can be quite a pleasure in the bedroom. He’ll take the time to get you where you want to go.
The potential problem:
Some women don’t like the slower-paced guys is because it just takes them forever to make a move! You might get frustrated having to wait on him all the time. And if you’re hoping to commit within a short time-frame, you might have to pass this guy on by.
But not necessarily! Men secretly yearn for commitment and marriage and in Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, I teach you how to turn that yearning into a truly primal need.
Slow-paced guys are usually pretty happy for you to lead on making moves, for one thing. So be SURE to communicate openly and clearly with him on the important stuff. This means you have to know what you want, of course, so if you’re not clear, GET clear.
And when it comes to commitment, the key to working with a man like this is to let him know your timeframe. If you hope to get married within a year after starting to date someone, you need to be able to let him know this in a non-threatening way.
Best to you, Marie!